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Sardarji jokes
Soldat Forums - Misc - The Bash Pit
mak89gt
January 10, 2004, 4:55 pm
Before i start on my great knowledge of Sardarji jokes, allow me to educate you on Sardarji's:
Sardarjis are the maojrity religion people in the Indian Punjab. They follow the religion called Sikh. Sardarjis are also found in the pakistan side of punjab, though not on majority. Sardarjis never cut or shave their hair on any part of their body, as it is against the rules of their religion, Sikhism, hence they are often mistaken for moslems. Sardarjis are considered to be stupid like rednecks and blondes. Here are some jokes about them:

1:

A Sardarji walks into an electronics store. He walks up to a t.v. and asks if he can purchase it. The dealer says that they dont sell that t.v. to Sardar's (plural of sardarji, actually i forgot to mention they are actually called, but people add 'ji' as respect for some reason, and yet make fun of them in these jokes!!!).
The Sardar left the stores angrily. He badly wanted that t.v., so he broke his religion laws by removing his turban and cutting his hair, and shaving his beard. He goes to the store and asks for the t.v. again. The dealer again denies him with the same words as before. The Sardar then goes home, shaves of all the hair on his face and head, and wears Hindu clothes. The Dealer again denies the t.v. with the same words when he re-enters. Angrily, the Sardar asks him how he came to know that he was a sardar. The dealer says that its because the t.v. is actually a microwave....

2:
How do you keep a Sardar occupied all day?

By writing P.T.O. (please turn over) on both sides of a blank paper!

3:
Four people have entered a room with a diamond in the centre. They are Batman, Superman, Clever Sardarji, Stupid Sardarji. Who get the diamond?

The stupid Sardarji (because the other three do not exist!!!)

4:
Jaswant Singh, a Sardarji has four sons. He writes out a form:

Last names: Singh, Singh, Singh, Singh
Nationality: Indian, Indian, Indian, Chinese.

A person staring over his form asks why one of his sons is Chinese. Jaswant replies by saying that he read in a paper that every fourth person born in this world is Chinese, hence his son must be Chinese!!

5:
Letter to a Sardarji from his mom-

Before i start this letter, here are some words that you may not understand:
Commode: Toilet
Bahu: Daughter in law
Badmash: Mischevious
Beta: not like Beta or Alpha, But Beyta, which means son

Here is the letter:

Dear Gurmeet,
I am in a well here and hoping you in the same well there.
I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so
we moved
20 miles.
I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the
house numbers
with them for their new house so they wouldnot have to change their address.
Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address Plate here,
so that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice.It even has a washing machine,situated right above the
commode.
I m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain
and havent seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad.
It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second
time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be
a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut
them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting The grass
at the cemetery. By the way I took bahu to our club's poolside.
The manager is badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit
is not allowed in this club.We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning.I haven't found out whether it is a girl
or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out,
but he fought
them off bravely and drowned.
We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his fathers
last
wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your
friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.


Love
Mom.


P.S : Beta, I was going to send you some money but by
the time I realized,I had already sealed off this
letter.

Regards,
Juana Suraj Narvekar





Well, thats all for now folks!
-mak89gt




mak89gt
January 10, 2004, 8:51 pm
and i hate russians who act like Paki's

palloco
January 10, 2004, 10:03 pm
LOL
It seems like Sardars for Indians are like Leperos for Spanish

mak89gt
January 11, 2004, 1:15 pm
Actually, these are just jokes. They happen to be the most clever and richest indians as a matter of fact, Indian Punjab has only 3% of its population under poverty line, believe it or not!!!

n00bface
January 11, 2004, 1:46 pm
All these jokes were already made about blondes, etc.. just replaced blonde with sardarji.. pfff

mak89gt
January 11, 2004, 2:35 pm
i do not believe they were, the only one that was based on a blonde joke is the one with superman, batman, etc. The rest were made Indians.

BMF
January 11, 2004, 4:19 pm
god you are so incredibly stupid

gi.joe
January 12, 2004, 11:04 am
lol BMF why do u hate indians?

i loved them jokes Mak... U ROCK DUDE!!

frogboy
January 12, 2004, 11:23 am
quote:Originally posted by BMF
indians and pakis blow my nuts
You went to a brothel in the middle-east? You know how much poverty and disease is there?!

BMF
January 12, 2004, 4:01 pm
no condom - no way

i hate indians for a reason

mak89gt
January 12, 2004, 5:00 pm
That post is written by something that is so stupid, if I took its tiny brain and rolled it down the edge of a razor blade, it would be like a lone car going down a six lane highway. Dullard, do yourself and everyone else a favor: disconnect your computer from the Internet.

I don't think you are a fool after reading your post, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? It's truly amazing the way you never let an idea interrupt the flow of your typing, but then, making sense isn't your area of expertise, is it? Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. How true is Stanislaw J. Lec's famous remark: "Every now and then you meet someone whose ignorance is encyclopedic."

You are about as entertaining as a child's inflatable punching toy. You bop it, it springs back, you bop it again and you forget it ever existed. It slowly deflates in an unused corner, then one day you throw it away. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: take a fatal overdose of your medication. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if your father didn't screw a plant and raised a blooming idiot; if your weren't so fat that the Brooklyn Bridge would collapse if you ever tried to go Bungee Jumping off of it, or if you didn't have a face designed exclusively for radio. Nah, of course you would.

Dunce, you are jumping around this room like a coked-up turkey on a hot stove. Sit down, and give your brains a rest.

mak89gt
January 12, 2004, 5:18 pm
now, hopefully that is settled, i can now concenrate on the new adventures of two sardarji's -
The adventures of Jaswant Singh and Barbeer Singh-
1
Jaswant Singh and Barbeer Singh boarded a double decker bus. Jaswant Singh took the top part of the bus, Barbeer Singh took the below. Later, Barbeer went to visit Jaswant, when he found Jaswant sitting and shivvering with fright. Barbeer asked him what was the matter. Jaswant replied by saying that barbeer was safe on his side on bus becasue he had a driver, but he did not have one!

2
Jaswant and Barbeer went to see Jurassic park. When
the scene came when the dinosa
ur is following them in stealth, barbeer gets frigened. Jaswant asks him why, because its only a movie. Barbeer replies by saying that he knows its a movie, but the guys being followed by the dinosaurs do not know that!!!

-more coming soon-

Camping_Carl
January 12, 2004, 5:57 pm
hey why do people with the name mak89gt always have to be gay?

Hitman
January 12, 2004, 6:26 pm
quote:hey why do people with the name mak89gt always have to be gay?Lol, I knew it was either BMF or you who would say something like that after that long...post.

BMF
January 12, 2004, 8:20 pm
quote:That post is written by something that is so stupid, if I took its tiny brain and rolled it down the edge of a razor blade, it would be like a lone car going down a six lane highway. Dullard, do yourself and everyone else a favor: disconnect your computer from the Internet.

I don't think you are a fool after reading your post, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? It's truly amazing the way you never let an idea interrupt the flow of your typing, but then, making sense isn't your area of expertise, is it? Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. How true is Stanislaw J. Lec's famous remark: "Every now and then you meet someone whose ignorance is encyclopedic."

You are about as entertaining as a child's inflatable punching toy. You bop it, it springs back, you bop it again and you forget it ever existed. It slowly deflates in an unused corner, then one day you throw it away. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: take a fatal overdose of your medication. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if your father didn't screw a plant and raised a blooming idiot; if your weren't so fat that the Brooklyn Bridge would collapse if you ever tried to go Bungee Jumping off of it, or if you didn't have a face designed exclusively for radio. Nah, of course you would.

Dunce, you are jumping around this room like a coked-up turkey on a hot stove. Sit down, and give your brains a rest.



Good job ripping off somebody's paragraph mak. You know that plagiarism is a crime? Anyway..

You talk about my ignorance, you talk about my lack of brains. And then you go on insulting a whole population of people based on their religion. Your ignorance truly amazes me.
mak89gt, you are the stupidest person i have seen on these forums so far, and i speak from my heart. You are even worse than M. I am not going to open this thread anymore, because it insults my intelligence so much.

gi.joe
January 13, 2004, 4:52 am
lol


another flame war
yay!

frogboy
January 13, 2004, 4:54 am
quote:You are even worse than M

Ooh, thats bad... *shudders at M*

mak89gt
January 13, 2004, 2:47 pm
BMF is just stupid, there are jokes even on my race in India, i dont mind them at all. Im even collecting some Keralite jokes too, im sure you guys will find them much funnier.

now back to the adventures of Jaswant and Barbeer Singh-

Jaswant and Barbeer went to a weight doctor and asked for his advice on how to get rid of his weight. The doctor told them to jog 5 miles a day for around 30 days.
30 days pass by. Jaswant calls the doctor via mobile. He announces that he and Barbeer have lost most of their plumpness. But they ask if they should jog back home, as they are now 15o miles away from home. Get it?

I would like to thank Md Sahil for creating the adventures of Jaswant and Barbeer Singh.

gi.joe
January 14, 2004, 5:26 am
her her


:)

mak89gt
January 14, 2004, 3:19 pm
sardarji#1 : went to kashmir officially and called to his house over phone.
sardarji#2 : had taken the receiver.
sardarji#1 : Who is speaking?
sardarji#2 : Servant Sir.
sardarji#1 : Where is the Madam?
sardarji#2 : She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
sardarji#1 : What? I am her husband came to kashmir today.
sardarji#2 : What can I do now sir?
sardarji#1 : Open the cub board, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, Till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time ... there comes 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
sardarji#2 : Yes, I did Sir. But what can i do next Sir?
sardarji#1 : Open the back door, throw both of them into the well
sardarji#2 : I can open the back door, but how can i throw both of them from this third floor into the well in the ground floor Sir?
sardarji#1 : What...? Are you in the third floor?
sardarji#2 : Yes Sir
sardarji#1 : Sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!



Jaswant Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus. Politely,he asked the saree clad female,standing in front of him,"Can you lift that saree (long skirt)? I wanna take a photograph" The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital.

He was surprised to see Barbeer Singh on the bed next to him,in a still worse condition.

Barbeer started to explain his "Adventure".
He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied, " I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He went towards the next house and without taking any risks,asked," Do you have "grown up" daughters?". The Owner asked," WHY????????? " I want to stay here tonight !!!!.




BMF
January 14, 2004, 4:18 pm
Please stop insulting people based on their religion in these forums

thank you

mak89gt
January 14, 2004, 5:01 pm
BMF: Im not making fun of their religion, and its not based on their religion. As i said so, there are many jokes on my race too. Are there not jokes on rednecks and blondes in the U.S.A.? dont you normally make fun of them? its around the same here. I also see that you are a child of your word. You said that you will never again open this thread, lol.

mak89gt
January 14, 2004, 5:21 pm
cool joke i found, youll burst your bladder laughing.
FIRST: Sardarji's are found in the Indian sate of Punjab.



Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar, the last one being Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The "Jana Gana Mana" is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Gujarat
(b) Russia
(c) Canada
(d) Pakistan
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?
19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?
20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)? (a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting


*You must answer at least three questions correctly to qualify*

palloco
January 14, 2004, 8:40 pm
1 English
2 Babyloans rided on pterodactyls, made the bible, law say no bmf were allowed and they lived in holes.
3 a
4 d
5 sqrt(pi)
6 peeing time
7 0, you wont catch me here, we all know the guy was called Michal
8 Riders
9 erm?
10 Adan, Eve, bob, Alice Cain Abel and Manolo Cabeza bolo
11 from shops
12 yes
13 to get money
14 Fyro Macedonia
15 You push reactives and products appear
16 in the pizza
17 dunno
18 Depneds on thq quality of the apples
19 Atmosphere
20 still waiting

DNA.styx
January 14, 2004, 9:07 pm
mak89gt, this thread is not 1) constructive 2) funny. It ends here.