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shield
Soldat Forums - Soldat Talk - Game Improvements / Suggestions
pongo
January 15, 2004, 12:07 pm
shield - new secondary.

your opinion

frogboy
January 15, 2004, 12:10 pm
While we're at it, lets add magic fairy wands... er... no.

n00bface
January 15, 2004, 12:41 pm
There's already bulletproof vest..


btw frogboy..

Posts: 667


n00je.

bLaStEr
January 15, 2004, 4:14 pm
Shields = Medieval

Liber_Lupus
January 15, 2004, 4:36 pm
Shield ruined cs and it would ruin soldat, NO!

kkazican
January 15, 2004, 4:50 pm
I was unaware that shields would even stop bullets.

pongo
January 15, 2004, 7:32 pm
yes, yes

?
January 15, 2004, 8:51 pm
it teh shield was thick enough it could stop a bullet, but the shield wasn't made to stop a bullet so... no

aLpHaNuMe12iK
January 16, 2004, 1:33 am
Once upon a time, there was a Soldat.
His name was Private, Private Parts.
Private Parts was a very special person, and not just because he had a stupid name.
No, it was because he was in the special Soldatian Experimental Weapons Development And Testing (SEWDAT) branch of the Soldat Corps.
One day, General Mayhem approached our very own Private Parts concerning a new secondary weapon for the front lines way over in the country of ctf_run.

GM: PRIVATE!
PP: YES, SIR?
GM: PRESENT ARMS!
PP: HUH?
GM: WAIT, THE VETERAN?S DAY ASSEMBLY IS OVER, IS IT NOT, PRIVATE? PP: YES SIR, I BELIVE SO, SIR!
GM: YOU CAN STOP SHOUTING!
PP: YES SIR!
GM: OK!
PP: UH HUH!
GM: YEAH!

Well, the conversation actually went more like this:

GM: Private Parts, we have recently developed an experimental secondary weapon that requires extensive testing before it can be approved and programmed into the Matrix.
PP: And you require my expertise.
GM: *ahem* Well, you see, this weapon is still very experimental, and there has been a high casualty rate in practice.
PP: I see? and my more privileged counterpart, Lieutenant Parts doesn?t really enjoy dying, does he?
GM: In two words, not really. Word is that if you help us out, you might get promoted?
PP: REALLY? Count me in.
GM: Good. This project?s code name is Shield, no word of this outside our testing server, ?dnagames.net[version1.2abcdef(and possibly g)].?
PP: Yessir.

And thus ended the first conversation.
Private Parts reported to the testing server at oh-fifteen-minutes the next morning:

Server Admin: Who doth enter the sacred ground of the testing facility?
PP: It is I, Private Parts!
SA: AT OH-FIFTEEN-MINUTES? GO BACK TO SLEEP!
PP: Yessir.

And thus ended the second conversation.
Private Parts reported yet again to the testing server, later that morning.

Server Admin: Ahh, you doth cometh again, this timeth at the righth houreth.
PP: Uhh? yeah.
SA: Well, equip the newly developed special weapon, and let us begin.
PP: Okey dokey. Umm? this kinda looks like something from the dark ages?
SA: Ahh, but it is?
PP: But it has all sorts of cool gizmos like a force field generator and advanced alloys and the like, right?
SA: Umm? why don?t you just try it out?
PP: Cool! Wait? how do I test it out?
SA: /ADDBOT JESUS
PP: /votekick jesus
PP: Hah, I win!
SA: HOW DARE YOU! YOU FORGET THAT KICKING DOESN?T WORK IN THE MATRIX v.1.1.5fixed.
PP: Oh? right. Dang. So what do I do now?
SA: You let jesus shoot you, and we observe what effects the shield has?
PP: Like stopping the bullets and stuff with cool force fields?
SA: Umm? why don?t you just try it out?
PP: Yessir.

And thus ended the third conversation.
Private Parts stood on the blue side of ctf_kampf and waited for Jesus to try to kill him.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And Private Parts noticed that Jesus was taking a piss? on the top of the map.

PP: GOD DAMMIT! WTF ARE YOU DOING ON TOP OF THE MAP? GET OFF THERE AND TEST DAMMIT! YOU STUPID FOOL! PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO, DO YOU? F**KING A**HOLES!
Jesus: If it bleeds, we can kill it.
PP: WELL? GET OFF THERE!
Jesus: It?s over Johnny.
PP: WTF? ARE YOU SOME F**KING STUPID OR SOMETHING?
Jesus: Die!
PP: WAIT, LEMME GUESS? HMMM?
Jesus: Medic!
PP: YES! YOU ARE F**KING STUPID!
Jesus: You're one ugly mother fu**er!
PP: HEY! F**K YOU VERY MUCH TOO!
Jesus: Anytime?
Server Admin: Oh? sorry? Jesus has a little bug. Here?
SA: /KICKBOT JESUS
SA: /ADDBOT JESUSversion2

And thus ended the fourth conversation.
Private Parts stood on the blue stid of ctf_kamph and waited for JesusVersion2 to try to kill him.
And JesusVersion2 pulled out his ak47, and shot Private Parts.
Private Parts would be dead, had it not been for the shield.



----WAIT----
Does this mean I, the author, want a shield in Soldat?
No, actually this means I got tired of writing this story for now, and will continue it later.
-------------------------------------------TO BE CONTINUED--------------------------------------


Oh, and for you guys who didn?t get the conversation between jesus and private parts, jesus, a bot, was simply stating taunts from the default taunt list. Oh, and you?re stupid btw.


Aquarius
January 16, 2004, 2:16 am
How about spears?

DesFS
January 16, 2004, 5:41 am
better yet, lets have caveman clubs.

?
January 16, 2004, 10:19 pm
lets run naked and hug each other, the person with the most hugs wins =D

Claw
January 17, 2004, 1:12 am
haha lol... maybe next weapon is a Broken Radio! It plays so good music...
so you stop to listen it and I shoot you! What do you think?

SILENT
January 17, 2004, 1:27 am
Chopsticks would pwn.

?
January 17, 2004, 1:44 am
i got it!!! make up!! the prettiest soldat wins

Famine
January 17, 2004, 2:04 am
Let's shout random weapons sarcastically to show how stupid his idea was....Yea, that'll show him. Instead of posting a Bad idea I will post a 1 hour long windinded speech. Time to spam up this thread

?
January 17, 2004, 2:06 am
way to ruin our fun, go quit soldat dummy

Famine
January 17, 2004, 2:10 am
Way to ruin fun!? Well I am sure the person you are insulting is having a lot of fun. People love to get insulted...I think I will take you off my list ((must read bash pit))

?
January 17, 2004, 2:22 am
this is the forums get used to getting flamed it happens everyday, o btw please don't take me off you list ill do anything!!!

Famine
January 17, 2004, 2:23 am
*shrugs* fine, you may be on my list...people *killed* everyday, so I guess that is alright too (and I don't mean that spammign is as bad as killing.)

?
January 17, 2004, 2:26 am
dieing is an essentail part of life, get used to it...

n00bface
January 17, 2004, 2:29 am
famine, shut up.

Famine
January 17, 2004, 2:31 am
I will, since any more statements of repeating my idea will be spamming. I have said my share, and you shall never hear from me on this topic again.

aLpHaNuMe12iK
January 17, 2004, 2:38 am
hey, um, what happened to:

nice story aLpHa, i'd like to see the end of it.

and

dam, thats almost as good as a fairy tale...

you guys make me sad.