Ok the contest is to make a joke then see who laughs the most at it.

heres mine and yes your joke can be old or what ever

A doctor is delivering a baby.



He looks at the baby in a strange manner. Then he grabs it by the head and begins to smash it around. First, against the AC. Then against the bed.


Horrible. Horrible I say.

The mother starts crying. Then she looks up at him and says: "What have you done to my baby!?"

The doctor smirks and says: "April fools! It was ALREADY dead."

i rule

OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG O-M-F-G LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLLOLOOLOLOLOLOOLOL :D :D :D :D :D

THIS JOKE ARE TEH 1337

SHEER FUNNINESS HAS MADE ME TEH H@pi :D

LOL.
CC winz the prize.
Or is it?

you guys can tell jokes to.

LXS wanted me to tell his jokes so i will

here is the first one

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the at the next stop.

When the bus starts on it's way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. "If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are God and you could command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides this is a great idea, so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun shows up and begins praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD! I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, BUT ... first you must have sex with me." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun.

After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts,"Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the hippie!!"

Then the nun jumps up and shouts, "Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the bus driver!!"



ALSO HERE IS ANOTHER

ivebeenhaddammit: this construction worker
ivebeenhaddammit: was high up on a scaffolding
ivebeenhaddammit: whne he realized he needed a jackhammer
ivebeenhaddammit: he signealed to his friend at the bottom
ivebeenhaddammit: who couldnt hear him but could see him
ivebeenhaddammit: so the guy on top started using hand signals
ivebeenhaddammit: he pointed to his eye, for I
ivebeenhaddammit: he pointed to his knee, for need
ivebeenhaddammit: and then did a jack hammer motion
ivebeenhaddammit: the guy on the bottom
ivebeenhaddammit: nodded his head
ivebeenhaddammit: gave a thumbs up
ivebeenhaddammit: and took off his pants
ivebeenhaddammit: and started to jack off
ivebeenhaddammit: the guy on top, puzzled and furious
ivebeenhaddammit: raced down
ivebeenhaddammit: and smacked the guy across the back of his head
ivebeenhaddammit: "what the hell are you doing?! i wanted a jackhammer, dumbass!"
ivebeenhaddammit: the second guy was like
ivebeenhaddammit: "yeah i know, i wanted to tell you i was coming"

Joke:

Leiro

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cup_of_squirrels wins.

What do you call the fatty tissue surrounding the clitoris?

The woman.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Erm, sorry ladies, don't mean to be offensive [:)]

I DISAGREE

My sis told me this one:

What do you call the useless peice of skin at the end of a penis?
The Man :-/

I think 1 liero one still pwns all!

A man walks in to a bar, ouch..

Here's another joke: Hitman.

Pwned.

Nah, not really. I was gonna post the exact same thing, just with your name in place of mine, but I knew you would do it, so I left it up to you. Simple things please simple minds..

quote:Originally posted by Hitman
Simple things please simple minds..

quote:Originally posted by Hitman
I was gonna post the exact same thing

You really are a retard sometimes.

I was going to do it, unlike you, you actually did it.

that first joke is the funniest

lol why thank you.

*walks off* tcha!

I agree with Stalky. I live the simple life..

Two sharks meet eachother at a bar, and the shark with the largest fin says 'Haai!'

(Yeah, it seems that this joke is much funner in Dutch than in English, 'cause 'Haai' in Dutch means Shark...sorry)

*slaps JaZzMaN*

*slaps Stalky* im on to you Stalky!

*cocks AK74*

Come get some...!

I heard some jokes but they are about jews so I won't say them.

ROFL STALKY SAID COCK

i like the first joke 1 vote [:P] good joke Campingcarl

you guys can post some to... even if they are offensive this is the bash pit afterall

I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.

He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his f*cking head.

*shotgun pwns Stalky*

1337 O.o

Whats 1337 mean :)
Uhh:
Setting: CLASSROOM
Hey miss! Said the little kid
Yes little kid? Said the Teacher
YOU WANT SUMA DIS!? j/k
Can I please goto the toilet, im really busting!
ughh, We are learning the ABC!
Ill let you go if you say the whole thing!
OK!!
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z
Good, you... Hey wait, wheres the P?
Running down my leg miss... :(
SORRY THATS ALL I GOT!

Dude, that was the [:-censored]test joke I have ever heard! You should be ashamed!

1337 = leet = Elite in nerd language ^^

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Wheres my tractor?
hahahahhahaha (sorry i wont do that again)

thats [:-censored]ing sick HellRaider

Ohhh... Oh [:-censored]... Ar... Man I feel... Sick BErhUmPhhhh....

I KNEW WHAT IT MEANT JUST WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING STUPID!

Nerd language ? Ahh AHh Ahhhuhuhherrrmmmm!