When Do You Masturbate In The Day! or night?

i have read some peoples Blogs where they said they must masturbate before they go somewhere in the morning..

i have read where some must do it before they go to bed.. i have read whre people do it every hour almost even in school or work

but what about you guys? do you do it while playing games.>?
at thank giving?

grandmas handing out the turkey to each child and your wacking off the same time your getting the green beans...

but seriously whats the weirdest time you have been masturbating.. and have you been caught doing it.. in a weird situation? or just... someone walks in and there LIKE OMFG!

I play this game with my friends, where you masturbate on a slice of bread, and whoever cums last, has to eat the bread...I always loose on purpose

uhhh i think youre referring to the game "soggy biscuits" and youre supposed to do it on crackers

for your own sake im sincerely hoping that u were joking in that last post.

duh ? [:D]

He's using his gay person account so he has to say something queer, you missed out on the cawk thread

boo, that was some homosexual kid trying to get attention because his father rapes him, Im the real karmazon

day or night? - Night before bedtime.

At work etc? - I've done it once at work and twice at school.

While playing games? - Not Soldat.

At Thanksgiving? - What like at the table during grace? no.

Wierdest time? - At work. I was still on the clock, so I got paid to jerk off. I used to do it with a fake rabit pelt while at home though. Oh that defiled little pelt.

Ever been caught? - Not per se. I've never had someone walk in on my and clearly see I was yanking my crank. My brother opened my door once and I was under the covers, asked what I was doing. I made up some BS excuse and he went away. That's about as close as I've come (no pun intended).

Im masturbating right now.

Camping Carl wins the craziest thread title award.

quote:Originally posted by karmazon
I play this game with my friends, where you masturbate on a slice of bread, and whoever cums last, has to eat the bread...I always loose on purpose


this explains the karmazonp account.

I was doing it on the roof of an old ladys house and she walked out and tripped on my cum

amazing

Usally before i got to sleep, helps me sleep better :) And no ive never been caught.

i started doing it because i dont want to get boners the next day in class.

One time I masturbated and the semen was a weird yellowy color. I got it checked and the doctor said it was fine. But he then proceeded to fondle with my testicles and I questioned his procedure. He took the test bottle of my semen, opened the lid, and tossed it against my face. I was temporarily blinded for several seconds when the nurse had come in to find my pants down, the doctors hands on my balls, and yellowy semen on my face.

Needless to say, she was quite shocked. She screamed violently and the doctor told her to calm down. It was then I decided to make a run for it and I was running with my pants down but tripped and hit my head against the hallway wall. I woke up in his office again, but I noticed a slight pain on my anal region. I felt it to check if anything was wrong, and realized that I had gotten stitches. My eyes began to focus and I looked around the room. There was the nurse, mouth open and blood dripping from the side of it. I also noticed several gunshot wounds to her breast area.

The doctor was nowhere to be found. I pulled up my pants and walked out of the office. It was the last time I would ever see the horrid building again.

I went back today because he offered me candy after school if I went into his car.

i don't get it

no one evewr sees me do it.... muha ha i'm so damn stealthy

quote:_Mancer_ Posted - 16 Oct 2004 : 17:32:18
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Im masturbating right now.


I hate you.

quote: Masturbate! have you been caught?!

good heavens NO!

quote:Mastrubate! have you been caught?!

How can you get caught jerking off? I mean.. you usualy make sure you do it as quiet as possible if youre not alone in the house..

I dont know why I replyed to this thread...

Fap fap.

Stalky masturbates at least 3 times a day.

quote:Originally posted by Hitman
Stalky masturbates at least 3 times a day.

..and you know it.

heh just imagine the face of your mom if she saw you...

lmao liquidis...o btw, this must be quite the eye opener for the female soldat players...on when we do it, or how stupid we are for where we do it...

O and how come nobody's said during a clan war? I mean, i aint the only one right? (man was s/0 great....)

quote:Originally posted by b00stA
quote:Originally posted by Hitman
Stalky masturbates at least 3 times a day.

..and you know it.
He has a webcamera...which he forgets to turn off sometimes..


..I like to watch

thats sick hitman...

hitman wtf...you passed the gay line :/

Oh, boi.

quote:Originally posted by TIR_Blade

O and how come nobody's said during a clan war? I mean, i aint the only one right? (man was s/0 great....)

I had a feeling blade.. i had a feeling

we all had a feeling.


Back on topic, I never w4nk, 'cos my penis is stupid.....probably why i smoke instead.

Do you hear your parents hvaing sex?

Chakra you told me on irc that you do it all the time, and then you tried to make a masterbation joke and me and n00bface didnt get it :S:S

quote:Originally posted by Hitman
Stalky masturbates at least 3 times a day.


n00bface does it at least 3 times per hour. My reasoning? That's how many times he goes AFK, half the time he blames it on, "he was DMing some n00bs in soldat and owned them", but, how likely would that be? The other half, he says he's looking at dirty pictures.

Edit and Edit 2:
quote:within the space of about half an hour:[@n00bface] masturbate me
[@n00bface] nowww
[@n00bface] MASTUUURRBATTTEEE MEE NOW@!!! kekekekek
[@n00bface] masturbate me now
[@n00bface] MASTURBATE ME NOW!!
--- half an hour after I edited first time:
[@n00bface] time for me to w*nk

Hahaha, so true...

how does one "masterbate" someone else?


[edit]
time for my nightly ritual...

it was a song you [:-censored]er

you made it into a song?!?!? you sick [:-censored]

time to massage my nuclear bomb
brb

I masturbate to my asshole.

Why I even bother reading this thread....

i walked into my dorm room and walked in my roomate cranking the other day... i was wondering why the door was closed because i had left it open when i left to go get some food. i get in. "Hey **** why's the door closed?" *clears throat* "I'm... uh... touching myself"

didnt bother me, but i thought it was funny as hell how honest he was.

quote:Originally posted by Social Poison
how does one "masterbate" someone else?


i don't even want to know...

quote:Originally posted by b00stA
<@n00bface> time to massage my nuclear bomb
<@n00bface> brb
ROFL

quote:Originally posted by Social Poison

how does one "masterbate" someone else?


We like to call these handjobs. Other people give these to you. They're quite good.

didn't you give me one of those last night? no wait.. that was my girlfriend :) (they aren't that good at it though).

Usually before I sleep.

Have I been caught? Not really. I mean, I was in a dorm in highschool and usually my roommates would ask for 5 minutes of no-talk time to relieve their sexual desires. :D Afterwards we would just go back to chatting like normal. It was commonplace to walk in a room and find a guy laying in bed... not reading a book. Near everyone had stores of Vasaline/Cocoa Butter/Lotion in some Cubby/Closet/Trunk. Some guys even exchanged magazines and cd's for visual help.

quote:Originally posted by Elephant_Hunter
Usually before I sleep.

Have I been caught? Not really. I mean, I was in a dorm in highschool and usually my roommates would ask for 5 minutes of no-talk time to relieve their sexual desires. :D Afterwards we would just go back to chatting like normal. It was commonplace to walk in a room and find a guy laying in bed... not reading a book. Near everyone had stores of Vasaline/Cocoa Butter/Lotion in some Cubby/Closet/Trunk. Some guys even exchanged magazines and cd's for visual help.


for your own good I hope you're joking

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

quote:for your own good I hope you're joking

For your own good I hope you're not serious. Gah, if you can't handle real life on the internet then how do you in real life? Are you always walking around trying to hide your sexuality instead of being the beastly karmazon we all know?

LOL NUCLEAR BOMB!!!!!!!

The trick to this is to make sure no one barges in although i have been caught in the living room watching PRON on my comp cause my comp aint in my room. The person who caught me was......my mom while she walked in the front door. O.o

I masturbate just before I fall asleep. Sometimes at nighttime. Rarly on day.

And... yes, my mum was F-king close to caught me doing it. But I think she failed to caught me.

...can someone tell me why the fck I tell you this?

oh yea.. Oh Yea.. OH ... um... hi thier mom... YOU HAVE SEEN NOTHING