All jokes posted here. I'll start off with a few of my faveourites.

No.1
3 guys get stuck on a desert island and it's only them and a cannibal ! The cannibal makes a deal with them that he'd let them leave if there 3 penis's could match his 1.
The cannibal whips out his 20 inch schlong and says, " here beat that ". They however choose not to beat it but get out there own cocks. The sizes consisted of 10 icnhes and 9 inches. By this time they were quietly confident they would succeed. Needing only 1 inch more. The third got his out and it was indeed 1 inch. After much tense calculations the cannibal agrees to let them leave.
On the boat home the 10 inch guy sniggers and says, lucky I had a 10 incher. The other one smiles, lucky I had a 9 incher. The other guy looks sad however and says " lucky I had an erection! "

No. 2

A guy is stuck on a desert island with only a pig and a dog. After a few months there he starts too feel increasingly sexually frustrated. so he decides that the pig is the best option however the dog keep biting him when he goes to do the dirty deed. This goes on for a month and the man cant take it anymore.
But ! To his surprise he sees a beutiful young lady drowning at sea. He goes and saves her and she's so happy that she says " I will do anything for you !" To which the man replies " Gonna take that damn dog for a walk !!!"

No.3

What did the banana say to the dildo?
<You> Dunno..
<Banana> What the hell are you shaking for, shes gonna eat me !!

Add some more jokes and make this teh official joke thread stickay :D.

I guess they would be funnier if you'd told them.

There was already one in the bash pit a bit ago...

yup.. and i made it.. jaz..asshat

quote:Originally posted by Sprocketyup.. and i made it.. jaz..asshat


Dont call me anything you retarded spamming nub. Your one of the like top 5 hated figures in soldat community. not because ur bad in a cool way but cos you post meaningless shat. Who teh fawk r joo!1one1!

Joke:

3 midgets decided to try and get in the world book of records. One runs out the room and says Iv'e got the smallest feet in the world !!!! The next one goes in, does some tests and he comes out and he says ive got the smallest hands in the world !!! The next one looks down to his lower area and goes yey ! He runs in the room but doesn't come back out with the same enthuiasm.....all he could say was " who's sprocket...."

Wham bam thank you mam !

Seriously...why did you make another joke thread? Are you that desperate for attention?

Cricket joke!


England.

HAHA I'M HILARIOUS


Another thing I saw on TV yesterday, i was watching Fox 8 (shut up, I know fox is bad :() and they had this really lame cop show on, and the police had found a bunch of syringes and drugs in his pants, and I just shouted out "He's got crack in his pants!". Then after me and my sister laughed a bit it really did turn out he had crack in his pants... ironic. :D

quote:Originally posted by The GeologistSeriously...why did you make another joke thread? Are you that desperate for attention?


I obviously didn't know there allready was a joke thread you cock jockey. If you don't have a joke to post, don't post at all.

I didn't see a joke in your above post...you're slacking. ^_^

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

You want a joke?
Look in the mirror!

Is it because I is black?

Well new joke. dont care what you say :X.

a man with no arms and no legs is sunbathing on the beach. 3 girls take pity on him and walk over. The first asks, have you ever been hugged..the man shakes his head and she gives him a hug. The second girl asks if he's ever been kissed, he shakes his head and she gives him a kiss. The third girl goes over and asks if he's ever been [IMAGE]ed. The man shakes his head enthusiasticly and has a huge smile on his face awaiting her next move. She says well you are now the tides coming in.



Next:

A woman wants to put the spice back into her sex life. She makes her husband a slap up meal and then lets him out to the pub with his mates. on his arrival home she is wearing a kinky suit. He asks her to take it off and do a handstand against the bathroom mirror. She is so exited by this because its the first time he's ecver suggested something so errotic. She does his request and he walks over. He puts his head between her legs, looks in the mirror and says, my mates are right I wouldn't suit a beard.

Wow, what a [IMAGE] thread, some joke thread
=/ This should be moved to Bash pit or locked please.

People who enthusiastically like to tell jokes aren't funny at all <- Fact.

No peter kay is funny and so are they- fact.

Make sense the next time you reply.

u want another arguement thread, ok ill give it to you. Get some friends....replying to joke threads that are meant to be a bit of a laugh and saying omg u want attention and then saying that i dont make sense, when i do because i dont type like this on the internet:

I am really smart because I type correctly on the internet and I allways make total sense. I make my name The Geologist because it makes people think im smart by default and when I type with my perfect typing everyone thinks im elite but im not because I suck at this game so I just go on the fourms and type with my perfect typing that makes me look smart ofcourse and try to gain respect there which isn't qworking because nobody likes me and my smartass comments. Oh well maybe I should just quit.

Hallelooja ! Go away geo ur not wanted.

yes shoo we don't need fun ruiners ;( let the poor man have his joke thread!

Denacke comes to Jazs rescue once again !

I want Geo here...

USA vs. Europe. Europe wins !

Moved to Bash Pit.

jaz = Mud

Now THAT'S a joke..

sprocket, dt, paramud and geologist for there own reasons are the most gay people on these forums. Go away your not wanted !

i'm having sex with you momma right now..

Your comebacks are so pish you pure mad heavy duty dafty. If I was anywhere near yank land I could fight you but I don't hit a man with glasses.

my teacher said we should respect black guy's.. but i dont know..
get rid of them i say..

Go away jaz

Soldat is like a sore Di-ck, you can not beat it.

jesus christ Sprocket u really are one of the most retard mudda[IMAGE]ing racist. Lame ass bitch.

quote:Originally posted by Jazu want another arguement thread, ok ill give it to you. Get some friends....replying to joke threads that are meant to be a bit of a laugh and saying omg u want attention and then saying that i dont make sense, when i do because i dont type like this on the internet:

I am really smart because I type correctly on the internet and I allways make total sense. I make my name The Geologist because it makes people think im smart by default and when I type with my perfect typing everyone thinks im elite but im not because I suck at this game so I just go on the fourms and type with my perfect typing that makes me look smart ofcourse and try to gain respect there which isn't qworking because nobody likes me and my smartass comments. Oh well maybe I should just quit.

Hallelooja ! Go away geo ur not wanted.


Oh yes Jaz..I'm just here to make you look dumb and nitpick the way you type all the time (it's too bad I wasn't talking about the way you were typing, but your little joke <- fact). Oh wait...you make it so damn easy when all you can do is call people gay, or fags, or cock jockies...hmm, looks like you're settling into a trend there. Maybe there's something you need to tell the rest of us? Too bad I won't be quitting anytime soon. ;)

Oh, and I have glasses to. Hope you don't come over here to "yank land" and try to kick my ass any time soon. ^_^ That I won't get into at the moment...lol.

Sprocket...insulting someone because they're black? One of the most retarded things you can ever do. If you're serious about that, then you just lost a lot of respect from me.

Did you even have any respect for Sprocket? He is one, if not the most immature 17 year olds I've seen. Sprocket, please grow up; your jokes, insults and comebacks are just lame, do us all a favour and stop posting.

Danny:quote:Originally posted by DannyLBjesus christ Sprocket u really are one of the most retard mudda[IMAGE]ing racist. Lame ass bitch.
You can't say anything about being racist you dumb [IMAGE]. You're the most racist person on this forum. If I remember correctly, seeing as I used to be a moderator, we were discussing whether we should ban you because of your racist remarks. Zip it.

Jaz, if somebody types grammatically correct posts it doesn't mean they spend all their time on the forums, or that they are trying to make everybody else look stupid, rather, it's out of respect for fellow members and for general easy reading. I'd rather read one of Geo's posts then one of Sprockets retarded ones.

All of you, with the exception of Geo, seriously, grow up.

Knock knock!

Who's there?

me being fined 350 posts...

me being fined 350 posts who?

From Subject: You have been given a warning by dna.styx
DNA.styx
Forum Admin

United Kingdom
3503 Posts
Sent - 30 Oct 2004 : 03:40:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fined 350 posts for spamming forum.
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i would give url but i trust no one...
it made me laugh so hard

that didn't rhyme :(

it wasn't suppose rhyme

quote:Originally posted by HitmanDid you even have any respect for Sprocket? He is one, if not the most immature 17 year olds I've seen. Sprocket, please grow up; your jokes, insults and comebacks are just lame, do us all a favour and stop posting.

Danny:quote:Originally posted by DannyLBjesus christ Sprocket u really are one of the most retard mudda[IMAGE]ing racist. Lame ass bitch.
You can't say anything about being racist you dumb [IMAGE]. You're the most racist person on this forum. If I remember correctly, seeing as I used to be a moderator, we were discussing whether we should ban you because of your racist remarks. Zip it.

Jaz, if somebody types grammatically correct posts it doesn't mean they spend all their time on the forums, or that they are trying to make everybody else look stupid, rather, it's out of respect for fellow members and for general easy reading. I'd rather read one of Geo's posts then one of Sprockets retarded ones.

All of you, with the exception of Geo, seriously, grow up.


Thats bull[IMAGE]. I am not racist. Why do u think i flipped when i saw his comment? If i was i wouldn't give a damn.

Just because you "flipped out" doesn't mean you're not racist. I've seen you say plenty of racist things, both on here and in games, and I'd wager there are plenty of other people who can say the same.

Could you give some examples? Im really interested to know.

.. .AHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok...
Thats better
Now your all [IMAGE] for using disturbing gothic avatar pictures, (sproket) or retarded pictures that arnt funny, (jaz)
Man they piss me off...
Ima [IMAGE] off outa this thread cus I dont live to die

NuZZ, you don't deserve to live.

And DannyLB, I remember your racist remarks against n1nj@ and asians too. I just can't find them in the Bash Pit. Maybe the mods got a hold of them.

quote:Originally posted by DannyLBCould you give some examples? Im really interested to know.

quote:Originally posted by DannyLB
4 STFU asian

quote:Originally posted by DannyLB I wanna whoop his asian/canadian ass


The only ones I could find...damn search keeps coming up with error messages. All the other crap I've seen you say has been in game, but it's along the lines of this banter with a few more four letter words sprinkled in for effect.

/me crosses arms, tilts head sideways, raises eyebrows and looks at DannyLB

quote:Originally posted by Hitman/me crosses arms, tilts head sideways, raises eyebrows and looks at DannyLB

HAHAHAHAH!

quote:Originally posted by Hitman/me crosses arms, tilts head sideways, raises eyebrows and looks at DannyLB


checking him out, are you?