Dear friends,

I'm sure all you chums have seen Star Wars. Well, I hope you liked the empire in that movie, because a new one is rising. Our clan, Kibitz, has trained together now for over four years. For the past two or so now, we have scoured the multiverse searching for worthy competitors and have come up empty handed. Every time we languidly fire up Soldat and join random matches, people accuse us of hacking, or make up excuses about server troubles, or start crying as we start tallying up points like Eisenhower beating up Goldwater.

To sum up, we are here to pose a challenge, and it's something you've probably never seen before. We are prepared to offer one hundred U.S. freedom dollars to the clan who manages to beat us in a match. Money will be paid via Paypal; guaranteed.

Completely unique. Revolutionary. God-like. Kibitz.

Send out your best teams of three.

Dictated by Kibitz Korp. but not read
Written by Earnest Ganjian

Kibitz Korp is:
Psychotic Bat (Sniper)
Solon (Attack)
Eternity (Defense)
Meibu-kan (Substitute)

Addendum:

As far as defeat is concerned, nothing will be required of losers but to admit their defeat and wallow in their shame. We lose, you gain one hundred pocket ginyuns to divide amongst your team as you see fit. We win, you must live with the realization that you could not defeat the best.

Such is the mercy of Kibitz.