Here's your chance to own a guide about idiots in Soldat! How to spot them? How to handle them?
Don't go online without knowing what you're up against!
For years doctor Jay, author of the critically acclaimed "Soldat for dummies", has studied the various groups of dumbasses found in online gaming, particularly Soldat.
[IMAGE]
Here's just a preview of his book:
The "lol-omg-rofl" dumbass
This guy will type the acronym "lol" (laughing out loud) an avarage of 80 times during an online session of Soldat.
It doesn't matter if he gets killed or kills someone, if he scores in a CTF game or the other team scores, he seems to be having the time of his life. Would he actually be rolling on the floor when he types "rofl"? What could possibly be that funny? I find it remarkable for a species with such a small vocabulary and so few braincells to still be able to control a mouse and keyboard.
How to handle:
Just keep quiet. Asking why he types "omg" or "lol" over and over again often results in another "lol".
The "funny" name dumbass
Your mother. Your parents. Your penis. Your dog. These are just a few examples of the names these fools have. Their goal ofcourse, is to have you read "You killed your mother" after they have killed you. Haha, very witty indeed. Too bad it got old after the first dumbass who did it in the first online shooter.
Other "funny" names include: Aids, Nigger, Adolf Hitler, ...
These retards are just looking for some attention. They are waiting for someone to make a remark about their nick. Just don't say anything. In fact, not saying anything in a server is the best approach. Only speak when it's necessary.
The conceited elitist
These are the morons who think they are the best players in the world. These are funny when they actually suck, but when they are moderately skilled they can annoy even the most experienced dumbass spotter like myself. They often make remarks like "PWNED" and "N00B" when they kill you. They feel superior after changing their skin color with the SSCC program. They are the ones who yell "FIRST AGAIN!!" after the round has ended. Wow great, you capped 4 times.
There's also the ones that seem to forget the fact that CTF or INF is a team game, and who solely join a server to rack up the most kills. They ignore people who run away with the flag, just to finish off an easy target or a person who is afk.
How to handle:
As hard as it may seem, the best way here is to, again, be quiet. Argueing with these people is useless.
The 1337 SWAT dumbass
Going by names like --==[S.W.A.T]==-- SOLID SNAKE or <<SEAL>> SnIpEr, these asshats will shout random orders like "GET THE FALG I MAKE DEFENCE!!1", "I NEEED 1 GUY TO COVER ME, IM GOING DOWNN WAY!".
The SWAT Dumbass, often seen with a barret, thinks he's in charge of the team in CTF or INF matches. When his team wins, it's because of his tactics. When his team loses, it's because they didn't listen to him. "I TOLD YUO TO GUARD OUR FLAGG YOU NOOB!!!!!11@"
The complaining whiner
Claiming that he has lag when his ping is 16 doesn't make the whiner very believable, yet he keeps trying to conceal his lack of skill with all sorts of excuses, such as calling you a sprayer while he used an automatic the entire previous game. Or saying his team sucks (and then joining the other team so it's 4 vs 6), or even saying he has a fever and can't aim well (cough*Kibitz*cough).
One time, I was playing on my clan's server, when a stereotypical whiner entered. The server is called 2wai's classic, and I had the clan tag |2wai| in my name. So this little fellow started complaining after I killed him 5 times in a row: "Hey 2wai guy, it's not fair!" "It's your own server, you have 0 ping, and we lag!" So I tried explaining to him that the server was dedicated, run by a clanmate, not even in my country. I had a ping of around 100, like everybody else in the server. But alas, he kept complaining about how unfair it was. Nothing for me to do than to ban him ofcourse. Sometimes I wonder how these dumbasses manage to breathe.
The dumbass with a "cool" name
Basically everyone with "dark", "shadow", "angel", "death", "ninja", "hawk", "dragon" or "master" in their nicks. I've never seen a server without one of these in them. I even saw a "Dark Shadow" once. As opposed to a light shadow?
I used to think these were cool names, but then I turned 13...
The crazy foreigner
I'm not a native english speaker either, but I don't ramble on in my own language. These idiots type whole stories, without there being anyone that can understand them. They don't get any response from other players, yet they keep going.
Tip: You can learn some interesting profanities in their language if you ask them who they're talking to.
So don't hesitate and order your copy now. You'll get the complete list, the accompanying CD-ROM, and the special goggles!
Only in the first week for the special introduction price of $19.99!
Call 0-800-DRJAY today!
Don't go online without knowing what you're up against!
For years doctor Jay, author of the critically acclaimed "Soldat for dummies", has studied the various groups of dumbasses found in online gaming, particularly Soldat.
[IMAGE]
![[IMAGE]](http://users.pandora.be/h_coremans/man_thumb_up.jpg){kind=link}
Here's just a preview of his book:
The "lol-omg-rofl" dumbass
This guy will type the acronym "lol" (laughing out loud) an avarage of 80 times during an online session of Soldat.
It doesn't matter if he gets killed or kills someone, if he scores in a CTF game or the other team scores, he seems to be having the time of his life. Would he actually be rolling on the floor when he types "rofl"? What could possibly be that funny? I find it remarkable for a species with such a small vocabulary and so few braincells to still be able to control a mouse and keyboard.
How to handle:
Just keep quiet. Asking why he types "omg" or "lol" over and over again often results in another "lol".
The "funny" name dumbass
Your mother. Your parents. Your penis. Your dog. These are just a few examples of the names these fools have. Their goal ofcourse, is to have you read "You killed your mother" after they have killed you. Haha, very witty indeed. Too bad it got old after the first dumbass who did it in the first online shooter.
Other "funny" names include: Aids, Nigger, Adolf Hitler, ...
These retards are just looking for some attention. They are waiting for someone to make a remark about their nick. Just don't say anything. In fact, not saying anything in a server is the best approach. Only speak when it's necessary.
The conceited elitist
These are the morons who think they are the best players in the world. These are funny when they actually suck, but when they are moderately skilled they can annoy even the most experienced dumbass spotter like myself. They often make remarks like "PWNED" and "N00B" when they kill you. They feel superior after changing their skin color with the SSCC program. They are the ones who yell "FIRST AGAIN!!" after the round has ended. Wow great, you capped 4 times.
There's also the ones that seem to forget the fact that CTF or INF is a team game, and who solely join a server to rack up the most kills. They ignore people who run away with the flag, just to finish off an easy target or a person who is afk.
How to handle:
As hard as it may seem, the best way here is to, again, be quiet. Argueing with these people is useless.
The 1337 SWAT dumbass
Going by names like --==[S.W.A.T]==-- SOLID SNAKE or <<SEAL>> SnIpEr, these asshats will shout random orders like "GET THE FALG I MAKE DEFENCE!!1", "I NEEED 1 GUY TO COVER ME, IM GOING DOWNN WAY!".
The SWAT Dumbass, often seen with a barret, thinks he's in charge of the team in CTF or INF matches. When his team wins, it's because of his tactics. When his team loses, it's because they didn't listen to him. "I TOLD YUO TO GUARD OUR FLAGG YOU NOOB!!!!!11@"
The complaining whiner
Claiming that he has lag when his ping is 16 doesn't make the whiner very believable, yet he keeps trying to conceal his lack of skill with all sorts of excuses, such as calling you a sprayer while he used an automatic the entire previous game. Or saying his team sucks (and then joining the other team so it's 4 vs 6), or even saying he has a fever and can't aim well (cough*Kibitz*cough).
One time, I was playing on my clan's server, when a stereotypical whiner entered. The server is called 2wai's classic, and I had the clan tag |2wai| in my name. So this little fellow started complaining after I killed him 5 times in a row: "Hey 2wai guy, it's not fair!" "It's your own server, you have 0 ping, and we lag!" So I tried explaining to him that the server was dedicated, run by a clanmate, not even in my country. I had a ping of around 100, like everybody else in the server. But alas, he kept complaining about how unfair it was. Nothing for me to do than to ban him ofcourse. Sometimes I wonder how these dumbasses manage to breathe.
The dumbass with a "cool" name
Basically everyone with "dark", "shadow", "angel", "death", "ninja", "hawk", "dragon" or "master" in their nicks. I've never seen a server without one of these in them. I even saw a "Dark Shadow" once. As opposed to a light shadow?
I used to think these were cool names, but then I turned 13...
The crazy foreigner
I'm not a native english speaker either, but I don't ramble on in my own language. These idiots type whole stories, without there being anyone that can understand them. They don't get any response from other players, yet they keep going.
Tip: You can learn some interesting profanities in their language if you ask them who they're talking to.
So don't hesitate and order your copy now. You'll get the complete list, the accompanying CD-ROM, and the special goggles!
Only in the first week for the special introduction price of $19.99!
Call 0-800-DRJAY today!