So yeah it's summer, crazy (Please refrain from swearing) is happening, I travel a lot, drink a lot and shiat so here i'll be posting tales and stories of waas sappening ok ? ok.
First I'll start from what I remember.
It was a late sunday evening. I was at my friend's house(let's call him Dan). So Dan has a mother and a step-father and they are both heavy drinkers, and his mother is hardcore drinker and she likes me. Holla Holla.
So anyway, we're at his house thinking of how to get drunk. Dan's mom is pretty drunk, and me and Dan are playing Halo and (Please refrain from swearing). She comes to the room we're in and she says(I AM (Please refrain from swearing)ING SERIOUS):
"If you clean the kitchen you can drink all the bear in the fridge"
"............."
After a minute we realized what she said.
So we did half assed job at cleaning the kitchen. Ya right, we didn't do (Please refrain from swearing). Anyway she comes from the store and brings us 12 pack of miller(bottles) and we steal 4 bud lights.
Now, bud light is the cheapeast bear out there, it tastes like piss, it's completely disgusting and i hate it, but it gets you drunk so we took it(yeah the fridge is full of it).
So it's about 10:00 pm(22:00) and we decided to go the beach. The beach is closed at that time and the rangers patrol it all the time. We sneak by lifeguard tower and walk around with case of bear and several cans, it's so obvious but we're lucky and no one has stopped us.
So after walking for about half an hour from place to place(we were looking for a place where rangers and lifeguards can't see us, but we failed), we said "(Please refrain from swearing) it" and sat under a palm tree.
So as soon as we opened first cans someone walks past us, about 20 feet from us. He didn't see us, phew.
But as soon as that guy dissapears, ranger's truck begins to drive in our direction.
"(Please refrain from swearing) RUN MUTHA(Please refrain from swearing)A, RUN"
So we ran with the (Please refrain from swearing)ing case of beer to a woman's bathroom. They're so much nicer than man's.
Anyway we're underage, it's illegal to have beer with you on the streets, beach. Beach is closed anyway. So right there we've got like 50 felonys.
Pfff we were in that bathroom for a good 20 minutes, when we decided to play it cool and just walk away towards the intersection.
Now I know this sounds ridiculous. Two guys with a case of beer walking from women's bathroom towards major intersection and hoping not to get caught.
Well it was so crazy it worked. So we're standing at a major intersection, major police patrol route and we're just repeating "turn green you mother(Please refrain from swearing)er". Okay, the light turns green and we run up the hill to a dark park, jump over few fences, slide down a jungle and go under this parking. It's like a secret tunnel under the parking from, which is pretty high above the ground and you can see streets and houses and restaurants and (Please refrain from swearing).
So we got drunk there, pissed all over that place I don't even remeber what happened but when we finished it was about midnight.
So we're (Please refrain from swearing)ing drunk and it's way after curfew. We're walking on a major street and act like dumbasses. I've got the munchies like a (Please refrain from swearing)er and decided to go to restaurant.
We see few cop cars outside of restaurant, so we started acting normal(ya right). So we enter the restaurant...AND THERE'S A (Please refrain from swearing)ING COP PARTY.
I've never run so fast in my life.
The cops were after us, we're (Please refrain from swearing)ing drunk, run to a park which is behind my friends house, jump(roll) over the wall into his "backyard" and pass out on the sofas.
My counciousness came back to me, and I'm on the sofa, Dan is next to me, cops are nowhere around and there are chips on the table so i start munching. Well, Dan wakes up and starts talking loudly, so in a second we see his dad coming towards us(but he didn't see us). So we jump(roll) over the wall again to the park and I sit on the bench and my friend for some reason goes to this fence and jumps over it, and lands on his head.
I'd help him, but I've never seen that fence before. I sat there for a long time, seemed like an hour and questioned the existance of that fence. Well finally I walk over there, Dan is lying on the ground, uncouncious. So I wake him up and the sprinklers went on, so he started getting naked, because he wanted to run through the sprinklers.
That's when we heard the cops coming again. So my last memory is my friend getting naked and me falling over the wall. And the only reason why I remeber falling over the wall is because of a cut on my hand.
So that was Sunday.
Now for a short story:
On Saturday I had a soccer game. I was on the field practising before the game and my stomach was hurting. I wanted to take (Please refrain from swearing). I've never took a (Please refrain from swearing) in a public restroom before. So I went to the bathroom, put a thick cover of toilet paper on the toilet and sat on it. Well, (Please refrain from swearing) it's diarrhea.
So to say it straight, my first (Please refrain from swearing) in a public restroom was liquid. I spent at least half an hour sitting there in pain.
(Please refrain from swearing).
I work at a small company that paints houses for rich people. My boss knows a lot of famous and very rich people and on a way to Los Angeles, she was telling me few stories. One that especially captured my attention was about Mary Fox, wife of the founder of FOX television.
Well, Mrs. Fox lives in a 20 THOUSAND SQUARE FOOT HOUSE((Please refrain from swearing)). That's impressive right ? Well, she lives there alone, and only has furniture in 3 rooms.
(Please refrain from swearing)ing rich people
updates coming soon
First I'll start from what I remember.
It was a late sunday evening. I was at my friend's house(let's call him Dan). So Dan has a mother and a step-father and they are both heavy drinkers, and his mother is hardcore drinker and she likes me. Holla Holla.
So anyway, we're at his house thinking of how to get drunk. Dan's mom is pretty drunk, and me and Dan are playing Halo and (Please refrain from swearing). She comes to the room we're in and she says(I AM (Please refrain from swearing)ING SERIOUS):
"If you clean the kitchen you can drink all the bear in the fridge"
"............."
After a minute we realized what she said.
So we did half assed job at cleaning the kitchen. Ya right, we didn't do (Please refrain from swearing). Anyway she comes from the store and brings us 12 pack of miller(bottles) and we steal 4 bud lights.
Now, bud light is the cheapeast bear out there, it tastes like piss, it's completely disgusting and i hate it, but it gets you drunk so we took it(yeah the fridge is full of it).
So it's about 10:00 pm(22:00) and we decided to go the beach. The beach is closed at that time and the rangers patrol it all the time. We sneak by lifeguard tower and walk around with case of bear and several cans, it's so obvious but we're lucky and no one has stopped us.
So after walking for about half an hour from place to place(we were looking for a place where rangers and lifeguards can't see us, but we failed), we said "(Please refrain from swearing) it" and sat under a palm tree.
So as soon as we opened first cans someone walks past us, about 20 feet from us. He didn't see us, phew.
But as soon as that guy dissapears, ranger's truck begins to drive in our direction.
"(Please refrain from swearing) RUN MUTHA(Please refrain from swearing)A, RUN"
So we ran with the (Please refrain from swearing)ing case of beer to a woman's bathroom. They're so much nicer than man's.
Anyway we're underage, it's illegal to have beer with you on the streets, beach. Beach is closed anyway. So right there we've got like 50 felonys.
Pfff we were in that bathroom for a good 20 minutes, when we decided to play it cool and just walk away towards the intersection.
Now I know this sounds ridiculous. Two guys with a case of beer walking from women's bathroom towards major intersection and hoping not to get caught.
Well it was so crazy it worked. So we're standing at a major intersection, major police patrol route and we're just repeating "turn green you mother(Please refrain from swearing)er". Okay, the light turns green and we run up the hill to a dark park, jump over few fences, slide down a jungle and go under this parking. It's like a secret tunnel under the parking from, which is pretty high above the ground and you can see streets and houses and restaurants and (Please refrain from swearing).
So we got drunk there, pissed all over that place I don't even remeber what happened but when we finished it was about midnight.
So we're (Please refrain from swearing)ing drunk and it's way after curfew. We're walking on a major street and act like dumbasses. I've got the munchies like a (Please refrain from swearing)er and decided to go to restaurant.
We see few cop cars outside of restaurant, so we started acting normal(ya right). So we enter the restaurant...AND THERE'S A (Please refrain from swearing)ING COP PARTY.
I've never run so fast in my life.
The cops were after us, we're (Please refrain from swearing)ing drunk, run to a park which is behind my friends house, jump(roll) over the wall into his "backyard" and pass out on the sofas.
My counciousness came back to me, and I'm on the sofa, Dan is next to me, cops are nowhere around and there are chips on the table so i start munching. Well, Dan wakes up and starts talking loudly, so in a second we see his dad coming towards us(but he didn't see us). So we jump(roll) over the wall again to the park and I sit on the bench and my friend for some reason goes to this fence and jumps over it, and lands on his head.
I'd help him, but I've never seen that fence before. I sat there for a long time, seemed like an hour and questioned the existance of that fence. Well finally I walk over there, Dan is lying on the ground, uncouncious. So I wake him up and the sprinklers went on, so he started getting naked, because he wanted to run through the sprinklers.
That's when we heard the cops coming again. So my last memory is my friend getting naked and me falling over the wall. And the only reason why I remeber falling over the wall is because of a cut on my hand.
So that was Sunday.
Now for a short story:
On Saturday I had a soccer game. I was on the field practising before the game and my stomach was hurting. I wanted to take (Please refrain from swearing). I've never took a (Please refrain from swearing) in a public restroom before. So I went to the bathroom, put a thick cover of toilet paper on the toilet and sat on it. Well, (Please refrain from swearing) it's diarrhea.
So to say it straight, my first (Please refrain from swearing) in a public restroom was liquid. I spent at least half an hour sitting there in pain.
(Please refrain from swearing).
I work at a small company that paints houses for rich people. My boss knows a lot of famous and very rich people and on a way to Los Angeles, she was telling me few stories. One that especially captured my attention was about Mary Fox, wife of the founder of FOX television.
Well, Mrs. Fox lives in a 20 THOUSAND SQUARE FOOT HOUSE((Please refrain from swearing)). That's impressive right ? Well, she lives there alone, and only has furniture in 3 rooms.
(Please refrain from swearing)ing rich people
updates coming soon