i want ask too long why i server is ??? ping and can't join(MY SERVER)

Do you mean YOUR server or some random server from the lobby?

This happens to me, too. I'm almost certain he's saying others can't join because they find his server that he's hosting ??? ping for them, and they're stuck at Joining Game....

After ~2-3 pages of questioning I couldn't find the answer to my comp. so I've given up and left to the fact that my comp. just can't host servers :-S

Do you have a firewall? If you do, try running the server with the firewall disabled.

i tried letting the program run throught my fiore wall,, nothing happened

dude isnt this the same as the post you made here?
http://www.soldatforums.com/topic.asp?topic_id=27485

i gave you a few suggestions in that. it also depends on your net connection speed. and any other apps you have running.