i think its always important to have these on hand. i would expect you brits to be very good at these, especially chakra. any ideas people?

As an outsider, what's your lay opinion about Intelligence?

You poopie fart

as a brit i'm fond of alan partridge. here's one thing (but not the only thing) he says to a certain norfolk (eastern english - bit coutry local if you know what i mean) farmer in his radio interview room.

If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it; You fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother.

unsurprisingly perhaps a few hours later he has a farmer induced accident on a canal bridge with a dropped cow.

read this:
http://www.alan-partridge.co.uk/scripts/imalans01/episode3.htm
its teh awesome!


lol sry had to put this one in too, again to the farmer:

Alan: Well, listen, I'll tell you what the point is. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in, and inside these big sheds are twenty-foot high chickens. Because of all the chemicals you put in them.

[While Alan talks, Peter (the farmer) shakes his head, gathers his stuff together, and goes to leave.]

Alan: And these chickens are scared. They don't know why they're so big. They go "oh why am I so massive?" And they're looking down on all the other little chickens, and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small! do you deny that? [Peter has left] No. His silence, I think, speaks volumes.

You're a load your mother should have swallowed lololololol

its not really what you say its how you say it, like one time I really pissed off a customer when he said he was sick, all I said was "ok" in a flat voice and a blank expression on my face, he sped off mad. another time some kid asked if we had the Arby's over mitt, same tone of voice and expression I said "no" so the kids dad got mad at me for "insulting his son" when all I said was "no" so like I said you can make anything an isult if you say it right.

Arbys kicks ass.

You, sir, are the grease strain on the crotch of humanity.

EDIT: You can also use 'sweaty armpit on the t-shirt' if you prefer.

"grease strain! YES!"

When all else fails, correct their spelling and grammar. Warning, for online use only.

Let me rephrase myself.

That resturant is one that I have had many memorable experiences in. And Stalky, how did you manage to get grease all over humanities crotch?

Wow, you have beautiful children! Where they adopted?

Some of the best ones don't even require speaking. If someone's giving you a hard time in conversation, just stare at their forehead, shoulder, or anywhere a short distance from their eyes. It really annoys people.
EDIT:
"Give me a second series, you sh*t"

oh the abortion backfired :/

"You sir, you are a pansy!" as a start-off

"Foul-Mouthed flax-picker" to wow them with your knowledge of Shakespearean-style insults.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you slept through night-school English class" to wind up/supplement the above, and...

"You should've been a stain on the sheets" to finish it.

Or you could just kick them in the crotch.

For people who didn't speak English as a native language(or whatever native language you speak):

"Congraturations! A winner is you! A winner is you! It is happy end!". Then, when they retort, say "Sorry, I have to leave. Don't feel asleep"

I'd like to thank Ghost and Goblins, Pro Wrestling, and Metal Gear for the NES, because I ripped those lines from the games.

"Congraturations", and "It is happy end" from G&G, "A winner is you" from PW, and "Feel Asleep" from MG.

There was an awesome insult generator I found once, but now I can't find it :(

EDIT: I found it.

Words almost fail me, AerialAssault. You volumous pile of pavement scrapings. Kennel floors are littered with faecal entities more deserving of dignity than yourself. Your vileseome existence nauseates me beyond compare. Even at an elemental level, I know atoms, electrons, nuclei go screaming in horror from your mere presence. I fear that I may be beating about the bush here, and that my message may not be getting through. Imagine a cockroach crawling out of a can of drink you have just been enjoying. That metaphor doesn't even come close to expressing the sheer unmitigated horror, the disgust, the dry retching I must endure at the mere thought that you, sadly, exist. I wonder at your ability to imitate something organic. It is so mindlessly cunning. Personal hygiene. They are not words you are terribly familiar with are they? Still, this ignorance can possibly lead to good. Raise your arm and stick your nose in your armpit. Now breathe deeply. Soon you will lose consciousness. I have, until now, refrained from even mentioning certain aspects of your personal hygiene. Personal growth takes on new and terrible meaning when used in your context. If you once had any redeeming quality, it has been strangled and garrotted by your other brutish traits. You snot-snivelled slimed sluptitious stool. Do you not have any reckoning of the ugliness you have wrought on the world? If everything in this world has some purpose, some grand plan behind its existence, then yours surely is to show everything else, whether it be a slops bucket in a fried chicken stand, or the gunk behind the fridge, how fortunate it is not to be you. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realisation that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

Strumpet thumper.

Just watch Monty Python if you want brit-infused insults.

You know what, You could be the poster child for abortion.

When people get angry at you, look like you're not taking them seriously and try to fit a realistic giggle or fit of laughter in. But Sticky, even though your idea for the eyes is really good, I always found staring at them in the eyes was good.
Another thing is being really polite. Obscenely polite, such as always smiling, giving them your full attention and saying you'll do what they say, but then not doing it at all, or even then doing a slow or half arsed job of it.

Or even better, palm them off to that coworker you hate.

quote:Originally posted by AerialAssaulti think its always important to have these on hand. i would expect you brits to be very good at these, especially chakra. any ideas people?


Lol Chakra cant go on TS for 1 minute with out cussing the server to hell.

Dude: Yur [CENSORED] you [CENSORED]gggg...

You: Wow, that was mature. *wait 10 secs* NOT.

quote:Originally posted by UGKquote:Originally posted by AerialAssaulti think its always important to have these on hand. i would expect you brits to be very good at these, especially chakra. any ideas people?


Lol Chakra cant go on TS for 1 minute with out cussing the server to hell.


If the other team has a seemingly infinite amount of flag campers, I can't blame him.

Dilo22, nice sig, but animated siggies aren't allowed. Avatar ones are though.

that is something Adolf Hitler would say

lol

It's always fun to go in a server and then just start swearing at everything that happens.

get killed=[CENSORED]

kill someone=YA EAT IT BIOTCH

pick up and item=I DIDNT WANT THAT [CENSORED] ASS GUN!!!???

someone talks to you=PISS!!!!!

you get the picture. lmao!

BTw, those are nice, 4 year old! LMFAO

I like when someone gets mad.. 1 letter answers are best. OMFG NOOB. u.

"zomg you nab"

quote:Originally posted by Dilo22lol
BTw, those are nice, 4 year old! LMFAO

are you talking about my sig or what i posted?
and are you talking about:
" oh the abortion backfired :/"
or
"that is something Adolf Hitler would say"

lol I love the idea of staring at the forehead, next time im in a argument im gonna do that :P.

I have a book that actually lets you put together large Shakespearean-style insults from a wide range of offensive words from his works. :P

Although natualy i'm smart enough to know them all without a noobish book *lies*

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/shake_rule.html
A lot/all of these words are in my book.

http://www.mainstrike.com/mstservices/handy/insult.html

quote:Originally posted by n00bfaceYou're a load your mother should have swallowed lololololol


Jesus, you are to kind.

I'm not very fluent in Idiot so please speak very slowly to me....

"You're an inspiration for birth control"

"Your mother cried about not having doughnuts for breakfast...sir"

"you are the reason i am glad i am a virgin"

"I'll remember to save a seat for you in the 'RAPE' section of Hell."

I was laughing at the pool and the rap music thingies!

-------------------------

After god had created the earth and the heavens, lucifer created you


:P