Dear Brad Lidge:

I'd like to thank you for choking at the most crucial part of the game when we could have very easily beaten the Cardinals and be on to the World Series. You really showed no shame out there as you handed the game to St. Louis on a silver platter. I'd also like to thank you for so gracefully bending over and taking it up the ass from Pujohs, I've never seen such a masterfully well done f*ck-up in baseball for a long, long time.

Yours sincerely,
Norris Scott

Dear Norris Scott:

I'd like to tell you that taking a baseball game too seriously begins when you have an emotional attachment to both the players and the outcome of the game. These are not your family nor are they your friends. If you need someone else to make you feel better about yourself, then you are a shallow human being. I'd also like to warn you that, if you met Brad Lidge, he could easily show you what it really means to "take it up the ass."

Yours sincerely,
VijchtiDoodah

Oh, oh, I wanna write a letter!!

Dear Michelin Man:

I'd like to tell you that you are one seriously creepy mass of white tires with eyeballs. Seriously, you freak me the [CENSORED] out and you need to stop doing it. If you need to try and get your kicks by harassing innocent members of the public, I can do little more than seek legal councel to suck your wallet dry before hiring the Ghostbusters to do to you what they did to the Marshmellow Man.

Yous sincerely,
The Geologist

Dear Tamara:

Seeing as you think your boyfriend should be giving you all of his undivided attention, quit your [CENSORED]ing. He only wants you for sex and fresh cookies. I'd also recommend against you wearing those tight miniskirts, as me and my associates highly dislike seeing what you had for breakfast every morning. We'd very much like to keep our lunch whenever you pick up your keys.

Signed,
Captain Ben,
the uncanny relationship angel-pirate.

Haha, Geo, I always thought the Michelin man looked like the Stay-Puff Marshmellow man too!

Dear Michelin Man,

Assuming you're still alive, I would like to inform you of the obliteration of your dog. I am deeply and truly sorry that you ever thought that that thing should have stayed in existence for more than the few seconds it took for you to recover from the shock of it's birth. I hope you can learn that it had to be done.

With Love,
Vash763
The savior of humanity.

quote:Originally posted by VijchtidoodahDear Norris Scott:

I'd like to tell you that taking a baseball game too seriously begins when you have an emotional attachment to both the players and the outcome of the game. These are not your family nor are they your friends. If you need someone else to make you feel better about yourself, then you are a shallow human being. I'd also like to warn you that, if you met Brad Lidge, he could easily show you what it really means to "take it up the ass."

Yours sincerely,
VijchtiDoodah


This is the only time of the year baseball entertains me, considering I come from Houston. I figure it's nothing too bad to sit down for a small portion of the year and cheer my team on.

Considering we've never won a World Series before, much less been to one, I'm pretty sure my dissapointment is a wee bit justified. Brad Lidge blew it in the 9th inning.

Obviously he's a much more talented man then myself, but that's why he's their pitcher--so he can make it through rough spots like that. He didn't, he choked, and he pissed a good number of people off.

I'm pretty sure if you said the same thing you did to me to a diehard Yanks or Sox fan, they'd rip your trachea out and shove it up your ass, thus you too would understand the feeling of taking it up the ass. What I said is barely even the makings of a baseball obsession--and if it was I'd never know what to call some fans. I'm only a casual fan.

Oh, and by the way, I never said they were my family nor my friends. Assuming is a bad thing, buddy.

Admittedly, I laughed when I read Geo's post though XD

Do you ever get streakers in Baseball?

wow people like basball?

yes a man holds the big guitar and swings about a bit. very big apparently.

Norris Scott, you either lack the intelligence to understand sarcasm and my overall point, or you were too bloated with your own ego to properly read what I was saying before you began typing.

dear mr bush,

have a pretzel.

frum: me

Dear FOX,
Bring back Futurama instead of playing this baseball bull[CENSORED].
kthxbie

quote:Originally posted by VijchtidoodahNorris Scott, you either lack the intelligence to understand sarcasm and my overall point, or you were too bloated with your own ego to properly read what I was saying before you began typing.


Vij, I understand sarcasm fine, but perhaps there should be little sarcasm tags to encase what you say in, because with your wording it's rather hard to read the sarcasm. I've ran across trolls before that say things similar to what you said, meaning to offend and not being sarcastic, so perhaps it's not my intelligence that's in question but your wording that is.

I've got no ego, I just read things as they are. Once again with the assuming.

dear condoleeza rice :

UR UGLY LOL

Dear Jesus:
LOL.

dear mr president,
America has too many states these days, i suggest you eliminate 3 of them. i strongly suggest to choose florida as one of the states to eliminate as , dues to its state of underwaterness, the population would be easily picked off.

sincerly,
Taal,
laat spelled backwards.

Taal, my dearest,

...Simpsons, you like to watch and lailol.

From Ben, CAPTAIN BEN.

Dear Vin Diesel,

Hi.

With love,
Oscar Wilde

Dear Oscar Wilde,

fr33 Legal \/ 14gr4

From WHENU - Advertising you want!

Dear Thread,
You sux and should die.

Regards,
roflcake'n'pie

Dear Google:

When I search for failure, George bush's biography is the 2nd result i get. Awsum.

From: Lawl

If you type in Miserable Failure it's the 1st result. Even awesomer.

quote:Originally posted by The Geologist
Dear Michelin Man:

I'd like to tell you that you are one seriously creepy mass of white tires with eyeballs. Seriously, you freak me the [CENSORED] out and you need to stop doing it. If you need to try and get your kicks by harassing innocent members of the public, I can do little more than seek legal councel to suck your wallet dry before hiring the Ghostbusters to do to you what they did to the Marshmellow Man.

Yous sincerely,
The Geologist


Dear The Geologist,

I have been expecting your letter, but it saddens me that you still keep writing me mail. I realise that ever since I stalked around you when you were eight years old you've been hating me. I realise that this is my fault, and I shouldn't have drugged you that night before we played that game with me being the "Submarine" and you being "Dock", however you should seek the professional help of a therapist instead of molesting me with letters. For the love of God, I told you that I'm a married man, and I will not sacrifice my current living for you.
Also, Marshmellow Man is my cousin on my father's side, that's why you see a resemblance between us.

Yours sincerely,
Michelin Man

Dear Michelin Man,
I've heard a surprising amount of rumours saying that you havbe a long lost relative, who surprisingly is the Pilsbury Doughboy.
Is this true, or should I... yeah.

Uncannily,
Captain Ben

P.s. I like biscuits

Dear Captain Ben,
Ive heard rumours of you thinking i watch too much simpsons, well its a lie, you want the truth, you cant handle the truth, bah i deride your truth handiling ability.

Yours forever,
Taal,
The geologists and hugh huffnas love child, despite the fact that the geologist is under 20 and hugh is over 50, and neithers female.

Too bad I'm over 20. Try again next time.

Edit: And stop with the child support motions.

Why do I even struggle to make something funny, if you don't even acknowladge it ;<

Because there's supposed to be a little thing called a restraining order between myself and the Michelin Man. >:(