You're probably asking yourself .. WTF???
But those who are toilet padders, are probably going : OMG I'm NOT ALONE! ;)

I'll start with a description of what a toilet padder is:
Toilet Padder:
A toilet padder is someone who pads (duh) the toilet water with toilet paper for the purpose of avoiding the splashes of water+urine when taking a dump.

Now I never gave it much thought really, not even when I was in the army (where you find out every toilet habbit your comrads has).
But one day, I was in a family dinner in a holyday, and after a nice dinner I went to take a dump, here I was padding the water with toilet paper, when it struck me , why the hell am doing it? I mean, how did I start doing it? what made me?
The first thing that was on my mind, was my mother! I mean, she's the one who tought me all those stuff.
So I aksed my brother (he's 30) and apperently he's doing it as well! the answer was found ofcourse, its our mother who tought us to do so, and I've been automaticly doing it ever since then.

Now I made the same topic in my clan's forum, just to find out that my clan is a self urinating bunch! they DONT PAD the water!
I tried it today, taking a dump without padding the water, I found it horrible!! all the splashes! or water+urine! its disgusting!!!

How can someone sit there while spalshes of urine cover his ass and his A-hole! I don't care if you put your ass through a carwash machine after, its still disgusting!! 5-6 of toilet squares automaticly solve it!

And those self urinating [CENSORED]s in my clan called me a FREAK! for doing so .....how... wierd! they urinate all over themselfs, and I'm a freak? HA!

So I'm asking you, are you or aren't you a Toilet Padder!

The water that splashes up onto your ass is cleaner than what was previously coming out of it. You need to get your priorities straight. :)

I wipe standing, and recently i learned that it is very unsual....I THOUGHT EVERYONE DOES IT

quote:Originally posted by karmazonI wipe standing, and recently i learned that it is very unsual....I THOUGHT EVERYONE DOES IT

hmmm i have to say thats a wvery weird way of doing it. You know whati hate is when the paper gets wet i the water :(

I also stand up then wipe my ass, its jsut to hard to do it otherwise.

Ok, if you're really careful, you can not get splashed. You jest need to..err... try and do a long, continuous log that reaches to the water from your ass!! :D

No, not really that way. You kind of evolve.

Urine is sterile, and you're paranoid.

Yes I admit, I had the water, you dont know how well that toilet flushes...

Also to the people who wipe standing up: HAH! WTF FREAKS

i don't pad

but i too stand and wipe

Jesus! It's almost normal.

I finger myself when the water splashes up and touches my anus.

lol

used to do it... but now i don't use the toilet much

quote:Originally posted by The GeologistUrine is sterile,...


yes it is, but only when its in your body...

quote:Originally posted by Captain BenOk, if you're really careful, you can not get splashed. You jest need to..err... try and do a long, continuous log that reaches to the water from your ass!! :D

No, not really that way. You kind of evolve.
L M F A O.

quote:Originally posted by Sgt. Beaver

yes it is, but only when its in your body...


Yes, if you're a dirty person or you have an infection. If not, then it's perfectly sterile.

quote:Originally posted by Captain BenOk, if you're really careful, you can not get splashed. You jest need to..err... try and do a long, continuous log that reaches to the water from your ass!! :D

No, not really that way. You kind of evolve.

Ok dude, what the [CENSORED] are you talking about?
i've never did the whole padding thing, and i've never had a water splash, not to mention a splash high enough to touch my ass.

/a standing asswhiper

I dont pad, and I sit and wipe my damn ass... :P

Why is everyone mention how they wipe their ass?
I was talking about padding the toilet, before you ever start the damn process of taking a dump.

And I don't believe its possible to not get splashed if you don't pad the toilet.
Unless you have ultra lite [CENSORED].
Or indeed if you control your [CENSORED] that way it becomes long and touches the water slowly and closly.
But that's not always possible, alot of times you have small pieces of [CENSORED] that comes down in high speed ^_^
There are all kind of [CENSORED], rarely you get to control it.
And splashes are eventualy unavoidable if you don't pad the toilet.
I don't care how much urine is sterile, I refuse to cover myself with it you nasty little person you!
Also don't forget after the first piece of [CENSORED], you also add [CENSORED] to the formula.



btw, what's up with this in Phsygo's post: Edited by Michal Marcinkowski - on 24 jun 2005 03:29:08

And look how cute a post with a lot of [CENSORED] in it looks.

quote:Originally posted by The GeologistUrine is sterile, and you're paranoid.

what kind of [CENSORED] wipes their ass while sitting? how do you know when you're done wiping? arent you afraid of getting your hand wet? and i [CENSORED] all the time, ive never heard of this "toilet padding" but it sounds rather rediculous. ive never been splashed before, except when i have diharrea, but then its coming out like a machine gun so theres not much avoiding it.

water level isnt that high that you'd get your hands wet and if you need to see then you lean over and look at ze paper

yus most long word is 5 let.. unit word thing

Because the world needs to know: I never do this toilet padding nonsense, though I do take great delight in using my urine like a deadly beam to shred any floating pieces of toilet paper that were already there. Little bubbles under the paper make great targets. And I wipe sitting down, like any civilized person.

quote:Originally posted by OkWhy is everyone mention how they wipe their ass?
I was talking about padding the toilet, before you ever start the damn process of taking a dump.

And I don't believe its possible to not get splashed if you don't pad the toilet.
Unless you have ultra lite [CENSORED].
Or indeed if you control your [CENSORED] that way it becomes long and touches the water slowly and closly.
But that's not always possible, alot of times you have small pieces of [CENSORED] that comes down in high speed ^_^
There are all kind of [CENSORED], rarely you get to control it.
And splashes are eventualy unavoidable if you don't pad the toilet.
I don't care how much urine is sterile, I refuse to cover myself with it you nasty little person you!
Also don't forget after the first piece of [CENSORED], you also add [CENSORED] to the formula.



btw, what's up with this in Phsygo's post: Edited by Michal Marcinkowski - on 24 jun 2005 03:29:08

And look how cute a post with a lot of [CENSORED] in it looks.


Croikey! It seems that you fore em out rather powerfully. No wonder you get a urine-ie ass.

I'd wipe sitting down, but I'm worried I'd lose my watch.

i have this special toilet seat, well it's like a toilet seat, only higher.. about 12 inches.. that way i can poo the hell out of myself, and still be way above the splash! and, my god, who cares for whiping.. i just bring extra boxers to school..

quote:Originally posted by Ok
And I don't believe its possible to not get splashed if you don't pad the toilet.

well too bad.
just like to add that i've never heard of this toilet padding crap ever.

Same here...never padded and I rarely, rarely get a splash.

Some kind of study said most people wipe sitting down, but that appears to be wrong, here.

I wipe sitting down, and I often put paper in first to avoid the splashback. Nothing worse than having a wet arse in the morning.

Padder:
[x] YES
[ ] NO

Wiping:
[ ] while sitting
[ ] while standing
[x] varies

Lmao interesting topic btw :D

I wipe sitting down and I really only use one tiolet to poo in, unless its an emergency, I had never heard of tiolet padding, and to be honest I think its dumb, until someone shows me documented cases where people have died from germs due to a splashback I will keep on my unpadded ways.
quote:what kind of wipes their ass while sitting? how do you know when you're done wiping? arent you afraid of getting your hand wet? and i all the time, ive never heard of this "toilet padding" but it sounds rather rediculous. ive never been splashed before, except when i have diharrea, but then its coming out like a machine gun so theres not much avoiding it.
Its not hard to tell if your done while sitting, you can always kinda "feel" it when you wipe if something is there, plus securtiy whipes pwn!

well this is officially one of the worse read-while-you-eat places. (?'s last sentence helped making it official)

Glad I can help! *tips his hat*

I whipe while partialy sitting down, I pick up my buttocks a bit.
Then I take the paper forword to have a glanss at it, then I check the amount of brown material on that paper and then determine if I should whipe more.
I also use wet pads, I have a system, toilet papter, then wet pads then toilet paper and my ass is clean and shiny.

P.S about dhairiaa, I had lots of them in my life time, and padding the water does proect you from the splashes.

ALSO think about other advantages! you're a guest at someone's home, and him and his family are sitting quietly in the living room which is very close to the guests toilet.
Every splash you make 'causes noise, if you pad the water you don't have any noise.

Also you avoid ANY splash, even those rate ones you say you barely get.

I see no harm with this habbit of mine, perosanly I consider all the none padders as savages, nasty smelly self urinating savages!
You should all die and let us the more developed part of the human race to carry on.

pfft

people like u result in the destruction of the rainforest go 50% faster!111!1

^^

For once, i agree with Psycho.

And this term, "self urinating". How is that an insult?
Wouldn't self urinating = urinating by yourself?

My potty training tought me to urinate by myself. I'm guessing no potty training for you? Oh and your mom seems to be more than average interested in you and your brother's toilet habits. FFS, you pad because you learn from experience!

I sometimes pad if im laying a big cable.

quote:Originally posted by OkALSO think about other advantages! you're a guest at someone's home, and him and his family are sitting quietly in the living room which is very close to the guests toilet.
Every splash you make 'causes noise, if you pad the water you don't have any noise.

im amazed, you really think it makes very much noise AT ALL? dont think theyd notice the smell? and any possible noise is elminated by the fact that i turn the fan on whenever i use the restroom. your toilet padding is really, really eccentric. its totally unnecissary, its obsessive compulsive. its a little droplet of water with an extremely small amount of piss on it!? how about hold your pee until after you drop the log? :o thats what i do.

i just took a huge [CENSORED]. i did NOT pad. and i wiped while standing because im an american damnit!

what if you're at someones house and you take a dump and it leaves marks all over the bowl :OOOOO

Melba I know it might come as a surprise to you.
But someone actualy tought you what to do in the toilet, you didn't figure it out all by yourself.

Yes they tought me to aim and wipe, and maybe even hold it. But they sure didn't tell me about "toilet techniques". because you develop that when you get older and are a more experienced tolet user ;)
No one has ever told me how to use the bathroom in a loooong time.

why are we having this conversation, by the end of soldat well end up knowing everything about our fellow soldaters :P. i personaly just discoverd wiping standing up, but dont do it nayway, and padding is the worse thing ive ever heard, arnt french toliets made to splash your arse

No I think your thinking of a bidet that you use to wash your anus after pooping :P

quote:Originally posted by 117used to do it... but now i don't use the toilet much

?!
What the hell do you mean by that?

quote:Originally posted by AerialAssault
i just took a huge [CENSORED]. i did NOT pad. and i wiped while standing because im an american damnit!


Sigged.

i still dont understand what you mean by padding

putting toilet paper over the water so when you take a dump it doesnt splash back on your ass

I'm gratefull that my mother tought me that.
And I'm gratefull for any further techniuqes my mother tought me about anything.
Its the parent's job to teach the kid as much as possible so his life will be easier not harder.
It really doesnt matter when she tought me that.
I assume it was around the age of 5, or even 6 I'm not sure.
Personaly I'm gonna teach my kids as much as possible to deal with life, one of that is going to be toilet padding :P
I should call it Toilet's water padding , would be more clear I guess.

dude, why going so emotional over something so useless, pointless, and meaningless, such as PADDING your goddamned TOILET.

Ok i'm trying to be as serious as i can right now. i've always thought you're abit of a weirdo to be honest, but now you really freak me out. do you honestly believe there is no possibility of simply taking a sh!t in a normal way, without splashing yourself like a retard?
goddamnit man, do you pop your neck veins while you sh*t? you dont have to try that hard - eventually it will go down, sooner or later. trust me!

chill out damnit.
and do your kids a favor by letting them dumping their load in any way they feel comfortable with.

I heard people that tiolet pad have small peckers. :O

Btw SuperKill has a good piont, relax its easier that way, and no kid will take everything their parents say to them seriously, especially if they try to pound something like tiolet padding into their head... everyone has free will to poo as they please!

Borderline obsessive compulsive.

I'm taking it too seriously?
Look at your posts, calling names and such.
I'm simply explaining in a logical way why am I doing it.

You're the ones who are taking it too seriously, its a funny topic, about a funny subject.
So relax.
And stop taking it so SERIOUSLY!
If you can't relax enough to talk about [CENSORED], so move to another subject.

TOILET PADDERS UNITE!
NONE TOILET PADDERS TO THE EVOLUTIONAL GARBAGE!

quote:Originally posted by Ok

And those self urinating [CENSORED]s in my clan...



quote:Originally posted by Ok
perosanly I consider all the none padders as savages, nasty smelly self urinating savages!
You should all die and let us the more developed part of the human race to carry on.


You're going to sit here and talk about how we're the ones calling names? What are you smoking? You're one of the most belligerent people in here right now, and yes, you're taking it way too seriously.

Yea, you're explaining it, and then you're demeaning anyone else who doesn't do it. And now you try and turn it all around and tell us that we're the ones taking it to seriously.

Congrats. You're officially backwards.

just to prove how not serious i am;
i changed my mind! toilet padding is the shiz!

Can you pad it with wood chips for a fresh pine scent?

I am serious? Look at my post history... Look at the first damn sentence of my post, and the last part of my last sentence... btw
quote:I'm gratefull that my mother tought me that.
And I'm gratefull for any further techniuqes my mother tought me about anything.
Its the parent's job to teach the kid as much as possible so his life will be easier not harder.

If thats not serious padding talkin' then I dont' know what is....

This topic seems to have gone the wrong direction...

On a lighter note, one of our broken toilets happened to have a mass of toilet paper swirling around in it when I went to use it and, I have to say, that really was a lot better (and quieter, which is nice when you've got company over) than having a little bit of water splash back up on you.

quote:Originally posted by The Geologistquote:Originally posted by Ok

And those self urinating [CENSORED]s in my clan...



quote:Originally posted by Ok
perosanly I consider all the none padders as savages, nasty smelly self urinating savages!
You should all die and let us the more developed part of the human race to carry on.


You're going to sit here and talk about how we're the ones calling names? What are you smoking? You're one of the most belligerent people in here right now, and yes, you're taking it way too seriously.

Yea, you're explaining it, and then you're demeaning anyone else who doesn't do it. And now you try and turn it all around and tell us that we're the ones taking it to seriously.

Congrats. You're officially backwards.


Yes my dear paranoid friend, you took those jokes too seriously as you so clearly just stated.
Now go take a chill pill and go with the flow of stupid talks about [CENSORED].

I'm glad you tried it mr <I will never be able too spell your name>.
Funny and paranoid as it seems, in places where you find the cleanest toilet to be the one with the less [CENSORED] on it, you consider it a priority to now splash yourself with anything from it.

I'm not that bothered with it at home, its just a matter of habbit I guess, I just feel more comfortable. I also noticed that there are other toilets with a smaller area of water in the buttom.
Mine apperently is an old version.
I guess that if you take a [CENSORED] on those new ones, the [CENSORED] hit the toilet itself without reaching the water, and then slides into the water.

Hey who knows, maybe someday I'll be famous for inventing a new toilet :P

Fact: Crap/Crapper comes from the family name of the inventor of the toilet mr John Crapper!
He's an Englishman and invented the toilet for the royal family in those days.

I wouldn't want to be him though, his name is only associated with [CENSORED]e :D
Not the best way to be remembered heh

Also something about how americans call the crapper:
http://www.takeourword.com/TOW152/page2.html

Fact 2: Poop and urine are both waste that your body needs to be desposed off, because its not needed and most of the time its toxic to your body.
Furthermore, preventing [CENSORED]e and urine to cover your skin is not paranoid acts, it has another word its called basic hygiene, even our ancestors did it with leaves.

Why am I the paranoid one, when you're afraid of what comes out of your own body?

Hahahaha, spot on, Geo!

Hahaha. This thread is so awesome.

who cares if toilet water splashes, dont you take your ass off the toilet bowl before you push down the 'flush' button?

its not the flushing water, m00`, its the water that splashes up when you drop a turd in it.

i also remember seeing a documentary and some guy pointed out that americans have higher water levels in their toilets which stops splashback which could account for the americans not doing it.

quote:Originally posted by Milkman Danits not the flushing water, m00`, its the water that splashes up when you drop a turd in it.

i also remember seeing a documentary and some guy pointed out that americans have higher water levels in their toilets which stops splashback which could account for the americans not doing it.


oh lol, well that never happens to me and i dont do that toilet padding stuff

Hehe us Canadians have no concern about splashing water as we have plenty of fresh water to waste so we can fill our toilets to the brink of destructiiooon! >:)

http://www.totallyabsurd.com/toiletsnorkel.htm

quote:Originally posted by m00`
oh lol, well that never happens to me and i dont do that toilet padding stuff


That's because you don't take large, manly dumps.

On a related note, does anyone else stand up and have a look at their [CENSORED] before they flush it?

you people realise you're DEBATING over CRAPPING WAYS?



on another note
this thread is crap!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
I CRAP MYSELF UP!!







AHA AHAHA HAHAH

quote:Originally posted by AerialAssaultOn a related note, does anyone else stand up and have a look at their [CENSORED] before they flush it?


I stand back and admire it. Beauty comes from within.

You all toilet padders... I always take a dump in my backyard xD!!! *lol*
EVERYONE DOES IT! My dog does!

Jee, I made a thread about a stupid topic, hoping to excel atleast at that.
I Guess I'm no match for some of the ppl here :P

I get toilet splashes, no matter what speed my turd goes down, even those small parts splash, its tested and checked.
Alot of times I ran out of toilet paper but realy needed to crap, so I decided to leave the remaining paper for the cleaning part, thus not padding anything.
Splashed my ass all over.

I guess its a matter of the toilet shape and design.

Also I found myself plenty of times, standing and watching my turds, hell sometimes I even enjoy the smell :P
Damn I'm glad I'm a man, most women don't get to enjoy these things we man live for.

Also a note about ass wiping, remember that while you sit down, your ass is spread wide open.
Sometimes you have that little turd that just won't go down and it can only be wiped.
BUT! if you stand up before wiping it, you smash it with both buttocks thus getting [CENSORED]e all over your inner side of the ass.
Wiping it away is a pain in the ass, takes alot of paper and alot of wet wipes, especialy if you have a hairy ass like mine :P

Ok, did you see that line back there? I think you crossed it.

I've found that shaking it like I'm in a conga line before I get off the pot helps remove any cling ons.

Argh Klingons and Dingleberries!! THIS FORUM HAS GONE TO FAR >:(

What is it with the sudden admiration of fecal matter and the impact thereof?

Blame Ok... he seems to be the fuhrer of fecal matter... zing

I consider my toilet time as quality time with myself :)
Its also a great place to do some hard thinking :P

This topic made think of the anal retentiveness.

Ah I forgot to go there.
3 times in my life women tried to convince me to [CENSORED] them in the ass.
I never did it, and I refuse too!
No matter what they say, and I don't care if they clean it with antibiotics!
I will not put my [CENSORED] where she [CENSORED]s from .

quote:Originally posted by VijchtidoodahOk, did you see that line back there? I think you crossed stomped on it.

Pfft, grow up.

Ok, it's just kinda sus how you go into detail. I mean, poo giblets? That's just not right, aight?

I thought this topic was about toilet padding? No one needs to hear your anal sex preferences.

This thread is gonna end up being longer then the "last person to post" thread...

I told my friend about this topic,and it changed his life! He now pads and finds it very useful to do so. I might even try it myself in the near future.

AHA!
Another one to my cult!
please give him this adress:
www.toiletpadders.co.il

and have him registered.
Once I have enough signups! I CAN RULE THE WOR..... erm, I can help humanity :S