..especially when they're pulled on someone extremely stoned at the time. This brings me to my good ol' friend Alan who resides in the lovely Isle of Wight. He's been nothing but kind and caring to me throughout our friendship and yet I still love to pull my most thought-out pranks on him. Here's my most recent.

Today I bought my first FHM magazine in years and this months' issue had a whole load of pages on interesting, cool and addictive websites. After perving at all the girls I flicked to the webpage article and the first one I checked out was Prank Mail, which, after registering, allows you to send e-mails to people under fake addresses, subject lines and names. This immediately got me scheming.

I knew Alan downloaded movies after I explained the whole bit torrent thing to him so I went through some of our recent chat logs, putting the words downloading, download and movie into the search to see if I could find any movies he told me he had downloaded or was downloading. After a couple of minutes I hit the jackpot. Three days ago he told me he was downloading three films, namely: The New World, Memoirs of Geisha and My Sassy Girl. I had the most important part of the prank so all I had to do now was write the e-mail: Quote:Dear Mr. Alan ******** (Censored for obvious reasons)

Whilst monitoring several IP addresses with suspiciously high bandwidth usage in the Isle of Wight it has come to our attention that you have been illegally downloading movies from several Bit-torrent sites. Our records show that some of the most recent are:

The New World
Memoirs of Geisha
My Sassy Girl

This in violation of section 1201-1205 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and will be dealt with accordingly. In cooperation with the Isle of Wight Police BCU we ask you not leave the island until further action is taken. Should you wish to cooperate you may do so by going to your nearest BCU station which is located at Birmingham Road Cowes, PO31 7BH and speaking to Chief Inspector Paul Clark during which you will be properly briefed concerning your illegal actions and our subsequent legal action. Please quote the case number found at the end of the e-mail. As of 19:00 GMT on the 2nd of February 2006 you have 3 days to cooperate.

Your cooperation will be noted and will ensure a reduced sentence/fine when this case is dealt with. Should you choose to do otherwise we will have no choice but to deal with this forcefully which will include arrest, imprisonment and a possible additional fine.

Neil Henderson
Motion Picture Association of America © Piracy Department

Case Number: 3957PD
I actually looked up the site for the Isle of Wight Police, so everything regarding the police in the e-mail is correct. I tried to go through the Digital Millennium Copyright Act to find something about piracy but after the search was unable to find the actual word I gave up and just made it up. I signed onto MSN to find Alan online and immediately hit the send button. Two minutes later this happens: Quote:[19:12:53] dementedpoet: tino///u there?
[19:13:04] Constantin Yo what's up man
[19:13:08] dementedpoet: [CENSORED] man
[19:13:12] Constantin Sorry just about to get some crap for my dad
[19:13:15] Constantin ?
[19:13:22] Constantin What's up?
[19:13:24] dementedpoet: i've been busted
[19:13:31] Constantin How??
[19:13:41] Constantin Are you talking about weed?
[19:13:43] dementedpoet: wait soprry
[19:13:43] Constantin I'm confused
[19:14:00] dementedpoet: i have just received a letter from the
police...been busted for downloading movies
[19:14:07] Constantin LOL
[19:14:10] Constantin Are you serious?
[19:14:13] dementedpoet: Whilst monitoring several IP addresses with
suspiciously high bandwidth usage in the Isle of Wight it
has come to our attention that you have been illegally
downloading movies from several Bit-torrent sites. Our
records show that some of the most recent are:

The New World

Memoirs of Geisha

My Sassy Girl

This in violation of section 1201-1205 of the Digital
Millennium Copyright Act and wi
[19:14:21] Constantin Dude, just forward the e-mail to me
[19:14:31] Constantin I'll be back in like 5 min ok! I promise
[19:14:32] Constantin [CENSORED]..
[19:14:32] Constantin brb
[19:20:13] Constantin ok ok
[19:20:14] Constantin wtf is going on
[19:20:22] Constantin Got the e-mail
[19:20:25] Constantin gimme a sec
[19:21:00] dementedpoet: [CENSORED]in hell
[19:21:23] Constantin Wow [CENSORED] man
[19:21:25] Constantin [CENSORED]
[19:21:33] Constantin Wait, is this a joke?
[19:21:37] dementedpoet: no
[19:21:44] Constantin Wtf are you gonna do??
[19:22:07] dementedpoet: own up
[19:23:15] Constantin [CENSORED]..
[19:23:24] Constantin Apparantly some of these fines can cost
thousands man
[19:23:35] Constantin have you checked the address and everything?
[19:23:36] dementedpoet: yeah i know
[19:23:41] Constantin Are you sure it's not just someone playing a
joke on you?
[19:23:46] dementedpoet: yeah
[19:23:47] dementedpoet: no
[19:23:55] Constantin :/
[19:23:59] Constantin Dunno what to say
[19:24:13] Constantin This sucks man
[19:24:17] Constantin Did you download those movies?
[19:25:19] Constantin You ok?
[19:26:28] dementedpoet: yeah am gonna go to the police station now
[19:26:32] Constantin Really?
[19:26:36] Constantin Dude wait
[19:26:47] Constantin DUUUDE!
[19:26:48] Constantin WAIT
[19:26:53] dementedpoet: why?
[19:27:04] Constantin I'm so evil
[19:27:35] Constantin Sit down man
[19:27:37] dementedpoet: ?
Obviously confused in his current mental state he calls me up and at first all I hear is a bubbler of the words "Dude...[CENSORED]ed...police station...deleted all movies...finding ones on CD...destroy...hid my weed...oh my god!" Although I had hoped it would have gone on for a little longer I didn't want him to go to the police station and bust himself (although I was tempted, god that would have been good), so after calming him down I reassured him that it was all a joke and explained how I got all the information. A brief relieved silence was followed by words such as "[CENSORED], [CENSORED]ing penis faced [CENSORED], [CENSORED], twat!" through which I couldn't help but laugh. Turns out he deleted all the movies he was downloading, including the ones that were already finished and unwatched, cleaned up his flat, hid his weed and was about to take a shower cause he didn't want to go to the police station smelling of it. We continued on MSN: Quote:[19:45:55] dementedpoet: ah man...i my heart ni still pumping hard
[19:45:59] Constantin Hahaha
[19:46:03] dementedpoet: i jammy [CENSORED]
[19:46:05] Constantin God I'm god
[19:46:06] dementedpoet: u
[19:46:07] Constantin *good
[19:46:27] dementedpoet: and i'm like thinking...what have i ever done
to him?
[19:46:32] Constantin Hahaha
[19:46:43] dementedpoet: NOTHING as bad as this
[19:46:47] dementedpoet: lol
[19:46:53] Constantin Hehehe
[19:47:02] Constantin You'll have to think up some crafty plan to get
me back
[19:47:10] Constantin Remember though, I'm not easily fooled ; )
[19:47:28] dementedpoet: well, tino, my darling darling tino...
[19:47:32] Constantin lol
[19:47:43] dementedpoet: you'll be away when the letter to your dad
arrives...
[19:47:47] Constantin Omg
[19:47:51] Constantin You [CENSORED]
[19:47:51] Constantin lol
[19:48:05] dementedpoet: my fragranmt letter with the big red hearts on
it
[19:48:09] Constantin Hahaha
[19:48:36] dementedpoet: but perhaps a year's subscription to a really
fiflthy [CENSORED] porno mag might be better...
[19:48:54] Constantin rofl
[19:49:03] dementedpoet: yes, let's show daddy what his son's private
education has wrought
[19:49:08] Constantin Hahahaha
[19:49:16] dementedpoet: hee hee
[19:49:35] dementedpoet: ah man i could kick u in the nuts
[19:49:42] Constantin Hehehe
[19:49:54] dementedpoet: BUT I AM SOOO [CENSORED]IN RELIEVED
[19:50:07] Constantin Ah man
[19:50:08] dementedpoet: jesus, i just saw my future slip away
[19:50:16] Constantin Iw ould have loved to see your face when you
got the e-mail
[19:50:24] dementedpoet: dude...i went white
[19:50:31] dementedpoet: all the blood drained from my face
[19:50:43] Constantin When you wrote: "tino///u there?" I was like
"Yep, he got the e-mail"
[19:50:49] dementedpoet: lol
[19:50:54] dementedpoet: u jammy [CENSORED]
[19:50:58] Constantin Indeed : P
[19:51:13] dementedpoet: i'd hate u if u werent so goddam sexy
[19:51:28] Constantin lol
[19:51:53] dementedpoet: grrr....u sure got me good
[19:52:01] Constantin Oh I know, I know.. : D
Hehe. Being pretty much the only semi-computer-literate person in my circle of friends does have it's advantages.

hahahahahahah..he calls you tino...ahahaha that's funny.

Haha, way to go.

The only prank I've ever pulled on a friend on drugs was the time my roommate took a [CENSORED]load of peyote. He was freaking out and high as hell so I did the only thing that could be done: I put on a clown mask and chased him around campus while shouting "IIII'MM GOOOIIINGG TOOO GEEETT YOOUUUU!!"

You evil demented twisted barsteward.


..god I love you.

LOL! nice one man

My friend actually got a letter like that, and I mean a letter, like a piece of paper from the US in an envolope with stamps and everything in his mail >_<

OH god ^_^ that's beautiful!!!!
Mind tellign us how did u do that? because I REALLY REALLY want to do that to my friend ^_^
What email did u use? :)
Can you please post your email here or something? so we can use it too?
Oh god this would be so good!
I havea friend with over 100 DVD's full of movies (In Divx!)!!!!! imagin he'll ditch all of them ^_^ oh god.. that would be so evil! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Edit: nvm, I read the whole post.. I shall do it now ^_^

do you EVER talk about something and leave drugs OUT of it?

Gonza, save that petty crap for the bash pit...people like OK around here and you aren't exactly winning anyone over.

This is utterly classic. I too would like to do this to a certain friend of mine, so I might have to get in touch for a little advice...

That's awsome, but I have a request:
stop [CENSORED]ing inviting me to be part of your mobile network. You've done it about 3 times a year for the past 2 and a half years, I've never said yes and don't even know what the hell a mobile network is. Stop. :P

Is it that damn Hi5 Mobile Network bollocks? I can't remember which cock of a friend it was who invited me, but after I registered out of curiosity it sent invites (apparantly from me) to everyone in my contacts.

This happened when I was still sending my course work back and forth to my teachers so my German teacher going to me [i]"So, ja, Constantin, what's zis hi5 invite you sent me?"/i] was a little embaressing. I think he was [CENSORED].

Haha owned.

man its fun to prank friends. all I did was to make a new mail long time ago, pretending to be some lunatic russian guy who was gonna stuff my friend heads first down a garbage disposal.

PAWNED

Hahahaha... nice going!
I wouldn't call it a prank, but its always fun to stick period pads on my friends face and shove tampons up his nose when he's sleeping... He almost shat himself when he saw the photos.

...serve.

 Quote:Originally posted by Captain BenHahahaha... nice going!
I wouldn't call it a prank, but its always fun to stick period pads on my friends face and shove tampons up his nose when he's sleeping... He almost shat himself when he saw the photos.


you have such a large supply

Wait wait wait... you READ FHMs??? What are you... (edit)homosexual???

 Quote:Originally posted by a-4-year-old Quote:Originally posted by Captain BenHahahaha... nice going!
I wouldn't call it a prank, but its always fun to stick period pads on my friends face and shove tampons up his nose when he's sleeping... He almost shat himself when he saw the photos.


you have such a large supply


...It was at a female friends party.

Funny shtuff man

Hahahaha, nice prank Hitman. Altough I'm not in the same weight class, but I will be one day..

.. my favourite prank so far is with mobile phones. All you need is a friend who's in a rather 'abusable' state, his mobile phone and someone who he doesn't want to get a message/call from.

Example:

My cousin, his girlfriend and I went to a party, and they were fussing about how my cousin cheated on her or not ( he didn't. ) I had enough, so I took my cousin's handy, edited my name to a female girl name, and sent him a message from my phone: "I had fun last night... hope to see you soon!" Naturally his girlfriend looked at the phone first, and she smacked the handy to my cousin, and moved towards the door, almost crying.. realising I was taking it too far, I stopped her and told her the situation. They weren't fussing any more that weekend.

Another example: my friend went to a concert, where he met this homley looking chick. However he was moving in on her, until he saw her face, but it was too late then.. the girl had already kissed her. Later that eve, the girl entered her number in my mate's phonebook.
A few days later, when we were stoned, my friend had told me about that event. Clearing out, I asked him how did she save her number, and asked for his phone.. unsuspecting, he gave the handy to me, and two days later he was freaked out that he's being molested by the chick ( I saved my number with the chick's name, and saved her number under my name ). Haha.

i pulled the exact same piracy prank on some friends of mine up here at school, because our school has more students getting sued for file-sharing than any other in the world. they freak out because they know that they could really be getting pinched

Yea its a real pain in the US, they actualy get to ppl's houses...
They say someday it will be like that in the whole world, but I'll probably be a millioner by than .. so I don't mind.

Only kind of prank I pulled like that was fooling my best friend into thinking I got my youth pastors daughter pregnant when I was 15, it supposedly during a youth church meeting in the bathroom, after I releazed the sexy details I told him my dad was kicking me off the computer and I had to do some chores, the next day after school I see him running up to me to find out what happened, so I told him it was a joke :P