I just opened a milk carton, it was easy.

:(

whats with the randomness, go to #bash.pit for that kind of randomness (dear god i'm sorry for advertising)

 Quote:Originally posted by frogboy:(

hahahaha.

 Quote:Originally posted by thekingkittywhats with the randomness, go to #bash.pit for that kind of randomness (dear god i'm sorry for advertising)

We are in the bashpit.

I ate a sandwich today.

In Soviet Russia, milk cartons open you!

lol, i read teh first time: "i opened a milk cartoon."..wtfu?

Well, there was this one time when I had trouble opening a milk carton.

I never had a trouble with that, frogboy your such a retard you should be drug out into the street and shot :D

opening a carton of milk is impossible!'



i say impossible!

What about the time.... in the car(?).... and you had a little accident???

And [CENSORED]ed a dead bird? I remember that! <3 IRC

 Quote:Originally posted by peemonkeyIn Soviet Russia, milk cartons open you!
Wherever did that phrase come from? "In Soviet Russia, Y <verb> X!" :-P

Family guy

 Quote:Russian reversal ("In Soviet Russia")

Yakov Smirnoff's legacy is the ?In Soviet Russia? jokes, or Russian reversal, which frequently appear in many online communities, in particular Slashdot (see Slashdot trolling phenomena and Slashdot subculture). The general form of the Soviet Russia joke is that the subject and objects of a statement are reversed, and ?In Soviet Russia? or something equivalent, is added. For example:

In America, you can catch a cold.
In Soviet Russia, cold catches you!

All of Smirnoff's original ?In Soviet Russia? jokes made use of wordplay that carried Orwellian undertones. For example, in the jokes ?In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!? or ?In America, you check out books at the library. In Soviet Russia, library checks out you!? both punchlines refer to systems of omnipresent surveillance characteristic of police states. The first joke alludes to video screens that both reproduce images and monitor the citizenry, as in Nineteen Eighty-Four. The second joke refers to the use of libraries as another official means to monitor or keep tabs on the thoughts of the citizenry and especially its dissidents, which is uncharacteristic of free societies.

As another example, in the joke ?In California, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you!?, the second use of the noun ?party? denotes the Communist Party. The punchline makes light of the grim Soviet reality that all citizens at all times were subject to the apparatus of the state.

In modern popular culture, ?In Soviet Russia? jokes often lack any Orwellian undertone, and merely make use of a grammatical transposition to achieve some absurd, but apolitical, result.

At the peak of Smirnoff's celebrity in the mid-1980s, he did not say ?Soviet Russia? ? he said ?Russia,? as the Russian Socialist Federated Soviet Republic had been around since 1917, was still extant, and showed no signs of imminent collapse. Smirnoff added the ?Soviet? qualifier after the fall of the USSR, long after his fame had faded, to specify that he was referring to the communist regime and not the present state.

Many modern variants on the ?Soviet Russia? theme do not make sense, for example: ?In Soviet Russia, floor rolls on YOU!!? Or even:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
In Soviet Russia
Poem writes YOU!

[edit]

Occurrence of "In Soviet Russia" jokes on television

In a Family Guy episode, Peter Griffin plays around with his car's navigation system, and turns it to ?Yakov Smirnoff Mode?. The navigation system says, ?In Soviet Russia, car drives you!? Later in that episode, it says, ?Turn right at fork in road. In Soviet Russia, road forks you!? (The comment made by Peter Griffin: ?Boy, is that getting old.?)

In an episode of King of the Hill titled ?The Bluegrass Is Always Greener? in which they go to Branson for a bluegrass festival, Bobby sells a Soviet Russia joke to Yakov. The joke is: In America you put ?In God we trust? on your money, in Russia, we have no money! Similar versions on other comedy shows have used the line ?You put people's pictures? instead of ?In God we trust?. Also compare with Will Rogers' comment, ?In Russia, they ain't got no income tax. But they ain't got no income!?

In the eighth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Crow T. Robot invited Yakov Smirnoff (actually played by a member of the MST3K production team) to lecture on the film Jack Frost, a Russo-Finnish co-production. Predictably, Smirnoff's ?lecture? degenerated into a sequence of unrelated ?In Soviet Russia? jokes: ?In your country, you watch movie The Rock. In our country, we break rock in gulag.?

In the Futurama episode ?That's Lobstertainment!?, Doctor Zoidberg does stand-up on Amateur Night at the Apollo. He makes the joke: ?Earth. What a planet. On Earth, you enjoy eating a tasty clam. On my planet, clams enjoy eating a tasty you.?. In another episode, ?Crimes of the Hot?, Philip J. Fry, while standing in front of a giant ice crusher, says: ?Wow! That ice dispenser is so big, the ice crushes you! ? Yakov Smirnoff said it.?

On The Simpsons episode ?The Old Man and the Key?, Smirnoff introduces himself with the joke when he appears in a stage musical celebrating entertainment industry ?has beens?. The chorus sings about all the remnants of 1980s pop culture present, ending with ?So sit back, relax and watch our revue,? to which Smirnoff adds ?In Soviet Union, revue watches you!?

wikipedia.

OPUN KARTEN

EEXXXPLOOSIVVE CAARRTONNNNN

DEFEND THE MOTHERLAND!

 Quote:Originally posted by Ville Mk.2I just opened a milk carton, it was easy.


me too :D lets help frogboy open one.............ROFL xD

ROFL LOLF FUNYNAYTN FLFOL

 Quote:Originally posted by papasurf31OPUN KARTEN

RECIEV MLKI

FIANLY!!L!

'cause i heard someone said weeaboo!!!

ooo, wrong famcsdhkapr4189ud234dt

b00sta rapes faces.

no..faces rapes b00sta :P smirnoff said it :P

Actually, it said Smirnoff. Get it? XD LAUGH DAMNIT

*laughs* then runs away

*doesnt get it*