Most people who have been involved in online communities know about bars. ;) . It's a bar :P kinda roll playing stuff.

come in! have drinks! beat eachother up!! it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... then it's a sport...

anyways... onward! (this is like those battle threads, got it? good)

Anyone who is killed respawns al la Soldat
---------------

*Social Poison walks into the bar*
*Looks around... no one :P*

*Sits down at the bar, reaches over, and grabs a triple black.

*changes jukebox to: The *Ataris - So Long Astoria*

(moved to bash pit - NC [:P])

(walks in behind sp and gets to work being the bartend)

Hey sp u gonna pay for that or u wanna tab?

*Then M enters the Bar with a gun and says: Everyone on the ground. But everyone takes out guns. And M: Ooops wrong bar. That was the Unreal bar.

*Cargan walks to the back of the building that the bar is in.*
"What the... I want to go in the bar!" He [:-banghead] And broke the wall after an hour. "Finally! I'm almost dead! I'm in the Storage Room, at least I can take some beer without paying." *someone comes to the Storage Room* "[:-censored] I frogot that in the Soldat bar things are like in a regular mode." *The Guy (it dosen't matter who he is) shoots KWCargan with a M79. Everything was destroyed* The Guy: " [:-censored] ! The boss is gonna kill me!" *Cargan respawns at the entrance to the bar*

b00stA arrives with a big truck full of beer to restock the bar's storage room.
Because it's so annoying to drive a truck with laser sight on (ya, just imagine this.. :P) he drinks something and the result is he sees multiple laser sights. After having delivered the beer, b00stA drives away but he's so drunk and the laser sights confuse him so he accidentally drives into the storage room of the bar and dies.

*spawn*

PS: That's the reason why I dont like vehicles in Soldat.

*Tha Doggfather enters the bar, everyone looks at him and is quiet, famous western music can be heard*

*steps over to the jukebox and changes the awfull song to Snoop Dogg "Just Dippin", goes and sit at the bar and orders a beer*

*comes infront of the bar and looks around... "Soldat Bar" huh?*
*Goes inside, sees ppl, he sp & other, hears snoop playin in the crappy jukebox*
DAMNNNNNNNN that [:-censored] is old *blows the jukebox with m79 and whistles to 2 guys who brings in
600 W speakers and a Hi-Fi system, puts in an Umek CD and puts it up BANGING!!!!!*
YEA BABY
*goes to the bar and orders a Double CC (canadian club + coca cola)*
*waits for chicks&drink to arrive*

Then M spawned somewhere after blowed by the Unreal guns. Goes to the next weapon shop. Buys a reedmeer and goes to the unreal bar. From a safe distance fires at it and the whole bar blows and there are guts, weapons, drinks and ugh things flying around. Then the unreal player spawn near me and they blow the hell out of me. The one Unreal guy is saying: Go back to Soldat. Then M spawns near the Ejay bar and says: Uhhhh i need a drink. Enters it and the music blows my ears. Then M starts to throw grenades at the whole bar so Ejay bar blows. Then M founds the Soldat bar atleast and enters in it. Again music. Then M freaked out and takes the 600 W speakers and a Hi-Fi system and throws it away. Then M goes to the bar and orders a Ice tea. But someone put me a drug inside so M stand up and brings inside double 1200W surround with a large music system and starts P.O.D . So the whole bar explodes and nothing is left from the bar. Then M spawns back to the game and starts to kick some asses.
The End.

::walks into bar::
::spawns::
::walks into bar::
::spawns::
::shoots dorr, walks into bar "Damn bugs"::
::to the bartender " to many bugs, man-need a fix::
;)

*Bar Respawns (haha M)*

*looks at Bob*
I have no intntion on paying for this!

*looks over at the new stereo system*
*looks back at mr bob. Or rather... Mr bob's SPAS*

.....

*respawn*
*walks back over to bar stool*
*wipes blood off*

Just put it on my tab... and Zombie!! Make it snappy!

*enter the bar and shout "FIGHT !! FIGHT !!!!!!"

*runs over and starts beating the stuffing out of SuperKill*

*Cargan puts on magicians clothes.* "And now presenting the one the only 'Cargan The Bunny Eater' and magician" *takes off his top hat, pulls out a rabbit and eats it* "Delicios things. I like 'Cute Bunny's the most. Come up, it costs only 9$ per person for the whole show and it's for free for part of the show. Who would like to be the first?"

*comes in and takes a couple of shots*
*ask for something to eat and get's some spam wtf?!?*
"I don't want this crap"
*ate it anyway was hungry from going Kamikaze on ppl on soldat*
*drunkenly says*
"Hey why do ppl blow up bars and shoot ppl just tell me why?!?"
*next thing are bar brawl erupts behind Kamikaze Ninja*
"Could you guys pls. STFU!!! im trying to eat some SPAM here."
*they look at him with a blank stare for a few seconds and go back to fighting*
"Screw this man"
*throws combat knives at em so they'd have to respawn and think of what they're doing*
"Well back to soldat"
*Walks away in a sort of drunken stagger*
"BTW I'll be back soon"

*Cargan takes a knife out of nowhere and throws in Kamikazie Ninja's back* "That was a demonstration of one of my magic tricks. And now I'm going to make this whole bar blow up with just one weapon. An M79." this part has been censored due to "some" goreness as a big bunch of mad soldiers fight in a bar.

*walks back in stabs Cargan in the head then walks back to go to soldat*
"WTF is wrong with you i'm about to leave and you throw a knife at me go away leave me in piece" lol

*Walks into bar*

*Looks around*

*Sneezes*

*Sees Superkill being horribly beaten by SP and can't miss out on the opportunity*

*Punch Punch, Combat Knife, Chainsaw, Punch, LAW, pun......LAW?!? WTF?*

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

*Walks in bar and sees a bunch of fighting ppl*
"hmm, all I have is a socom, I need something to blow them up with"
*buys the cheapest bottle of beer available, dumps it out, siphons gas into it, finds a rag and sticks it in. Voila, Molotov cocktail*
*lights the rag and tosses it at fighting ppl*
*ppl catch on fire and run around screaming*

*respawns from Sauron's LAW shot*

FEAR ME FOR iI AM ALL THINGS N00B!!

*pulls out minigun and has a chainsaw on his back*

*stands in front of Sauron and starts to unload the minigun*
*sauron reloads his gun and shoots SP because the minigun point blank thing just doesn't work*

*respawns*

*Sits back at bar and gets a "Hard Mike's Lemonade"*

*Enjoy climbs out of his El Camino, trips, and cuts his knees and hands...what a loser*

*He dries the tears from his eyes, and walks into the bar, where everyone looks up for a second, then looks back to their drinks*

*Sits down next to SP, and orders a root beer (he had to keep his mommie's promise...) and drinks quietly, while SP jumps from his seat and attacks anyone he can*

*Keeps to his own, until he is hit in the head by an m79 grenade...luckily, he had his helmet on, and it bounces off of his helmet, somehow not exploding, and lands on top of one of M's prized comics, therefore destroying it! (huuurrraaa!!!)*

*Gets up, walks onto stage, and begins singing some '80's love song, which he knows the Soldat faithful have a love for beneath the mask of lies they try to put up.[:D]*

*After a minute, Tha Doggfather takes out his overused barrett and blows Enjoy's brains out...*

*The people are saddened and happy at once.*

*Shoots Bartender in face with Socom steals pint of jack walks out to car and mixes it in a glass with some coke and gets drunk off his ass*

"Blade enters and sits on a chair polishing his M79."

*punch SP thru the guts and SP dies (yah respawn..how lame)

*throws a cluster and leaves.

*Gets killed by SK... twice!!*

*respawns*
*respawns*

*Pulls out his "ultra-noob-2000" rocket launcher and fires a shot at SK as he walks throught the door. The shot sreams past SK and blows up Enjoy's El Camino :( . The kick back however sends SP through the bar*

*SP slams through the bar*
*Slams into the lower corner of the wall and floor*
*slips in between the wall and floor (al la Soldat bug)*

{Muffled} heeeelllp!!!

/kill
*blood seeps out from wall, then disapears (for respawn)*

*respawns*
*sits back at bar (respawned bar, of course)*
*picks up the broken bottle of Mike's and looks at it saddened*
*gets another one from barkeep and sips it thoughtfully*

Then M enters inside the bar with Michalium 5 laptop and start to sell it to people.

*CbbLe drinks up all alcohol, picks up all girls and then leaves...leaving only a bar full of sweaty computernerds blowing eachother up =)*

*While serveing drinks and dogeing bullets gets killed twice and re spawned with no bottles*
*waits a while and then the bottles of jack and rum appar*
says to sp "so how will u be paying while holding the spas to his head"
*then outta no where a voice says "sp has three choices either pay by money, tab or get shot in the head with a spas and respawn and have to start all over again"

Then M mad that noone wanne buy Michalium takes the M79 from blade and blows everyone and the ba explodes. Then M spawns near the Unreal bar.
M: No not again.

Blade repawns seeing that the bar respawns with him walks in and takes out his sniper, Then drops it, picks it up again, and drops it. STUPID GUN BUG!!!

Blade leaves the bar due to the Gun Glitch and is set to return on Friday, ALL THE ALCOHOLICS SHUDDER. On the street Blade sees M being cornered by impact hammers. Blade laughs and continues as he hears lots of impact hammers tearing into a lifeless body.

*respawns*

Wtf? Where the hell am I? GODDAMN PARACHUTES!

*floats to ground slower than he would like*

Right, thats it.

C:\Soldat 1.0.5b\Soldat.exe

C:\Reload Trainer.exe

*Pulls out M79 and walks into the bar*

Come get some, bitches!

*VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

*spawn*
*Enter the bar and sit on a chair, loading my shotgun.*
*Drop the shotgun (who said there was a gun bug?) who accidentaly discharge, killing the bartender (oups...)*
*Start to run toward the exit but i'am stopped by the bartender's M79 who just respawned*
*Boom! (ouch...)*
*respawn*
*Reenter the bar and order something strong, wishing it will cure my headache*

Then M spawns mad at Unreal. Then M fires a reedmeer and blows Atari so they can't create Ut anymore. Wahahaha. (Not in real life cause i am also a bad fan for UT)

*NC enters the bar, unaware of what has previously taken place here...*

*walks over to the bar, asks mr. bob for a Fanta?*

^_^

"HAR"

*sticks hand in pocket and gets wallet*
*looks inside... moth drifts out*

hmmm......

*points toward ceiling*
Ninja, look!! A Distraction!!
*ninja looks up*
*SP pick pockets ninja*
*pays for tab with ninja's cash*

LOOK ANOTHER ONE!!

*puts ninja's wallet back in his pocket*
*whistles innocently to self*

*All stare at the swinging double doors as cowboy music begins to play all anxiously awaiting a rough cowboy to walk through the door*

*the crowd murmurs amongst themselves*
crowd: is it really him? has he come back once again? I'm actually not a cabbage i'm just a head of lettuce. (lol,jk)

*then out of nowhere, a guy with a huge letter R on his shirt falls through the roof*

R: i couldnt get the swinging doors open,had to use the roof ;)
crowd: who the hell are you?
R: uhh......right...........*silently steps toward the bar and all begin to sip their drinks again*
*i ask bartender* do you have a bathroom here?
bartender:no
* i silently take a /piss in the cornere of room cause there are no bathrooms, order a strawberry margarita, and sit down contemplating the meaning of the letter R*

*Since the money that SP stole was from Ninja it was merely play money as ninja actually hides it somewhere in which only he can find it he merely took a bogus wallet out*

*NC points out to everyone that they are all actually at the bar from Star Wars with the Cantina music playing in the background... Not to mention all the aliens...*

Strangly enough, it is the humans who look the most out of place here...

SMASH!!!

*kami decides to go berko and smash a bottle over the head of an alien that looks like a banana*

BAR FIGHT!!!!!

*Comes to the bar and orders a cabbadge. Then Mr bob didn't wanted to say there weren't any cabbadges and takes NC cooks and gives to me. Then M eats NC and get out of the bar.*

Blade returns early...Looks at the aliens and leaves....Then comes back with the unreal bar and kills all the aliens.

*CuBiTuS respawn, being "accidentally" (?) blew off by Blade and his Unreal Bar friends*
*Angry because still having his headache from his last spawn, he charges up his back-mounted-Ultimate-dung-launcher-2000, says "Moo" and fires (remember, i'm a psychopat cow :) )*
*Those who doesn't die instantly starts screaming because of the intense smell*
*Satisfied, CuBiTuS wipes off the blood off his bar stool, sits and asks for a salad*

Luckily Blade blew the bar up from the outside so he doesn't die or smell anything, Blade then goes up to Psychopath Cow and tips him and watches him struggle to get up. When he finally does he tips him again. Psychopath Cow is unable to get up and finally dies. Blade then goes behind the bar and acts as the new bartender(due to the old ones death)

*A little boy and his mom walk by the bar* "Mommy,", says the little boy, "What's going on in there?", "Well,", says his mommy, "It's a bar full of drunk people." "Oh, [:-ashamed] I thought that there were Soldat People there." "What makes you say that?" "It says on the entrance 'Soldat Bar'." Meanwhile in the bar... Everyone is busy killing each other that Cargan decided to just hide (somewhere) and starts sniping at everyone with a big supply of knives and a barret.

Luckily Blade is behind the bar, so he is protected by the bullet proof glass. Blade notices Cargan across the street and sends dogs after him. all blade hears is a gun shot, and a dog falling to the floor, then a knife piercing the skin of another dog but finally the rest of the dogs reach him and eat his body piece by piece.

*R finally figures out the meaning of R! but as he is about to speak it he gets shot in the head from a barret bullet*

*respawn*

R: wha?? wat just happened??? the meaning of R?! i dont remember it anymore!!! damn you alll!!!!!!

*gets extremely angry, turns into soldat/hulk type of thing and starts smashing everyone and everything in site*

Luckily Blade isn't in sight of the R Hulk so he watches as the bar is torn up.

*Respawn*
*CuBiTuS enters the bar and sees R smashing everything up. He then throw a cluster 'nade at R and waits for the bar to respawn*
*Once the bar respawned, CuBiTuS goes to the bar and asks (again) for a salad and not to be blew off (damn headache... :) )*

*respawn*

R: wtf?why do i only have purple pants on??
*blushes*
*runs out of store to get clothes*
*comes back with clothes*
R:bartender, i'll have a strawberry margarita again
bartender: were out of strawberry
R: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sits and cries in corner of room*

Blade then makes a rasberry Margarita and gives it to R. R doesn't no the difference due to his restart of senses(when he respawned) So R drinks happily.

*Still waiting for his salad, CuBiTuS receives an admin message letting him know that salads are not allowed in this bar*
*Raging against this rule, CuBiTuS turn around and kills every living thing*
*Turn back to the bartender and orders some corn flakes*

Blade brings corn flakes to Cube but when Cube starts eating his bowl suddenly blows up taking his head with it. Blade begins to chuckle while holding a grenade pin. Goes behing the bar and begins drinking.

*Respawn*
*CuBiTuS goes to the nearest drugstore to buy Aspirin*
*Message from admin : "Aspirins are not allowed here..."*
*Buys ASA (acetyl-salicilic acid, well, aspirins...) instead*
*Enters the bar, sits far away from the bartender and get a thermos out of his pocket and start drinking. This way, Blade won't be able to hide a grenade in his drink*

hmm Blade ponders... HOW? hmm.... !!!!. Blade slowly walks up to Cube and Begins to shuffle something in his pocket. Finally he pulls it out. It's a Knife. He throws the knife into Cube's back and takes his thrmos and pours it down his shirt. Then throws Cube off of the bar's rooftop but Cube automaticly used the Chute, "DANG IT" as Cube lays there barly alive Blade pulls out, an M79 and Blows his body to bits.

Cube then respawns right in front of Blade and pulls out a gun. Blade calls a truce and gives Cube a drink. They go inside the bar and Blade Becomes the bartender once again.

*respawn*

*grabs bottle*

*comtemplates*

*drops bottle, pulls out combat knife, puts it inbetween teeth and grabs a spas shotgun*

"Oi, lads, don't start a figth without me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

*boom, chick chick, boom, chick chick, boom......*

*respawn*

"Damned cluster grenades"

*CuBiTuS asks for a 40oz of cognac*
*After having drank half of the bottle, he realises that cows and cognac don't go together when he falls asleep on the bar (missing all the action :( )*

*sips margarita quietly in corner of room*
*but then realizes that blade has tricked him!!!*
*R storms up to blade (who is now the bartender)*

R: You tricked me this was not strawberry this was rasberry!!!!!!!!
Blade: but it was good wasnt it?
R: quite, actually! I just came up here so fast i had to ask you the recipe to this!!Its fan-freaking-tastic!!

*R learns the secret of the magnificent raspberry margareta and once again sits down drinking a new margarita and begins, once again, to ponder the meaning of R*

*Kamikaze Ninja came back for a bunch of drinks and is currently passed out on the floor with his Katana*

*respawns after a 30 sec respawn time*

"damn spawn times take too damn long is there server admin in here"
"oh well im out guys damn respawn times are too long"
"oh yeah thanks blade for takeing my job im out bye"
*drops guns and dissapears*

*Then M go to the bar and orderes a whiskey.*

*Then M reallise that Blade put a nade in the whiskey so M takes the nade and trhows it to blade and blade explodes.
*THen M hears R saying euRRRRRRRReka that he found the meaining of R. Then M fires with a sniper at R and R blows up so he forget the meaning of R.*
*Then M sees a cow in ht eroom and says. Buzz of no animals in this bar. And M fires with M79 and Cubus explodes and give us some cow meet.*
*Then M starts to be a bartender and writes a message cow Barbeque.*

*Respawn*
*CuBiTuS wakes up in the middle of the road and jump just in time to save his meat from an eighteen-weeler coming at full speed*
*Looks around for the bar, sees it and read the message "Today's Special : Cow Barbecue". "Fine, i'm hungry." he says. "But Hey! I AM a cow!". He then take a couple of cluster 'nades, throw them tru the door and waits for the bar to respawn.*
*After the bar respawned, CuBiTuS walks in and start to bartend, allowing animals to come in*
*He then take some pencils and change the message to "Bar speciality : alcoholic beverages made from 100% pure milk*

*Kamikaze Ninja currently still passed out*

*walks over and kicks ninja softly in his side*
*ninja doesn't move*
*kick's ninja a littleharder*
*ninja doesn't move*
*SP walks to the far side of the bar and turns around*
EARRGHH!!!
*takes off at ninja running full speed*
*SP tries to kick ninja with off his his might but ninja burps and falls to one side, thowing off SP's aim*
*SP puts his foot throught he wall*

DAMN!

*Pulls out foot*
*kick's ninja again and takes his drink*

*changes stereo to "MxPx - The Ever Passing Moment"

*walks in*
"Soy milk and cookies please, I am lactose intolerant... *snort*"

*Gives some tools and plaster to SP so he can repair the wall*
*Asks if anyone know how to do soy milk out of soy beans*
*Finds some eatable cookies in the kitchens and places them in a plate*
*Shoot the plate to the bar*
*The plate slips to on the shiny surface, bump into ninja's head and stops right in front of xXShavoXx*

*Psycho walks in with pimp close on lookin so stylish* *Goes behind bar and using the combat knife slits the bartenders throat* *Takes all the beer he can find and leaves bar* *Once a safe distant away pulls an pulls out a gernade* "Take this muhahahahaha" *throws it but do to lag it explodes in his face* "stupid lag this ALWAYS HAPPENS" *respawns and goes back in with more gernades* "It's gotta work this time"

*quickly repairs the wall*
*Runs over to Psycho and does a bike kick, knocking him up in the air*
*Pulls out DEs*

Let's rock!!
(Devil May Cry fans will know that one)

*starts unloading shots into Psycho, juggeling him in the air*
*after a few minutes of this he lets Psycho drop to the floor*
*Pulls out a great sword and tacks Psycho to the floor with it*

Try an nade me now, BIATCH!!!

*walks back over to bar and resumes drinking*

R: The meaning of R!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I forgot it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!

*turns into R hulk once again but this time instead of wanting to smash things R hulk wants a strawberry margarita*

R hulk: Me want strawbrry Margarita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*coughs faintly and sneezes, whiping the excess phlegm off of his shirt*
"Umm... bartender? I think you put a little to much sugar in this cookie..."
"And this milk tastes like goats milk... sir."
*whimper whimper*

*wakes up repeated hits on the head causing an irritating ringing to his head worse than a hangeover*

*he then goes on a drunken rampage and starts killing ppl with his prized Katana*

*everyone respawns and he goes back to hibernation*

*M respawns and goes to the bar and drops a bomb. Then the bar explodes and waits to be respawned. Oh damn the repsawn limit is set to million days. Well no more bar.*

*notices m using a weapon thats not part of soldat*
::Player [{M}] was kicked by console::
*walks through front door*
*sits down at bar and orders a box of orange juice*
*notices bar tender is mr. bob, quickly whips out a knife and implants it into his face.*
*noticing that i walked in late and score is high*
*/map soldatbar*
::spawn::
*walks up to new juke box*
*plays jitterbug by WHAM just to piss people off*

*Respawns* walks towards the bar but notices a Psycho pinned to the ground. Blade quickly takes the Catana out of this arm and then as Psycho attempts to get up shoves it right back into his Head. Killing him instintely. Then continues to walk towards the bar. Looks inside and sees 5 foot juice boxes walking around so he pulls out his Minigun and walks in and starts shooting at the juice box. Then when i finish shooting I notice that I didn't kill the juice box, but rather every1 else. DAM MINI GUN ACCURACY!!! I pull out my chainsaw and make short work of that juice box.

*Respawns* *walks into bar pulls out a ruger and blows blades brains all over the wall* "that sword hurt man" *Walks back out of bar to get a CD player from trunk of car* *He places it down and takes out a CD* "Dance Mix 2000 always cheers me up" *Puts it on and turns the volume up to full* *Aboout to go back to bar when he fells the need to dance* " EVERYBODY DANCE!!" *then he starts dancing in a crazy manner hitting beer off tables and tripping over chair legs.....but he never stops dancing*

*begins sneezing very violently and runs out the door crying*
You'll all be very sorry!!! I HATE YOUR FOOD!
*whimper whimper*

*Tscherno arrives with 20 Nice Lookin Chicks in Front of the Bar, Loads his SPAS, and enters trough tha Front Door of the Bar with all tha chicks behind.

*Tscherno say`s "Whaddup"

Blade Respawns, looks at psycho and watches as he fleas. Takes a sniper rifle and from 60 feet away snipes him in the head. Then notices Tscherno standing with a spas, walks up to him and hands him some corn flakes(Cube will remember this one), and then turns away holding the pin of a grenade. Watches as tscherno blows into pieces and then takes the chicks and spreads em around, "theres enough for every1". "HOORAY" the alcoholics yell. And Blade's name was remembered threw time.

Then M comes back and starts a trainer with all guns and unlimited ammo. But forgots about the anti cheat and M dissapeared.

*comes back and realizes that this thread is GREEEAAT for spam*
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM
SPAM

*leaves*

"Bartender, get me a double whiskey"

*slides across bar*

"I wish people would stop killing.....respawning gives me a headache"

*respawns* *angry of being shot and stabbed......repeately psycho decides to get revenge* *goes up to social poison at the bar, takes out a gernade, pulls the pin and drops it down his shirt* *then after the explosion he goes to blade grabs an m79 off the ground a shoots it at blade* *to do bad aim though he misses hitting R in the head* * Tries again but at close range with sniper......it works blades head is now rolling around on the floor* Psycho:"hahahahahahahahahaha revenge is mine" *He then go's up to the bar* Psycho:"I want a whiskey to go wtih my huge STEAK i have" * Psycho takes his whiskey and starts to eat his huge steak slowly savering every bite of it* Psycho:"STEAK IS GOOD!!!!"

*respawns*

*panting*
You... messed... with the wrong Poison you f*cking n00b

*Pulls out AUG and starts to run at Psycho, guns a' blazin'.*
*Psycho turns to SP and fires his weapon at him*
*SP jumps the lousy shot and continues to pump Psycho full of lead*
*after a neat front flip with a half twist he lands on the bar*
*AUG is out of ammo and Psycho has a sliver of life left*

Dam.mit why'd they turn the damage down on this thing

Pulls out combat knife and throws it into Psychos chest

*picks up chainsaw off floor*
*starts to spawn kill Psycho*

*still currently passed out as someone got killed with his own catana meanwhile Kamikaze Ninja is still holding his KATANA*

*/piss on Kamakazi Ninja's passed out body*

Blade respawns and walks into the bar and sees SP spawning Psycho. Walks over to him and lets him take a break and takes the chain from him. Psycho gets up, Pyscho goes down. The never ending cycle.

*Then M goes to Blade and see him spawn kill psicho. Then M starts a vote kick and kicks Blade. Then M takes the chainsaw and starts to spawn kill Psycho. WOW alot of fun.*

*Cargan continues to snipe at everyone with a barret and throws nades*
"look! a UFO!", someone shouts looking at Cargan.

*Cargan looks up expecting to see a flying saucer*
*SP throws Ninja's Katana at Cargan*

Bored of spawn killing Psycho calls Social Posion and tells him.
M: Hold this chainsaw i need to go to the toilet.
Social: Yes.
Then M goes out leaving Social to spawn kill Psycho.

"Would you guys stop killing each other? Bars are here to relax..."

*drinks more whickey*

"Aaaah thats good sh*t"

*lights a cigar and has a few drags*

"Dammit, would you guys STFU! I wanna rest! Hold on, wtf is that?"

*Grabs rambo bow and fires a flame arrow at the far wall to quiet everyone*

"He started it" pointing to psycho. Since he came he's braught nothing but DEATH!!! (to himself)

*b4 sp could actually piss on KN he did his taunt alt+6 (brutalkill)*

*respawn goes back to bar and drinks some sake then goes back and passes out once again*

*if anyone as much as get a few feet close there will be a shuriken implanted in their forehead* (sorry ninja reflexes)

*starts to walk back toward ninja but thinks better of it*
*walks over to Sauron and sits down next to him*
eh... ok... Perhaps calming down right now woul*dn't be such a bad plan

*gets cinimon shnapps from the bar, poors it into a shallow class, and sips it calmly for a while*

*respawns*
*felling like he's about to die he just stands there but when not killed he goes into bar*
*seeing everyone talking a drinking disgusts psycho* Psycho:"come on keep fighting" *when no one resonds he decides to take action* Psycho:"alright u asked for it" * pulls out mini* psycho:"muhahahahaha" *unloads his mini into everyone* *still not done walks up to the body of blade(still alive....barely)
*pulls gernade out a shoves in his mouth and tapes it there*
*then goes to SP and M* *pulls out a combat knife a stabs both a couple of times*
*throws few more gernades in bar*
*leaves bar*
*watches the gernades go off* Psycho:" now thats fun"
*waits for bar to respond then goes to bar and continues eatting steak*
Psycho:"SO TASTY!!"

*Bar respawns and everyone goes back to their drinking*

Why is he so violent?

R: damnit i'm not even gunna try to find the meaning of R anymore!

*orders strawberry margareta, gets a raspberry one, and sips contentedly*

*respawns*
*throws his dagger into psycho's back for waking his ARSE up!!*
*goes take a couple of drinks of sake*
*goes back to sleep*

*M respawns and says.*
M: What happend?
*Then M rellises and mad throws 10 clusters at psycho watching psicho flying around.*
*Then M enters in the cafe and orderes a coke mixed with wine.

Coke and wine?... intersting mix drink...

*respawns*
*walks into bar holding combat knife*
*goes behind Social Posion preparing to stab him*
*instead sits down next to him and uses the knife to cut his BIG STEAK*
Psycho:"IT'S SO GOOD!![:D][:D]"

*smells steak orders one for himself*
*eats it*
*goes back to sleep*

*Respawn*
*Smells the steak*
*Gets in a fury and starts killing everyone who eat steak*
*Fills a complaint because people are eating his friends*
*Looks at the steak and says "Poor Jack, i knew he would end up being a steak someday..."*
*Gets back behind the bar and starts to bartend*

*Respwan*
*walks up to Cubitus at the bar*
Psycho:"srry bout Jack"
*pulls out another steak*
Psycho:"is this anyone u care about cause i'm starving"
*starts to eat steak[:D]"

*respawns*
*slices cubitus in pieces w/katana*
*cooks him*
*eats cubitus steak*
*burps*
*goes back to sleep*

*Respawn*
*Goes behind the bar and take a couple of bottles and starts to drink*
*Goes into a delirium tremens (seeing pink ninjas... :)) and falls asleep*

*respawns again even though he didn't do anything*

"Swwet baby jesus and all the orphans....we come to a bar to relax from all the clan matches and skirmishes yet people still want to kill!"

*Draws SOCOM and shoots Psycho in the left knee for blowing the bar AGAIN, then gets M in the shoulder for the cluster nades*

"And DON'T do it again!"

*Duke walks in and screams "HOW COULD YOU EAT MEAT...A LIVING ANIMAL, NOW DEAD...I MUST DESTOY THIS"*
*Duke then brings out a carrot and begins to smack saurons left ear in a beat. Soon everyone in the bar is dancing to the beat of 'thmp thmp thmp thmp', jumping whenever duke yells 'YOU WORTHLES MADDRAFAKKER' and then continuing*
*Duke wears away saurons ear, look triumphant, then walks out. People stop dancing. Duke gets run over. A small dog in Western Chad gets raped by a reptile. In the bar, people start to beat carrots on their ears, dancing. Duke has begun a new cult. Rejoice*

*laughs at Dukes little cult*
*goes back to sleep*

*repsawns*
*walks up to sauron*
Psycho:"wtf man. I've been controlling my anger my taking anger manegment classes and u come in a shot me in the knee. For shame"
*Instead of resorting to violence Psycho hears the carrot s hitting peoples heads and feels the need to dance*
*starts dancing crazily and trips over kamikaze ninja's body*
*continues dancing*
Psycho:"can never give up a chance to dance"

*CuBiTuS is woke up by the smell of the carrot*
*Eats all the carrots he can and fall asleep again*

lololol, i leave for a week and everything goes to hell, naughty naughty SP, taking the bar idea from Terror Sabbath ;D

anywyas...

*walks into the bar with his trusty ruger in his hand and a SOCOM in his pocket*
*in less than a second he flips his ruger out and blast 2 rounds each into 2 peoples heads*
"you should know better than to try that boys, if you remember, i'm the one who killed 5 people in about 8 seconds with 2 nades and 1 ruger clip"
*after that slight disruption he goes up to the bar and orders some kinda tasty drink*
*after he finishes his drink he chucks it into the fireplace and it explodes with glass shards flying everywhere*

thats my contribution to the bar, everytime you finish a drink now you must throw it in the fireplace where it will explode

Me too like worm.
LOLOLOL.



*Then M respawns gets into the bar and seeng ninja asleep. Then Takes a horn and blow and ninja blows up.*
*Then M goes to the bar and orderes a beef steak.*
*That*

"Son of a bitch! WTF did I do to you? I'm not eating steak! My ear!"

Wow... I didn't die!
*grins*

*Kills the rest of his Mike's and tosses it into the fireplace*

Yup Dundee. But remember, I made the bar in the Terror Sabbath forum, too ;).

*Get's another Mulson's Tripple Black*
*sits next to Dundee and starts to reminiss*

Remember the good ol' days? A clan... Terror Sabbath... for a game that didn't have online capablilities
*takes a swig*
And Sabre Squad! Oh ho ho!! What a time, what a time! Man on man... whatever happened to all those guys? I know Flanagan ended up here and so did you (and me I guess). I still see good ol' Ulv online all the time. He still makes virtually no sence when I talk to him.

I guess we've lost Durandal though. *looks down*
He started playing Jedi Knights and no one's seen him since.

Ah well... *another swig*

Oh did you hear that the LOSP is ACTUALLY making progress! ya no joke!! There's a fully playable version now!! Not online yet... but Gliptek's got it to the point where it's JUST like old school Liero... ahh the good ol days.

*passes out*

*Spawns*
*Mossy walks in, orders a beer and sits down at an empty table, pulls out his laptop and listens to tuns while playing Soldat*

*Shifts over to Mossy and sits on the empty barstool next to him*

"Make that 2 beers....so, had a good day killing people? Want a Cubitus steak?"

*seem as M woke him up...*
*ninja star imbedded in a guy's head who just so happened to be named "M"*
*goes back to sleep*

*Awaken by people teasing him with a fork*
*"Hey! Don't touch my ribs you meat eater!*
*Blast sauron and Mossy with a SPAS and wipe the blood off the counter*
*As no bartender is on the place, CuBiTuS starts to work behind the bar*
*Removes the empty bottles around SP and Kamikaze Ninja so they can have a better sleep*

*mumbles in his sleep saying t..han...ks...me..at...er.rm..co..w..i...me...an....cu..bit..us...*

*Throws a nade at the window*
*Jumps in*
*Starts knifing people at random*
*Takes CuBitus's ribs and barbecue sauce*
*Jumps out the window*
*Gets in his Ferrari and zooms away screaming "Suckers!"*

*Respawn*
*Goes into the bar.*
*Sees a ninja.*
*Takes a ninja satana.*
*CUT CUT and ninja falls down in pieces.*
*Then M orderes a beer and starts to drink.*
M: UGHHHHH this tastes like piss.
Bartender: I know i pissed on it.
M: You son of a .....
*Then M takes a grenade.*
M: Eat this.
*Takes the pin out and throws it to bartender.*
*Bartender explodes.*
M: That was a blow.
*Exits the cafe and returns back to game.*

*walks in*

*coughs up a SPAS gauge*

"Ohdeargod. Cubitus, it was lying on the counter! What was I supposed to do?! You don't want your FINE FINE FINE UNBELIEVABLY NICE steak going to waste now would you?"

*Grin*

*Sees Cubitus' blank stare*

*Shoots the damned Cow in the hoof with the precious precious SOCOM*

*Still laugh on buysomefreshlimonade cat's.*

(since he said satana and didn't specify which ninja im still here sleeping)

*Respawn*
*Removes a bullet from his ear. (how did it got there?)*
*Walks behind the bar and grab an empty bottle from the trash can*
*Throws the bottle behind sauron's head so he passes out*
*Continue to bartend as if nothing happened*

*Walks in the bar*
*Orders a drink*
*Drinks it*
*Doesnt pay for it*
*Throws a bar stool at the bartender*

*slides off barstool and onto the floor*

mphf.... nooo.... nooo... no more.... AHHHH!!!!!

*burps and then goes silent*

*Dodges the bar stool*
*Takes a Barret, aim at Electro's head and pull the trigger*
*Wipes the blood on the floor, puts all the brain pieces in a bag and throws the bag in the garbage container*
*Goes back behind the bar and continues to bartend*

*respawns*
*enters bar and goes to sit a bar*
*MANY drinks later*
Psycho:"see this guy, yah this guy.*puts arm around person next to him*
we're best buds aren't we?
person:"who the hell r u?"
Psycho"u don't remember the good times we had......good times.....good times"
*Falls of bar stoll and hits head on table*
*A few ppl go to see if he's alright(acctually no one goes but i like to fell special) and realize he's sleeping*
*in psycho's dream*
"good steak.....yummy steak your so good. No what's happening no no NOOO!!*steak grew into giant cow*
"don't hurt me*hides*"wait your a cow and i like steak*
*Psycho starts to eat giant cow in dream but in real life he's chewing on someone's foot*
*mumbles*"so tasty"

yeh but SP there was like 3 frickin bars there lol
and yeh, TS was kinda demented, w00tbix, a clan for a game that cant be played online! also, Sabre Squad only had eh...3 people in it lol, i think i still have ulv on my msn list...wait, checking, no hes not there, tell me his email again

as for dal, he must still be doing something, dammit, you have his email too? please..i have to yell at him

and holy crap LOSP making progress! damn, last time i saw it, it was still in tech tests lol...well since we're already reminiscing, 'm going to go to the D11 forums now, that will be funny....kickasss, its still alive, but..eh..not..loading..pfft AHA ther e it goes, time to go yell at podex, i think pils is dead

i wonder whatever happened to pils sister..or was it podex's sister? i only saw her around there for about 3 weeks, then boom, shes gone...HAH LOL, i still have negative 1 PM's..[:-censored], whos virtuoso...hey cool, i have 569 posts

dammit, someone gimme a drink over, BARTEND!!! some kinda vodka maybe

AHHAHAHA, hot damn, it still lets me edit the news from when i was Download Manager! KICKASS!!! hahah lmao, i screwed up his news, i edited it, lol

too bad there aint no wing in this here bar, it makes it so dreary, time to do some random thing that i remember from the other bar

*sets up a Super Tetris Xtreme Skateboaring 7 1/2 LAN, "join in guys!!!"

(that was a frickin long post, i'm a sad person...hehe ;D)

*Respawns*
*Takes out a chainsaw and rams it up the bartender's arse*
*Kills the bartender with a knife*
*Steals a few drinks*

*Duke comes back from the hospital. He would hav died, but with the powers of the Carrot, he survived*
*With a manical gleam in his eyes, he says 'These people have not obeyed the cult. They have not danced. They must pay'*
*He beckons the door. Tall, sinistar men come in. They carry carrots. *
*The people of the bar look up in horror. Duke nods, and speaks: 'Yes. Its the Veggie Mafia. Fear for your LIVES, worthless scum, for you have FORSAKEN the holy rite of the Carrot. Dance, lest we slay thee'*
*The people come up and dance in a frenzy. The gangsters chuckle. Duke then says, 'It is not sufficent. You must DIE' Duke giggles, his arms jerking unnaturaly. 'KILL THEM' he shrieks.*
*The men walk forward, and beat the people with the carrots on their left ears til they all die. Every one lies dead. Duke smiles, then walks off*

*Electro_cyc was hiding in the stomach or the dead bartender*
*Climbs out with ak ak-47 and kills duke*
*Duke dies*
*Takes out a knife and kills one of the bodyguards*
*Kicks the other bodyguard out of the bar and locks the door*
*Steals a few more drinks*
*Start puking like crazy*

*Respawn*
*Kicks Electro_cyc out of the bar*
*Sees all the carrots lying on the ground*
*Decides to cook a carrot soup*

*Apoligizes and pays for the drinks*
*Pukes on CuBiTuS*
Oh i'm sorry, i'll whipe it off
*Pukes on the floor*
*Passes out*

*Duke has been shot in the arm and played dead*
*Gets up, and called 911. 'Officer, theres madmen in the bar. They stole my CARROTS sir'.*
*The police come. They gently take Duke away to a mental care facility. He smiles gently, dreaming of carrots, then passes out*

*Months later, duke escapes, and comes to the bar. Cyc is in. He smashes cyc on the head with an eggplant, then drinks like mad*
*Starts snorting some hard stuff*
*Finds out it was ground glass*
*Dies of a lacerated nose. Sad way to go*

*STOP KILLLLLLLLLliNG oh damn fuk fuk.*
*Blows the hell out of the bar.*
*Everyone in the bar dies.*
*Bar respawns.*
*Enters the bar and starts to bartend.*
*Inserts some metal detectors and 10 bodyguards.*
*No on can enter guns in the bar.*
*Or else.....*

*Throws a dozen of cluster nades by a window and bar explodes*
*Wait for the bar to respawn*
*Picks up Kamikaze ninja who is sleeping in the middle of the road and sits him on a bar stool*
*Places a sign on the door "Guns and carrots are allowed"*
*Puts the metal detectors to trash*
*Buys some carrots and cooks a carrot soup*

*Snores after passing out VIA bottle*

*Wakes up*

*Sees a veggie mafia outta window*

*Leaps behind the bar and curls into a ball, rocking gently*

"My ear....my precious ear....what have they done...to me?"

*Kills duke*
*Duke dies, he's not faking or anything. He's not breathing and he 95% of his blood*
*Drinks a bottle of vodka*
*Pisses in the empty botte and throws it a bodyguard*
*Passes our again*

*Respawns*
*Blows cubitus with 10 clusters.*
*Spawns my cafe.*
*Goes to the bar and starts to be a bartender.*

*walks into bar*
*pins note on Bar wall*
*closes down bar due to Sanitary Violations*

*Duke is dead. Goes to heaven.*
Saint Peter: 'My boy, what have you done. You must find peace."
Duke: 'AHHAAHHAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH'
*Rams a carrot up ol' Petes ass*
*God comes out.*
Duke: Hey man, theres a sweet bar down there. Some hot dancing girls and beer. Wanna come?'
God: 'Sure. All this holy crap gets tiring after abit. Lets go'
*Duke hands him a carrot. They both go down.*
*Find the bar. God stares around.*
God: Crappy place. Stinks like hell.'
Duke: Well, we're in America sir. Still, the booze is good. But first...'
*Duke pulls out a carrot. He knocks down the note and then proceeds to knock everybody out in the bar. God helps*
God: Man, i gotta go back up. I have a reputation and all that. Sorry. Cya next time'
*Duke nods and waves. God goes up holy staircase into choirs of singing angels. God fingers the angels then continues up*
Duke: THE CARROT WILL PERSEVERE....AHAHAHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAHHHHHHHHHAAHHAAHAH'
*Duke then begins to dance in a circle making strange m00ing noises*

*finds himself out in middle of road bleeding*
*stands up*
Psycho:"man i've got a huge hangover"
*turns and see's an car comin right at him *
*ppl yell for him to move*
Psycho:"STFU. I'm just goin to lie here for awhile"
*killed by car*
*respawns*
Psycho:"my hangover it's gone yay!!"
*enters bar*
*looks at Duke*
Psycho:"What a loser"
*decides to join him in his dance*

*mumbles wtfux0rz*
*goes back to sleep*

*Respawn*
*Goes behind the bar*
*Continues to watch over his carrot soup*

*Wakes up*
*Finds himself laying right by the tiolet*
Howd i get here?
*Stands up and goes back to the bar*
Bar fight!
*Takes a chair and breaks it over Kamikaze ninja's back*

*Throws the boiling soup at Electro's head "How could you hit someone sleeping?"*

"He was sleeping? How dare you not tell me and let me hit someone sleeping?!"
*Breaks a bottle of whisky over CuBiTus's head*

*"Hey! That was a 40 years old bottle! You're gonna pay for that! 350$......"*
*Holds Electro_cyc at gunpoint until he pays*

"$350? Ha!"
*Throw a few hundred dollar bills an Cubitus*
*Takes Cubitus's gun*
*Shoots some more bottles*
*Throws the gun at one of the dancers*

*M yells at everyone to get out of my bar.*
*No on lissens.*
*Then M takes a chansaw and starts to cut everithyng in the bar. From duke to Electro.*
*Then sees a ninja sleeping.*
*Wakes him up.*
*No response.*
*Again.*
*No response.*
*Takes ninja stars and throw it to him.*
*Ninja dies while he was sleaping.*
*Forgets about the $350 bottle.*
*Damn.*

*Respawns*
*Takes a pool stick (whatver its called)*
*Breaks it over M's back*

*M whole in pain starts to show a picture of Soldat bar.*
M: This is before us.
[IMAGE]
M: And this is after us.
[IMAGE]
*Then M dies.*

*Throws a few nades on the roof*
"Now its complete"
*Walks inside and orders a drink*

*? walks into the broke down bar. Looks around then goes to the carnival*
(I love carnivals

*stands up again*

*sees all the blood of the mass killings. stares for a little while*

*turns and recognises the bartender as M*

"GET OUTTA MY WAY! I NEED TO LEAVE!"

*draws nun-chukas and does a 'Bruce Lee' on M*

*M falls over*

*Sauron winces due to the carrot inflicted madness, then point blanks the ground with his M79 (oh come on, I'm the only person who hasn't blown everyone to hell yet....the LAW was a mistake...*

"Its not over yet"
*Takes a sledge hammer*
*Starts breaking the tiolets and champaigne bottles*
*Drinks some more beer*
*Drops the sledge hammer*
*It breaks a hole in the floor*
"Whooops"

*all attempts of hurting Kamikaze Ninja was nulled due to the lag*

*Takes out a knife and starts slashing at random people*
*Throws the knife at a hobo*
*Drinks some more*

personally M i think the "Before" pic looked worse than the "After" one

*me goes crazy Matrix-style with ruger and kills everyone with 3 bullets*

*Dodged all bullets and didnt die*
*Rams a chainsaw down wormdundee's throat*
*Wormdundee dies*
*Spils some alcohol and puts it on fire with a flamer*
"Ahh the bar is burning!!!!!"
*Jumps out of the window*

*to remain invisible while sleeping K-Ninja uses M's InterMface so he could just hide behind it since it's 1/3 of the screen size and ppl would stay away from it never finding K-Ninja.*

*M respawns and blows the hell out of the bar and everyone dies.*
*Bar respawns.8
*Enters inside.*
*Wow new deluxe bar.*
*Starts to be a bartender.*
*Cool.*

Woah, this place has a JACUZZI!

*Sauron starts bubblin' away....then realises that the jacuzzi isn't turned on. The smell arises*

*Turns on jacuzzi for sauron.*
*1 hour for 50$.*
Sauron: Sure
*Then M says.*
M: 50 dollars now or nothing.
Sauron: Never.
*M turns on jacuzzi blades.*
*CUT CUT CUT.*
*Sauron dies.*
M: All costumers who don't want to pay ends like this. BWAHAHAHAHA

*steals $50 from Electro*
Here ya go, M *grins*
*jumps into jacuzzi*

ahhhhhh

*M forgots to turn off the blades.*
*Social is stabed to dead.*
M: /\/\4|\| T|-|4t \/\/4Z L33T.

*Respawn*
*Enters the bar*
*Asks for a carrot soup*

*Comes up to Jacuzzi again*

"Heres your 50 damn dollars" *hands him the money* "But turned those blades off will you? They are spreading gore into the nice warm bubbly water"

*Off*

*Sauron jumps in*

"Ahh thats good sh*t. (punchline incoming) I love a good BLOOD BATH in the evening! Ahahahahahahahahaha get it? Get it? Oh. Fine. Well, it WAS funny! Ask....erm....*THAT* guy laughing over there!"

*M turns*

*Sauron runs away, forgetting his towel*

*Someone shouts*

"AAAAH, STREAKER!"

*Steal social poison's wallet*
*Kicks him the face*
*Jumps into the jaccuzi*

*Starts to cry because no one wants to be friend with a psychopat cow*
*Empties a bottle of scoth that was innocently standing nearby and fall asleep in his bowl of carrot soup*

*respawns*
*checks pockets*
hmmm...

*whistles to self as he walks toward the jacuzzi*
hmmhmmhmm....
*turns on blades*

icky....

*kicks M in his head and get a refund*

*Was in the showers when the blades turned on*
*Pulls an m79 out of his boxers*
*Kills Social Poison*
*Drinks some scotch and befriends a psychopat cow*

*M kicked by social takes a knife and kill social.*
*Here is your soup psycho cow.*
M: NO GUNS ALLOWED.
*Takes electro gun and throws it outside.*
*From the hit the M&( fires a bullet.*
*Bar explodes.*
*Every one dies.*
*Respawn.*
M: Damn what happend.
*Bar respawns.*
M: PLEASE LET IT BE THE DELUXE ONE.
*Enters.*
*The old bar.*
*M kills himself.*

*Orders delux bar with robot bar tender*

*no response for that bar SP.*

*Kicks the robot bartender out*
*I work here now*
*May i help you sir?*

*No.*

*Chucks a llama at M*
*Take that you ingratefull [:-censored]*
*I quit!*
*But i'm still waiting for my pay check...*

*Respawn*
*Starts to bartend because Electro quit*

*Orders a drink*
*I need a drink, i just got fired. I used to be a bartender here.*

*Walks into bar*
*Sits down*

*Sits down by Souldsnipa*
*Hello newbie*

err...n00b eh?
*punches electro square in the nose*
*hope a broken nose suits you*[B)]
remember that the next time you call me a newbie [:D]

"Didn't I see you in the battlefield (asking Soul Snipa) I beleive it was DNAGames" (He said how'd you get invis heads does it come with registered I sadi magic proves electro's point) *goes back to sleep*

*Breaks a bar stool on Sousnipa's back*
*Takes out a chainsaw*
*Sticks it in Soulsnipa's guts*
"Newbie!"
*Remembers the nose*
"Didnt hurt."

*Types in /pause then everything freezes*
*goes to sleep in peace*

*says (though frozen)*

Ironic how you call the guy a noob and kill him with a chainsaw

LMAO he's got a point there *talking to everyone over AIM/MSN*

*respawns*
*tries to walk but it's paused and can't move*
Psycho:"can some1 unpause"
*no answer*
*looks up road and see's truck comin at him(not apart of soldat so it can move)*
Psycho:"UNPAUSE NOW PLEZ"
*to late Psycho is run over by truck*
*respwans*
*see's more trucks comin*
Psycho:"COME ON[:(!][:(!]!!!!!!"

*points and laughs at psycho while drinking some (insert product here) in real life*

*M respawns at the airport runway and sees a plane coming.*
*Tries to move.*
*Nothing happens,*
M: UNPAUSE YOU SICK [:-censored]S.
*Runed over by a plane.*

"Thats exactly why i killed him with a chainsaw"
*Bans Kamikaze Ninja*
"there its unpaused now"

"Spawn"
"Enters in the bar."
"Kicks electro ass."
quote
*Chucks a llama at M*
quote/
"Stab him in the back."
"Kicks his head."
"Takes a baseball bat and starts knocking him."
"Starts to piss on him."
"Kick him again."
"While Electro was begging to leave him alone M takes a gun and kills him."
"Throws the body in a jacuzzy and starts the blades."
"Electro body cuts off"
"Then M says."
M: Cool the deluxe bar.

*removes Ninja from the ban list (hah... my bar so suck it)*
*kick/bans Electro*

Only I ban people from MY bar!

*HAcks electro's computer and puts a virus in soldat*
"ahahahahaha no more soldat for you my boy"
lol

*Kicks kami in the thing that is in the middle of the legs for hacking a soldat copy.*

*respwans*
*goes up to M*
*punches him in face*
Psycho:"don't hit some1 there"
*goes to kamikaze ninja and helps him up*
*pulls knife out and stabs him in back*
*starts kickin him when on ground*
*throws in jaccuzi with blades on*
Psycho:"thats what u do!!![:D]"

*Punches Psycho.*
*Psycho falls in the jacuzzy.*
*Cuts.*
M: Wow guts.

*Respawns*
*Enters the bar*
*Sees the jacuzzi with blades and says "Hey! That's not a jacuzzi, it's a giant food mixer!"*
*Raises the temperature to boiling point, pour in some carrots, starts the blades and tada! Carrot soup for everyone!*

*joins bar*
*Says "YAY A "JACUZZI"" and jumps in*
*gurgle*
*splat*
*bone fragment flies and sticks into cubitis's eye*

Duke states that hes absolutly had enough of the goddamn ]STARS and will know simply scream, kill, make love and cause havoc (sometimes at the same time) without the friggin astrixs.

Duke runs into the bar, and shoots everyone. WITH A GUN. No womanly CARRots this time my friends. No no, after the AK 47 he brings out an EGGPLANT and begins to shove it up the ass dead body of Ms with effort. He finds small mammals, table implements, and, strangly, a small overweight dog from southeast Chad.

*Pushes Duke in the jacuzzy and duke cuts off.*
*THe pushes cubitus and cubitus also cuts off.*
*Starts to make a barbique from the meat in the jacuzzy.*

*respawns*
*walks up behind M*
*grabs him and puts his head in the water*
*the boiling temperature takes the skin off his head*
*pulls him out and takes a mini gun and unloads into M's lifless body*

*Blade walks in and punches Psycho*
*psycho cries home to his boyfriend*

*M respawns.*
*Goes to the psycho home and sees that psycho [:-censored]s with his boyfriend.*
*Takes out a grenade.*
M: Eat this.
*Takes out pin and throws it.
*Blows psychon home up."

*Walks into the Bar, goes to the next corner and [:-censored]s*
Landstreicher: Isn't this the toilet?[:D]
*when Landstreicher is readyx he goes to the bar and buys a round whiskey for everyone in the bar*
*when everybody is drunken he takes auf his knive, and screams: Anyone here for a good clean monkey kombat?
*There comes Duke*
Duke: Awk awaaaawwwwwk! *screams monkey language*
Landstreicher: Ok, build a circle. The rules are easy: We fight with knives!
*Throws a knive to duke*
*hits him in the eye*
*grins evil*
Landstreicher: Bad start, huh?
*Duke pulls the weapon out of his eye, takes it in the mouth, and Jumps into Landstreichers face...*

To be continued...

*M comes to the bar.*
*Sees a man fighting a monkey.*
*Calling the animal protection society.*
*They comes and arrests Landstreicher.*
M: HAHA

*APS officer : "What does a cow do in that bar. Let's bring it back to its field!"*
*Officers tries to catch CuBiTuS*
bang....pow....Moooooooo!....bang....bang....
*CuBiTuS kills the two officers with his SPAS and Landstreicher escapes*

*Watch cubitus.*
*Laugh badly.*
*Bar explodes from loud laughing.*

*? comes back from the carnival to see CuBiTuS with a cow and M laughing at him and slowly backs out to the other soldat bar*

*wakes up and says*
"WTFUXORZ STFU n00bs"
*uses his fast reflexes
to throw about 20 shurikens
at those who makes loud and
annoying sounds*
*goes back to sleeping*

*Duke decides to use asterixs*
*Protests that he is NOT a monkey, but is merely very ugly8
*Upon hearing that he is a male, and in fact human, M tries to rape Duke*
*Landstreicher becomes excited and takes out his camera*
*Duke becomes frustrated and takes out a tomato and shoves it up to be company with the eggplant in Ms behind*
*Duke them screams 'IM NOT A F!UCKING MONKEY' and shoves a carrot, an egglant AND a tomato into various orificis of Landstreicher*
*Duke then phones for pizza and has a drink*

*M mad at duke calls the animal protection society again and takes duke away in the zoo.*

*Goes to the zoo and helps Duke to get out*

*is waiing for duke*
Landstreicher: Hello Duke, I was awaiting you...
*takes the small monkeylooking boy and throws him on the ground*
Duke: AAAAAAAWWWK AWK!
*Landstreicher takes out his gun and shoots twice into the monkeyboys head*
*Duke dies*
Landstreicher: Now I'll have some fun! *evil*
*Uses his special powers to force cubitus to eat M*
*M spawns and beats cubitus with a biiiig stick*

*Then M takes everyone at the zoo.*
*All are locked in.*
*M goes to the bar and takes everything from there.*
*Because the bartender is in the zoo with all of the other customers.*
*Including the one that sleeps to much.*
*M takes everything for free.*

Landstreicher: cmd: /kill
*landstreicher spawns in the Bar*
Landstreicher: We are alone, M. I wanna good clean fight. The winner gets everything...
*M screams and runs away*

Not happend:
*M screams and runs away*

Allright lets fight.
*M gives Landstreicher a punch.*
*Landstreicher starts to cry.*
M: Bumsen sie.
Landstreicher: Nein. Nein. Bitte nein.
*Landstreicher runs away.*
M: DU BIST EINE SCHEISSE.
*Yells at Landstreicher.*
M: Hahaha ich scared ihn weg.

Landstreichers genius tactical maskerade was sucessfull. M thinks he won. But Landstreicher sneaks up behind him...
*M still loughs and feels happy. He just wanted to do some popoppen with his boyfriend. But Landstreicher was faster. He takes out his baseball bat and beats Ms head with full power. The head flyes away before M could even regonize what killed him.

*wakes up for a few secs in which he laughs at M being beat down*
*walks to the bar gets a few drinks*
*goes back to sleep*
*but b4 sleeping typing /restart to make everyone stfu*
*I make everyone remote admins but M*
*sleeps peacefully*

Landstreicher uses his admin powers to kick M for 15 mins. In this time he goes home to get some sleep...

*M uses cheat to make all not remote admins. So i am the main admin. And M kick/bans everyone.*

*M forgets that SP made the bar and therefore the server*
*M kicks himself out*

*SP Closes bar*
*clears banned.txt file*
*opens it back up*

*everyone in the bar respawns*

*bans M*

*Nukes Social Poison.*
*SP dissapears..*
*The whole soldat bar server dies.*
*No soldat bar anymore.*
YEEEEEEE

Tweak arrives, then is forced to leave cause he is underage, so tweak kills everyone in the bar....

hasn't this bar been destoryed enuf for the thread to die?

M Spawns the bar again.
All come inside.

Oops spawnbug! The bar turned up in the Carribean where Michal were cruising around on his new yatch with the cast of Baywatch.

But that doesnt matter to Landstreicher. He takes out his knive, and throws it at Michal, who dies cause of the bleeding.

M yells at Landstrikzors
M: YOU TRAITOR YOU KILED THE GOD OF SOLDAT.
M takes out 45 nades and all trhows them on landstrikzos
and blows him up.

*Landstreicher spwans*
Landstreicher: You idiot! It's only a mask.
*He takes the mask off the face*
M: OH MY GOD! IT'S JESUS! YOU KILLED JESUS!
Landstreicher: Erm...ups?

*bans landstreicher from the bar* =P get outa here traitor

*YEA GET AUTA HERE YA ANTI CHRIST.*

he didnt mean to kill jesus u know :P it was an accident
although that would save alot of time in christian ed classes!


LAND RULES!!!!!!!!!!!

Bah.
*Using special power to make jesus alive.*
*Jesus is aive.*
*Jesus gives me some god powers for tanks.*
*M uses the power to kill landstreicher and to make him never respawn.*

Landstreicher hacks the server again. Then he picks out M's IP and sends him a virus. His computer explodes.
Jesus: "Hello, Landstreicher. I was waiing for you. What about a duell. Man vs Man. No tricks like the ones, M alwys uses. Nobody runs away in fear like a little school girl or M. Alright?"
Landstreicher spits on the ground
Landstreicher: "Allright. Tomorrow, same place, same time. Be there"

The next day:
It is midday. Everything is quiet in the little town. The streets are empty, and the wind blows through the dead buildings. There are only two people on the streets. The first looks kinda dirty. He has a wild beard and very dirty clothes. On his belt there are two throwing knives and his Colt.
The other pearson bliends you when you look directly over his head. The light is just too strong. His clothes are all withe and look bit gay. His long hair look like Hippie hairstyle. His only weapon is a cold, that looks like a very small version of M.
Landstreicher chews some tobacco. His hand is directly over his colt, ready to shoot his opponent.
Landstreicher: "Make your last prayer."
Jesus really starts to pray.
Landstreicher knows: After that prayer one of the men will die.
Jesus: "...AMEN!"
"Just in the second Jesus finished that word, he dies of three bullets in his heart and two in his head. He had no chance, and both knew that.
But Landstreicher didnt win that easy. The man who pryed wast just a normasl man, it was JESUS. A fast lighting shoots down on Landstreicher. But this guy is just too fast...

*M wathches that and says.*
M: What the hell is this. That land strikzors is fighting with his shadow.
*M takes out a colt and shoots at land and land dies.*

*sends everyone to bizarro*
(where everything is the opposite)
Hahaha fools bye bye.

*Mossy Spawns*
*Walks in and slits the throats of anyone standing in front of him on his way to his stool*
*Pulls out his laptop previously sprayed with his own blood and a couple small holes in the screen from the Spas that put the blood their. Puts on the headphones, orders a beer, turns on the tunes, starts playing Soldat again*

*M takes mossy laptop and throw it out of the window.*

*Mossy takes out an I-pod and starts listening to his tunes again*
*Turns around with his deagles and caps M's eye balls to smitherings*
*Orders another cup a coffee and goes hunting for his battered laptop*

*M fires with law at mossy and mossy explodes.*
*M orderes a beer.*
*The bartender gives him a beer.*
*M drinks.*
M: DAMNIT SOME ONE PUt A POISON IN MY DRINK.
*M dies.*

Landstreicher just loughs.
"They will never learn it."
Then he throws away the poison and hides somewhere, where nobody can find him.

*M Respawns.*
*M comes to the bar.*
*M takes out a minigun.*
*M Fires up the minigun.*
M: DIE BITCHZORS.
*M stops the minigun.*
M: WTF there is no one in here.
*M getting mad.*
*M starts a nuclear warhead.*
*And the earth explodes.*
*Everyone dies.*

*Mossy respawns outside the bar*
*Sees M's nuked shadow on the wall*
*Takes out the I-pod again*
*Walks in, sits down and orders a beer*
Mossy: ...Where's the damn bartender?

M: I killed him. He is not avaible anymore.
*Takes out spaws and kills Mossy.*
M: All who will enter this bar will die.

Landstreicher builds an exactly copy of the bar just next to the bar. Then he takes out his flamethrower and burns the origina bar down.
Then he goes into his own bar and drinks a beer.

*But he also made a copy of me so i kill landstreicher in the new bar.*

Landstreicher forgot that there was also that little maggot that always kills him...
He spawns directly infront of M...
LS: "Why are you always killing me? Why do you BEAT me(Landstreicher Beats M in the face. His noce breaks)
WHY, WHY, WHY?(with every why Landstreicher beats M again into the same place)"
...HALF AN HOUR LATER...
M lies on the ground and cries and LS still beats and kicks M.
...ANOTHER HALF HOUR LATER...
M still lies there. Now he is dead, but LS just doesnt stop(Why,Why, WHY?)
...2 LOOOONG HOURS LATER...
Now LS has finished M...if its really M what lies there...
After that LS goes home and watches TV. Enough...for today...

*M spawns and goes to land strizkors home.*
M: I wasn't crying at all.
*Then M throws landstrikzors out of the window in his home.
M: Oh damn i forgot its the first floor.
*Then M sees out of the window what happend to land strizors.*
M: Holy [:-censored]. He fell down on a knife shop.
*And landstrikzors dies.*

*Landstreicher spawns in the knive shop(*evilgrin*)*
With about 50 knives in his backpack(?) he enteres his home.
Where are you little [:-censored]?
He searches the whole house. The he hears something: Somebody cries somewhere...
Landstreicher: "Ah! It comes from the cupbourd!"
Landstreicher opens it, and there he sees M, he is crieing of fear and sits there.
LS: "DIE LIKE A MAN YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!"
He takes M and thorws him against the wall. M's arm bone brakes. He starts to cry again.
Landstreicher just shake his head and takes out 3 knives. He trows them all at the same time: One hits M in the left hand, one in the right and one in the left knee.
M cant move, he just cries out loud.
Then Landstreicher throws the other knives at M, with the last knive he hits him in the throat.
Landstreicher: "Remember this, when you want to come to my house the next time, Maggot!"

*M comes to land striker.*
M: Hahaha that was a hollo projection.
*Then Landstrker screams and runs away.*
*M goes on the window and snipes land striker how is runing.*
*M shoots and Landstriker dies.*
M: Time to burn this place up.
*M throws 5 molotov coctels and landstriker home burns up.*
*M watches land strikers home burning and says.*
M: Marvelous.
*Then M goes to the landstriker body and writes with a knife with large letters: All whop mess with M ends like this.*
*Then all the peoples started to be afrai of me.

But that cant be an Holo! I beat it. Holos have no bodys!
M CHEATS! BURN HIM!
Landstreicher Beats M.

M: I took the holo projection from a holo deck on enterprise. Thanks Picard
Picard: You are welcome.
*Enterprise energize a phaser for M next to him.*
Landstreicher: Was ist das?
M: Run away cause its set to maximum.
*M fires at him and landstriker burns up.*

Landstreicher spawns and takes his Spaceshuttle.
LS: "ILL GET YOU, [:-censored]ER!"
Then he races to the enterprice.
"Now YOU will burn..."
Landstreicher drives his shuttle directly into the commando room, where M gets [:-censored]ed by Picard at the moment.
LS(through the phone): "Im sorry to bother you, but now YOU will burn baby...KAMIKAZE!"
Landstreicher and his shuttle explode, and M, LS and Picard die. After that the whole enterprice explodes.
Landstreicher spawns in the bar again....

(btw...@M: we own this topic^^)

*M spawns near the Romulian border floating in space.*
M: WTF?!?!?!
*A romulian warbird is uncloaking.*
Romulian captain: Prepare to be destroyed M.
M: Awww [:-censored].
*M is destroyed.*
*Then M spawns near Landstriker.*
M: Hahahaha now i will kill you.
Landstriker: Please don't kill me please.
*Landstriker starts crying*
*M is preparing knifes.*
Landstriker: PLEASE PLEASE don't kill me please.
Landstriker: NO PLEASE GOD PLEASE DON't do that.
M: Prepare to die.
*M punches land striker.*
* Land striker cries really loud.*
*Then M takes the knife and starts cuting his hands*
*Land striker screames.*
*Then M throws the hands to Landstriker and land striker falls down.*
Landstriker: NO PLEASE PLEASE..........
*M kicks Landstriker really hard.*
Landstriker: Nooooooooo.....
*Then M takes the knife and hits him right into the heart.*
Landstriker: Mamy...........
*Landstriker dies.*
*Then M burns the body up.*

*Landstreicher spawns*
LS: Why do you always write me like a little school girl?
M: Umm...well...
LS: I'll show waht a REAL battle is...
*LS takes a Baseball bat and throws it to M, then he takes one for himself*
LS: You know what I call this little game?
M: No?
LS: I call ittake-the-baseballbat-and-hit-M-in-the-nuts...
*LS does exactly what his game is called like*
*M runs in a circle for four times, then the pain is away.*
M: You will PAY for this!
*M takes his vodoo needle and sticks it in a little doll that looks like LS*
LS: Auuu! You [:-censored]in Basatard! But what you can, I can do, too!
*He takes a voodo doll himself and sticks the needle into the right arm*
M: ARGH! You made me bleed! You'll get that back!
*M takes the needle and sticks it into the knee of his doll*
*LS falls to the ground*
LS: My knee! I cant stand! But I still can do THIS!
*he sticks the needle into the throat of th e doll*
M: The payne! THE PAYNE!!! Take that!
*he sticks the needle into the hand of the doll*
LS: ARGH! Now I cant hold my doll anymore! But I can still attack it on the ground! But now...
*LS bites the right leg off the doll*
*M falls, and his leg falls, too...but ijnto another direction...*
M: MY LEG! [:-censored]!
*He takes out his vodoo knive and cuts the right arm off his doll*
LS: MY ARM!
*It falls to the ground*
LS: You chose this way!
*He takes out his vodoo mini chainsaw and cuts both arms off his doll*
M: AAAH! MY ARMS! DAMMIT! BUT I STILL GOT A MOUTH!
*He takes the knive with his mouth and cuts the left ear off his doll*
LS: ARGH! MY EAR! DIE!
*He takes the doll and bites iff the head*
*M dies*
*Landstreicher dies, too, because of the bleeding.*
Then some noob joins the bar, sees the blood everywhere, sees the two corpses and the arms legs and the head, lieing far away from their owners and leaves the bar again...

*Kamikaze Yawns and walks away as this is merely a two man battle oh well*

*M spawns and says.*
M: I am bored of this fight lets start the bar thing again.
*M starts to be a bartender.
M: Who wants a drink?

*Hiroshto walks in & sits at the counter*

H: I'll have a Lemon Tea & Sak'e

*strolls in, Desert Eagle at his side, and sits down at the bar*

One herbal tea, please.

omg, Wing has now come in the Soldat Bar!!! the horror...someone search him, i bet he has a Winchester on him

*walks in with his "Lil buddy that loves the taste of blood" aka Combat Knife and orders some San Miguel Beer lol*

chiken and cheesseee please lol*

Guys, don't kill Gonark if he pisses you off, just ignore him. :p

hey im just a drunk in salior

gonark walks back into the bar orders a margaritea how ever thats spelled and then say's ...

Ack, gotta run for tonight. *slaps money down on the counter and strolls out into the night*

One Coffee and one Desert Eagle, please.
*drinksthecoffeandblowsgonarksbrainoffwiththeDeagle*

*M is full of many orders and M warms up and explodes.*

*walks back in and sits down at a table, and just enjoys the atmosphere*

Oh, and a plate of hot wings, if that ain't too much to ask.

walks and orders a somked goat leg cuz hes bored , for the heck of it he sit on the floor

*lights a cigarette*

*M spawns*
*M takes a minigun.*
*M goes to the bar.*
*M fires the minigun.*
M: Die biotchs.
*M stops.*
M: Wtf this ain't the soldat bar is the police department.
*M runs away.*
*M is chased by helicopters, tanks, cars, policemans with heavy weapons, etc.*

*is rather scared by M's psychotic antics*

*M is cilled by the cops.*
*Finnaly M respawns by the soldat bar.*
*M gets in.*
M:Die biotchs.
*M wants to take out the minigun but there wasn't any minigun.*
M: Damn gun drop bug.
*Everyone in the bar stands up all with weapons.*
M: Oh [:-censored].
*M dies.*

*Mossy spawns, steps over M's body into the Bar and orders a shot(drink)*
*sits down*
Mossy: Every time I come here there is never a [:-censored]ing bartender!
*Goes behind counter makes his shot, slugs it down*
Mossy: F%#k it, I'll bartend!
*puts on apron and gets the hot wings warmed up for Art21*
*Sets up some stationary guns outside the bar and on the roof for some AI to scout for the unwanted visitors*

*yells 'Thanks!' at Mossy*

Mossy: *yells 'No prob man!'
*serves up the hot wings*
*slugs down another shot*
Mossy: 'Who owns this place anyway?'

*M repsawns near the soldat bar but is killed by the bots*
M: F#!$.
*M spawns farther from the soldat bar and then M launchs a nuclear missle at the bar.*
*Everyone dies in the bar and the bots too.*

Well...damn.

*respawns and walk back inside*

Oooh, pretty green glow...

*Walks in the Bar, Pushing the doors open, John Wayne style*
*Sits at the bar, Puts some Hillbillie music on the jukebox,, Orders a sex on the beach, smirks looking around the place*

*Spawns*
Mossy: WTF! Hillbillie music!
*blows the jukebox with a spas*
Mossy: We only settle for rock around here Topi
*Gives him his drink*
*walks away rather annoyed by the radiation and a hillbillie tune stuck in his head*

*spawns*
*M eneters the bar.*
M: WTF No one dies.
*M finnaly realizes that killing the bar is futile but killing the bartender is fun.*
*M takes out a barret and shoots Mossy head.*

*Landstreicher jumps into the bullet before it can reach mossy*
LS: NOOOO! NOT THE BARTENDEEEER! ARGH!
*The bullet hits him in the left shoulder and blows his arm away*
*But it comes out at the other side of his shoulder and hite mossy direktly between the eyes*
*his head flies 20 metres away and hits michal on his head*
*michal dies*
LS: What the [:-censored]?! You killed michal again!
*takes out his knive and knives M*

*respawns* (because he's too lazy to look back to wheter or not he was killed)

*sits at bar, kicks feet up, lights a cigerette*

*Watches the violence his little thread has started and laugs quitly to himself*

*enjoys the violence with SP*

*M spawns and goes to land strikzors.*
M: You was the one who killed michal the first time.
*Then M takes the knives from his dead body and knives land strikzors.*

*LS Spawns*
LS: Well...thats an argument...^^ But I know a better one...
*takes out his molotov and burns up M, SP and Art*
LS: Thats unfair! You mustnt enjoy our violence! JOIN IT! [:-censored]S! AND NOR BUUUURN! MURHARHARHRRRR

*M runs in flame.*
M: HELP HELP WATER.
*Takes a bottle of something and throws the thing inside on myself.*
*BOOOOM the whole bar exploded.*
*M forgot to read that the bottle was a nitro.*

----Gets home after being out all summer----

*Walks into bar, looks around at the chaos. Walks outta bar, goes home and goes to sleep.

*spawns*
*shoots M with a spas and goes back behind the counter.
*sets back up the bots(some in hidden on the roof of other buildings searching for M*
Mossy: Free beers all round'!!!
*starts cleaning up the aftermath....

*takeshisbeer*
*gulp*
^^

*M spawns with flamethrower and goes inside the bar.*
*Then M goes to landstreicher and tells him that he will be burned.*
*Then Landstreicher screams out loud.*
*Then M fires some flames and Landstreicher runs burning and outside dies.*

*qtR` Comes in and asks "Whats going on here" and looks at M*

*Landstreicher spawns and sneaks behind M*
*then he takes his club and hits M's head with it*
*then he takes out his second, bigger, bigger club and beats M until he's dead*
*then Landstreicher is looking at qtR*
LS: What the hell are you doing here?
*LS beats him down, too*
*he just throws him on his older, dead, still burning corpse*

*M spawns and takes a minigun.*
*M gets in the bar and shoots.*
M: Oh damn i killed all the girls in here.
*Then M reallises that he entered in a bar only for sexy girls.*

*M spawns and takes a minigun.*
*M gets in the bar and shoots.*
M: Oh damn i killed all the girls in here.
*Then M reallises that he entered in a bar only for sexy girls.*

*Landstreicher goes towards M and slaps him*
*SLAP*
LS: You idiot! That were the girls for the party tonight! You are SUCH A DUMB! Now we have to use our dolls again! Thank you very much, [:-censored]er!
Then M sees, that this life isnt woth to live it, so he takes out his minigun and shoots himself.

*But M Pawns again and goes to the bar and reallises that they were mask and takes it off.*
M: Haha they were a couple of gays.

*Landstreicher goes to them, and looks at their faces*
LS: That are Masks too! They were Girls who were dressed up like gays who were dressed up like girls!...well...thats kinda strange...

M: Damn this was a halloween party and all of them were kids.
*M burns up the bar and goes away.*

LS: Well...maybe it's better like this...
*goes away, too, and kills M by the way*

*M falls down and dies.*
*M respawns and blows Landstrikzors with law launcher*

wow this is still going lol

*picks up a rubbish can - half full - gives it to M's head, upside down ;)*

*Damn*
*M takes off the trash can and see a little Night Cabbadge.*
*Takes it and eat it.*

* Hiro Runs past with a Headband on & a Metal-Cutting Sword.

* Hiro cuts through the rubble & finds the fridge. He pulls out a Can of Lemon Tea & runs off

*Poison chases Hiroshto down and kicks him from behind*
*Hiroshto draws sword*
*Poison pulls out his nunchuket (sp)*

SP - This is slightly reminicent of a Maxi vs Mitsurugi fight in Soul Calibur II... hmmm...

*Picks up Hiroshoto and sets him in front of the SCII Machine in the bar, and procedes to beat the living hell out of him with Maxi! [:-splat]*

*M enters a bar and looks how a Hiro is beaten by a Social poison.*
*M sits on a chair and watcjs the hillarious beating*

*laughs as M didn't use teh ranch!*

"HAHAHAHAHAHA"

*yells out I WILL PWN YOU M!*

"I WILL PWN YOU M!"

*grabs a saw and cuts a hole under M's chair. M falls a long, long, long way*

*M still fals down but M reallises that he is in the matrix and starts to fly up like Neo. Then M flye's to NC and starts to kick him with some matrix movement. Then M after making a salad of Night Cabbadge eats it with italian dressing.*

Bah, still not ranch!

Well bah.

this soldat bar topic is getting oooollllllldddddd

Don't say.

* Hiroshto throws down smoke bomb, but instead of disapearing, runs out gets out 2 katanas & does his notorious Slice & Dice technique used only Hiro's Sushi Bar*

- Yet again... I have cut down another worthless object -

* Hiro gets chunks of SP & puts it in the salad, then turns to M*

- You think is funny!? huh!? - (In pidgeon ingrish)

* Hiro takes the Salad & empties it over M's head*

- This now is funny -

* Hiro pulls out a can of lemon tea & downs it in one go*

- I am needed elsewhere -

* Hiro throws down a smoke bomb & is gone after the smoke clears*

*Then M takes away the salad.*
M: WTF did you do that for i was hungry. Why?
*Hits Hiro*
M: Why? Why?
*Hits hiro on each "why")
M: Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
(After 20 minutes hiro cries out loud but M continiues with "why")
(After another 50 minutes Hiro dies)
M: Bitch.

*Mossy still behind bar, as bartender*
Mossy: Wow... This buisness sucks...
*Picks up phone and orders some body guards to guard the bar as if it were some sort of Mafia hide out type of thing.*
Mossy: Is nobody hungry? Thirsty?
Mossy: ...
Mossy: Why don't you all just shoot the hell outa eachother in the YMCA or something?
*Sits back in a rocking chair with a beer in his hands. Watches the pole dancers as they warm up for the party tonight(leftovers from M's massacre of the pretty ladies)(except these pole dancers dont' dress up as gays)*
Mossy: Yawn...

*M gets out of the bar and later gets in with a flamethrower and burns everyone in the bar and the bar itself. And M goes away.*

If you hadn't noticed, I had already left

M: Well then i will burn you too.
*M fires with the flamethrower at Hiro and hiro burns and dies.*

*is out side sniping people* (not a camper in game)

*M sees that a sniper is on a roof and shoots with law and kills him.*
M: Umm i killed Fusion.

*rreturns with deagles and shoots the hell out of M steals some beers and runs to his base. MUHAHAHAHAHA

*M respawns and goes to his base with a large heavy army.*
*M and his army destroys the hell out of the base and kills Fusion.*

OMFG
This thread is sticky! Who did THAT?
*Shoots M, btw.*

*Gives up and makes peace with M*

*GF comes in the bar
GF: yeah i have 100 posts

*M respawns and kills landstreicher.*
*Then M goes to Fusion and says agreed.*
*As they shake Fusion takes of the dumy hand of M but that was an grenade and Fusion explodes.*
*M laughs very hard and dies because of too much laughing.*

*respawns, tells M dude thats not right*
*throws nade inside bar and runs, and was never saw at the bar till page 18*
(LOL)

WOOOHOOOO BEER[:-drunk] *brings out the beer bong* *as everyone chants* CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!! woooo lol

*M is respawning and gets in the bar*
*M sees everyone is killed and goes to the bar.*
M:WOOT? FREE COKE.
*M drinks some coke.

I use jetpack shoe's to fly into large buildings

*M sees someone flying and leaves him alone.*
M: I will kill him later now i want to drink.

*souza sees the guy m didn't kill so goes after him :P
*souza switches to law
*souza flies to bar top
*souza fires law
*souza hits bar (sometimes it happens)
*guy that flew starts laughing
*souza gets mad
*souza calls the mob and gets the guy killed
*souza climbs down from top of bar and has a Black Russian

*M is confused of Souza and kills hime with sniper.*

*souza is a bit laggy so he doesn't die (!)
*souza kills M with and headshot from knife souza picked up on the ground and replaced the old law

*M respawns.*
M: But i hit you asshole.
*M sees that he use hacks and uses a ban hack so Souza is banned.*
M: That shoul'd do it.

choco enters the bar and looks around cautiously
choco: invites in his small army that look like riot police with m79s and barrets and kills everyone
(note m is masacred)
Choco: picks up pred bonus.....muahahahhahahaa
choco: picks up several beers cokes and bags of peenuts dumps them in his getaway truck and has one of his men take it to the base while he gets more errrrr supplies

Weed enters the bar, stop the fighting, says hello to the bartender, to the girls dancing topless on the tables, takes off his shoes, and walks over the northern corner of the club, where all the dudes sit on the carpet and smoke good weed, looks at the ppl in the bar and says:"let the party start!" hits some joint, gets up, walks over the jukebox, does his trick of hiting it on the back with the knee, and chooses his song: "Rammstein - Bestrafe Mich"...

*M enters the bar.*
*M kills all of the choco army memebers including choco himself.*
*Then M sees weed somkes weed.*
*M exists the bar and starts a fire in the bar and the bar crashes down in flames.*

*bar reforms and Fusion walks in and yells: IM BAK. And just goes to sit down and talk about the clan with silent*

*Cold Fusion blows a hole in the wall leading to the Bar*
*Cold Fusion sees Fusion*
*Cold Fusion freezes Fusion and then shatters Fusion by hitting him with a spoon*
*Cold Fusion leaves*

*M tries to kick cold fusion ass but M's leeg freezes.*
M: WTF.
*Cold Fusion turns around and freezes M to death*

*souza respawns
*souza sets enough C-4 charges to blow up THE BAR 10 times and leaves..
*souza laughs (evil laugh)

*M respawns*
*M watches the fire works.*
M: This has to be the bar.
*M goes to the bar and nothing is left in the radious of 100 M.*
M: This had to be a big ass explusion.
*M respawns the bar.*

*mak89gt enters with some communist naxal guerillas. they jump to cut M's throat*
M: MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!
guerilla 1:join us or die
*M pea's in his pants and tries to speak, but cant*
*M gets cut*
*mak89gt and guerillas kill surprised 'audience'. nobody is spared*
mak89gt: that should do it.
*mak89gt and guerillas leave before anyone respawns*

*M jumps before mak89gt and guerrila.*
mak89gt: What the... I killed you.
M: That was mine clone.
*Then 50 M clones comes all with weapons*
*Then mak89gt and his guerrila group starts to scream.*
*Then mak89gt and his group of gerrilas are massacered.*

*souza reappears
*souza talks to the Japanese MAfia and hires a killer to kill M
*souza enters the bar
*souza has a couple of shots
*souza begins to see everything doubled
*someone enters the bar
*souza shoots at the wrong person
*souza is killed by himself (m79)

*M kills the guy send by Souza*
*M fires at the spawning place where souza respawns*
*Souza is spawn killed*
*M then blows up from his grenade.*
M: Damn.

I am HIROSHlTO of the Japanese Yakuza !

* Hiro gets out his Katana & spawn kills " M " 2 dozen times *

Hiro: My job is done, I want my pay! but I'll accept lemon tea instead

* "M" gets pissed off & ping kicks Hiro, then comes back *

*As M kicks Hiro and ban him Hiro dissapears.*
*Then M as M is M everyone to be M.*
*So M is going for M to be a M so M will be darn M.*
*Then M sees a M guy that is a M to M the M's.*

Lumpy ferret...logs on to the soldat website...after not going on for ages...
And stumbles upon...the 18th page...of what looks like a very lame game...

He gets into "character" and tries 2 be lame along with everyone else.

*Hi guys.. LOL...what R u PLAYNNN???? im 1337 (look im WRITING LEET..behold my coolness)*
the bar goes silent...
even the mak89gt and M stop talking! (wau)
*i pull out my haxor gun..which i LOVVE using..because it makes me feel like such a MAN*
*and start firing THOUSANDS OF m79 bULLETS EVERYWHEREEEE YEAHHH*
BOOM BANGGGGG WHEEEE YEAHHH>>..IM ALMOST CRYING>>>IM SO COOL!! THIS IS the best Moment of my lIFEE YEAH WOOOO*
*wow i bet everyone thinks im like uMM>...oh...the best player ever =D*
just as i was blasting everyone away..that was trying 2 hunt me down..dunno why they would be going after me....maby they want 2 be cool...*
*suddenly*
OH MY?? whats this....cheating..is....is....oh no....REALLY GAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! (really GAY)
something else gay comes 2 mind.. but i just cant..quite....hmm..
oh thats right..this game!!!
har har...
*leaves the bar*

silence falls upon the bar....once again...
untill someone in the back whispers to himself
"wau,,,hes good"

M: Oh no Lumpah is back.
*M takes a gun and kills himelf not to be on this cruel world.*
*M respawns.*
M: Oh [:-censored].

*scince the map is CTF*
*lumpy decides to spawn camp*
*BANG>...M is utterly DESTROYED*
THINK OF THE MIGHTY SKILL THAT WAS NEEDED 2 CLAIM THAT KILL!!!!*

Ps...POST SCRIPTT>.
everyone [:-censored]s there pants in fear..and lumpy is titled as
THE WINNER!!!!!
yay!

*souza packs up with lots and lots and lots of nades :]*
*souza thorws them all as he picks even more nades*
*souza tries to run*
*souza is caught in the blast and the whole place is torn apart*
*BAR RESPAWNS*

bar respawns..exept souza is still dead..because he killed himself.and has 2 wait longer..

*M spawns and sees the whole place is raped down.*
M: WTF.
*M spawns the whole city with all of the poeples and cars and everything.*
*M becomes a major of the city named M'nian.*
*Then M destroys the Soldat bar and builds a large airport on that area.*
*M gets an award for the best city in the world.*
*Everywhere writes that M is teh leetoz.*
*Even Michal gave me the 1.3 and 1.4.*

*M wakes up on the road everything like before.*
M: Damn it was so real. Why it isn't real.
*M gets mad and blows the world up.*

not this again

*M spawns at another world.*

LOLOLOL! M that was cooool!
*Souza respawns after being killed by himself*
*souza sends his little monkey (avatar) to go and kill everybody*
*souza gives him health potions so the monkey never dies :P*
*souza relaxes*
*after everybody is killed, souza calls the monkey*
*- it's too risky outside so the monkey will never come back again to the real world*
*souza shoots himself with knife*

*M kills himself with a knife and respawns bac on earth.*
*M sees that this time Earth was really raped.*
M: Omg
*M tries to spawn cars, peoples, forests, animals, buldings, everything back but M explodes.*
*But when M explodes he makes every avatar in the soldat forum to relive.*

*suddenly*
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lumpy ferret APPEARS....
"YOU>>ARE ALL MINEEEEEEE"
*and powers up into*
"SOOOPARROOOOO 1.05b MOOODEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

lumpy starts slugging people down left and right...JUMPING!!!! oh MY>>
WEAVING .....OH MY!!!
DUCKING AND SHOOTING AND KILLING>>>OH MYYYYYY!!!!!!!
M comes up to him...EXEPT HE CANT PLAY SOLDAT TO SAVE HIS LIFE>..
Lumpy runs towards him firing his ak74...and then runs past him...Turning and running backwards to fire on M's LIFELeSS CORPSE>>MOAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

Lumpyferet..decides to POWER UP again!!!!..
and this time...goes into...
"SUPER AIRIAL ATTACK HAMTARO MODEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

lumpy hovers over his unsuspecting victims pumping ROUND AFTER ROUND into there JUICY RIPE SKULLS!

then.......all is silent...exept for the soft moans of the dying...
bodys strewn about the battlefeild..

lumpy lays down his weapon..
for the killing had ended for that day..

*Spitzfiya Spawns in wall*
10-16-2003 8:38:43 PM Spitzfiya / himself
*Spitzfiya Spawns in Trash can*
10-16-2003 8:40:49 PM Spitzfiya / himself
*Spitzfiya Spawns in Lumpys vagina*
10-16-2003 8:41:07 PM Spitzfiya / himself
*Spitzfiya Spawns in SP's drink*
10-16-2003 8:41:23 PM Spitzfiya / himself
*Spitzfiya Leaves the game*

[Off topic]
Lol spitzfuya that was funny. LOL.
[/Offtopic]

*M spawns in the Lumpy anal canal.*
*M sets 100 dynamites in htere.*
*Lumpy ass explodes.*
*M respawns back and sees a big red hole in Lumpy.*
*M continiues to kill everyone in the city.*

Poor lumpy!

Lumpy turns into a little dog..
woof woof..>look at me!!!!!
im a little dog...WOOF.......WOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF!

*M runs to the doggy and trhows hima dinamit*
*The dog takes it and goes back to me*
M: Oh shi....
*BOOOOM*
*Lumpy and M dies*

*respawn at http://archive.forums.soldat.pl/topic.php?topic_id=5796&whichpage=19*
*see M in it*
*/me alt+f4*

this topic, is soo old, i remember reading it a couple of months ago, in the beginning, lol, now its quite big and I cant be bothered to read all those pages, I think its the first tiem I post in here, ah well.. :)

lumpy shooty eyic in the head....
TYPE KILL...whee!

*communist guerillas under command of mak89gt enter bar again, after blowing up the quake 3 bar*
*idiotic people start shooting at each other, insane gunbattle continues...*

*M enters the bar and sees another guerrilas.*
M: Damn.
*M enters the battle and kills everyone.*
*Then M kills himself with a granade.*

*Spitzfiya Rejoins because of "Wrong map version"*
*Spitzfiya looks around to see everyone frozen at spawn"
*Spitzfiya gets kicked for "Wrong map version"*
*Spitzfiya presses Alt+F4 repetedly*
*Spitzfiya crys*

*M stays still frozen.*
*M is ping kicked.*
*Damn.*

*souza enters the game after having respawned*
*souza chooses a Browning SMG*
*Sh*T this isn't mohaa*
*souza kills himself*

*souza rerespawns*
*souza chooses minigun*
*souza flies to the edge of Soldat World*
*WEEEEEEEE I CAN FLY*
*souza causes many lag so he is ping kicked*
*F.CK!*
*souza rejoins in 15 mins and starts playing solitaire with his monkey avatar*

*M enters the game.*
M: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG
*M exits the game.*
*Then M gose to celebrate his birthday.*

* HIROSHlTO runs in & takes a can of Ice Lemon Tea then exits before being hit by the LAG *

HEH!! that woz my can of Ice Lemon tea!!!!
*lumpy picks up rampage mode*
oh wait...here it is...

*M enters in the server again.*
*M notices that there isn't any lag anymore YAY.*
*M kills Lumpah for fun.*

*souza kills himself and chooses m79*
*souza shoots up in the air and runs*
*(eheheheh)*

* HIROSHlTO finds a good sniping position on the map & opens another can of Lemon Tea *

"This is the life"

* HIROSHlTO gets out his Barret & takes out Souza before he hurts himself with his M79 *

*M goes to hiro and say to him to drop his weapon and surrender.*
*Hiro stands up and yells: DON'T SHOOT ME PLEASE DON'T KILL ME*
*M sees that hiro is really pathetic and kills him.*

*lumpyferret disgueses himself as ice tea salesman*
*Hiro[:-censored]o gets blown up by secret explosive ice tea stand*
*ice tea stand rolls down hill flattening Souza and M....then it rolls back over them again..for
further effect..*

*lumpyferret leaves*

*grenades are thrown in from the open windows*
*it is the work of mak89gt and his guerillas*
*everyone is slaughtered*

*M sees that mak and his gorrila throws out grenades.*
*M nukes that house.*
*Everyone dies in it.*
*M goes there and piss on the nuked body's.*

(lol M)
*souza enter the game*
*souza opens mp3 folder and plays "outkast - hey ya" and starts to dance, making everybody think he is crazy*
*souza takes his minigun and shoots everybody, but waits for M to finish pissing on the nuked bodies*
*souza aproaches M and stabs him with knife*
*souza says "I R TeH LeEt HaXoRz!"*
*souza has a party*

*M respawns.*
*M relives the souza monkey avatar.*
*Monkey start to shoot M.*
*Then M is spawn killed by the monkey.*
*Monkey is ping kicked.*
*M respawns and kills Souza with m79.*
*Souza explodes in pieces.*
*M makes a barbieque from the Souza blown up pieces.*
*M lies the costumer that this is a beef.*
*Everyone eats Souza meet.*

*mak89gt and querillas enter, and put M to the ground and teach him grammar. reason: see M's 2nd earliest post.*

*Walks in*
"Damn, I knever knew this bar was here!"
*Sits down with Camping Carl and enjoys some Souza meat (yum!)*
*CC tries to rape me but I pull out my trusty glock 18 and unload a full clip into his head*
"Get the F*CK off me you perverted phreak!"
*Shakes head and walks out*
"What a dissapointment"

*M stands up and do a slow motion thing and kills every guerrila in the bar.*
*Mak89gt stands there scared to hell.*
*M comes to him and stabs him with a knife.*
*Then M makes another barbieque with the mak89gt meet.*
*Everyone enjoys mak meet.*

*but mak89gt suddenly enters, alone*
*everyone looks at the meat*
*it turns out to be M's D*ck*

*Everyone except Spitzfiya starts eating M's D1ck

HA HA D1ck EATERS!

*M spawns another ....*
*M kills everyone. wh eated my ....*

*M Is the best.

*Souza repwans*
*MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MY MEAT IS POISONOUS! U ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!!*
*but that doesnt make much sense since u relive again :P*
*souza plants C4 in hidden place and watches the minutes pass....*

*M deactivates the c4 and burns souza.*

*HIROSHlTO respawns and gets out his wind-cutting katana*

*HIROSHlTO waves it in the air insanely spawnkilling everyone by wind pressure*

*M kills hiro.*

*Souza Respawns*
*souza kills M*
*souza kills himself so that nobody else kills him :PPPP*

*M respawns*
*M goes inside the bar.*
*M is shocked that there was no one allive in the bar.*
*M spawn kills Souza for fun.*

*souza Respawns with Terrorist belt *
*souza is hit by M*
*souza and M go see the little angels :PPPP*

*Then finally comes y0da!*
*Asks for a beer*
*The bartender says not for children whit green skin*
*y0da cuts off the bartenders balls whit the laser knife thing*
*And says: I'm older then u can imagine kid!*
*Then y0da looks on M and Souza*
*y0da: Damnd kids! Those youngsters...*

*M Goes to the bar again.*
*M sees Yoda from Star Wars.*
*M chalanges yoda for a saber fight.*
*Yoda jumps and attacks M.*
*M wondered takes a law and blows up yoda.*
M: Ooops sorry.
*M takes a drink from the bartender with cuted balls.*

*bullet hits M on the head while hes drinking*
*KILLED BY MAK89GT message follows..*

*M respawns.*
*M makes mak89gt to eat the bartender balls.*
*With a gun.*

*Liber Lupus walks in the bar with extrem carefully.*
*He's amazed how many ppl there are in teh bar.*
*Suddenly he hears his 50 foot doggy creature following him from home.*
*He runs out of from a bar, and looks how his doggy crushes the bar and all ppl in it.*

*y0da respawns*
*y0da gets the ruger 77 and kills Liber Lupus and his damnd dog*
*y0da whit all his powers rebuilds the bar*
*every body spawns and congratulets y0da*

*M comes to the bar and see that everyone congratulate y0da.*
*M snipes yoda and everyone attacks M.*
*M runs as fast as he can but the crowd cacthes M and beat the hell out of M.*
/Kill
*M dies.*

*TFS comes...He looks like an idiot, see's the action and decides to take a part in it*

*M has been kicked from consule*.

*me comes back to the old and loved bar :D
turns on the music
gets a screwdriver from the bartender and takes his place
sits and looks at all the others killing each other...
and laughs and laughs and laughs at them
and after all of them are dead...

*Weed wins

someone remembered i love survival mode :D

*y0da thinks of a fantastic idea, to do a flash film about soldat bar*
*y0da asks all people in the bar if its great*

*me aproves the idea
but if u gonna make a flashy weed, make him cool :D

*M kills yoda.*

*y0da spawns and cuts of M's leg*
*and eye balls*
*and finaly the head*

*M respawns.*
*M is sick of jedi's.*
*M sends yoda back to the stories.*
*yoda is no more.*

*y0da somehow spawns to the bar again*
*gets a drink*
*some sweet girl wants y0da for...*

*frogboy joins*
frogboy is ping kicked and banned for 15 minutes.
everyone else is ping kicked and banned for 15 minutes.

WTF?!>?@!>!@!@!@> STICKY?!?!>@?!l!#:l!l#:!#>l:!<>:?as<as

*runs and hide*
*takes ^cha os^ program*
*asks someone leet for a duel*


*WINS!*

*throws grenade*
*...*
*...*
*waaaah! YOU KILLED YOURSELF.*
frogboy (0)

*M kills koil.*
*Koil is fuc.king dead.*

"shouldnt you be drinking Milk?"
Milkman Dan = passed out and drowning in own vomit

*mak89gt rushes in, shootes every bullet, throws every grenade and knife*
*nobody is killed*
*connection problem*
*connection problem*
*connection problem*

*y0da is shootimg to all*
*nothing happens*
*shoots again*
*nothing*
*now he understands that everyone is from his team*
*/piss on that girl*

*Da-Cheeseman walks in*
looks around no ones here....
noones ben here for a loooong time he thinks.....
cleans the bar up puts a very big stero in and plays slipknot reaaaalllly loud....
then changes the sign on the front from closed to open ITS CHRISTMAS every one get drunk!!!!!
people start coming in as he takes up the job of bartender.....

freak

are u okay?

*M respawns.*
*M is glad to be back in the soldat bar again.*
*M sees supah.*
*M reminds supah that he is a glob mod at my forun.*
*Supah kills himself.*
*M sees a beautiful girl getting pissed by a yoda.*
*M comes there and do /piss on yoda.*
*Yoda has vanished.*
*Yoda is no more.*
*Girl thnx M.*
*M do /piss on girl.*

an air strike is called in and the bomb kills everyone, AA /piss on M

frogboy has joined the game.
frogboy has been ping kicked for 15 minutes
frogboy has joined the game.
frogboy has been kicked from console.
frogboy has joined the game.
frogboy was kicked and permanently banned.
froogboy has joined the game.
[froogboy] why are you kicking me?
froogboy was kicked and permanently banned.

Lol.

BEGINS TO EAT A CHEERRRY PIE THEN FINDS OUT ITS NOT A PIE BUT A SONG


O MY said the man living on the pizza box i want a kiss he sang! then he jumped into the cheese wondering where he was o MY was a salor guy in a happy suit he wants beer he wants a rat he wants free sex and some lube if you cant find the book bag of doom you will not get a free sega game!

if you can play sonic for 3 days you will win a ticket the ticket is used to find the place that you eat and find free shrimp he hates sea food he hates his mom but he pukes in passion! if you want a kiss from me you must shave your ass and find some lipstick

buT it can not be flavored

THEN I FOUND A SPEAKER and i FOUND MY COMPUTER AND I WROTE A LETTER TO MY UNCLE SAYING HIIIIIII AND HE SIAD HI I WANT A ROOTBEER FLOAT

SOO I KICKED THE ASS

then i jumped into the water and swam for a day and a half until i found something

and i sang some more and gave my self a hug but it looked like a bug and i got some snug AND THEN I FOUND A CARPET AND I FLEW AWAY.


I GOT SOME OF THIS PAPER

and it was free
because a bum gave it to me

then i crawled away and i was in pain

then i said hiiiii!!!

well see the thing about this is the world was not created for many differnt things but one big thing thats why..

and then that happend...

so my arm was tired form the football game and i found out i cant play football

and then soccer

hi i said

then i swam
then i said hi!

and i found the sign in my backyard it said penis soup

and it said nasty and a girl was licking it.... she said it was good
i didnt belive her so i kicked her ass.... then

i went into the desert and you have to find me guys

*M has his head explode.*
*M is mad at Camping Carl.*
*M finds Camping Carl in the desert and burns him with flamethrower.*
*CC dies.*
*M is h@pi.*

frogboy has joined the game!
frogboy has joined the game!
frogboy has joined the game!
frogboy has joined the game!
frogboy has joined the game!
frogboy has joined the game!
frogboy has joined the game!
frogboy has disconnected.
[frogboy]Er... what? Damn spawnkillers

Super Llama has joined the bar!
[Super Llama] Heyyyyy
Super Llama captured the red beer!
[RobertDinvo] lol
r0x0rin0 returned the red beer!
[r0x0rin0] omg n00b
[Super Llama] wtf?
r0x0rin0 has left the bar.
[Super Llama] lol pussy
Super Llama has joined the bar!
[Super Llama] I'm a moron!
[Super Llama] Wtf
[Super Llama] Get off my name
Super Llama has been kicked from console.
Super Llama has been kicked from console.
Super Llama has joined the bar!
[Super Llama] wtf, is any of this making sense? what the hell does this have to do with a Soldat Tavern :/
Super Llama has left the bar.

[:-censored]s M hard

*y0da joins game*
*y0da goes to the storage of the bar*
*he sees a hot&horny women*
*he does that, what every guy is doing when he sees a horny&hot women*
*y0da asks her name*
*she says Dillon-forum bot*
*y0da runs from the storage screeming:AAAAAAAaaaaaaa!*
*y0da returns for a beer*
*y0da kills Dillon*
*Dillon is no more*

Lol.

*M makes MBot alive.*
*M tells MBot to kill.*
*M is killed by MBot.*
*M respawns.
M: Why the [:-censored] you killed me? I am your botmaster.
MBot: {[M]} is my bot master.
*M is killed*

watches tv

Spams the forum.



J/K

Tells a joke

Spanks a poodle

kills a dog

eats a dog

eats some cheese for cheesey powers

Eats eyic.

Ooops.

walks into bar... take drink... roll dice... fumbel, damn! spills drink all over the place, bartender gets aggresive... tells me to get out of here or else something bad is going to happen... persuasion... roll dice... perfect, the bartender offer free drinks all around the table...

M takes teh drink and dies from acid perticipation.

i make an entire check on the item m is wearing... and i found: flask, scroll of funny painting and a gigantic M

*choco joins game*
*weapons menu active*
*picks ak74*
*grabs a bottle of coke and a shot of vodka*
*gulps down vodka and drinks coke realy fast*
*waits a minute........BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPP*

ah very good

*falls over and ak starts shooting*
*choco bot joins game*
YOU KILLED CHOCOBOT
choco bot "BLEEEEP spawn killer!!"
*reloads*
*choco gets up and asks for another shot and a new bottle of coke*
*drinks both very fast and burps again*
*is now very drunk and has a fully loaded ak74*

*explodes*

*M respawns.*
*M Kills 2k34o and takes my stuff back.*
*M is wounded by choco.*
*M is very mad and blows choco up.*
*M is happy*

Frogboy has joined the game!
[Frogboy] Woah... 900 ping. This new netcode sucks
Frogboy has been ping kicked for 15 minutes.

*M is being ready to be ing kicked.*
M: WTF?
*M is ping kicked.*

*souza enters the bar*
*souza fires m79 and is blown away (m79 shot)*
*souza says: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! and drops 50 cents and finds his mobile that was stolen tuesday!*

Lol.

*M enters in the server.*
*M just shoots in teh sky like that.*
*Souza falls over M.*
*M gets a brain stress.

[Akai|FrogboY]I cheat.
Akai|FrogboY has been kicked for 'possible cheating'.

*M says*
M: No i don't cheat.
*M is kicked for cehating.*
*M joins game*
M: But i don't cheat.
*M is kicked and permamently banned for cheating.*

*y0da is cheating whit the speed hack*
*y0da gets a reward from Michal and a vacation in his house for cheating ;]*

Lol.

*M enters in the game.*
*M is kicked again.*
*M is mad.*
*M enter in the game.*
M: Eat this.
*M bans Admin.*
M: Bahahaha.
*Server disconnected.*

Enters Bar*

n00b rips off Janet Jackson's shirt

Janet Jackson: oops! Thats my tity

Mossy: Man! that family is WACK!

*M comes to the bar.*
*M sees a tity and dies from excitment.*

the end

*M respawns.*
*M kills Superkill*
M: Die.
*Superkill is kicked banned.*

suddenly this misteryous guy walks in the bar (me)
dressed totaly black with a trench coat and blonde hairs

get's something out of his jacket, it are 2 DE's

then he start shooting everybody, the only one who stais alive is the bartender,

this man walks towards him and asks him where michal is,

the bartender doesnt respond, so he kills him in cold blood...

Mossy: phhhhh DEs are for tity watchers

*pulls out spas and pumps sativa over the counter and into shattering mirrors from behind, lobs a granade behind counter and watches the area dissinegrate. Goes back into the stock and swipes a bottle a wine and watches the news talk about a tity while the country is without jobs and guys are dieing daily overseas.

Mossy: what a pathetic world this is!

but wtf sativa rises from the dead as an allie from the devil and with the help of 666 he blasts mossy into a bloody waste with and m79

*M is congused and does /Mercy.

*Souza respawns*
*souza blows the bar with the law, jumps and flies with m79 jump going to crash at area 51*
*a UFO! they say*
*souza digs a hole and throws all nades into the hole*
*souza uses m79 jump to go to another planet*
*world ends*
*souza listens to Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue eyes*
*MUAHAHAHAHAH!

but wtf suddenly The Bodyguard respanws next to souza and kills him with a head shot (with DE's ofcourse) and let's The devil block all spawnplaces

*M respawns*
*M sees Souza's head.*
*M decides to play soccer.*
*M hits souza head and souza head hits stativa.*
*Sativa's head blows off.*
*M is happy.*

Akai|Frogizzle has joined the game!
M has been kicked from console.
Server disconnected.

*M joins game.*
*M hacks server.*
*M becomes Admin.*
*FroG-BoY has been kicked by console.*
M: That is better.

the end II

M: Supah cut the crap.
*M bans SuperKill.*

*j0e enters the game

j0e: wheres mah bi.tches?
*spots M,

j0e: there u are hoe

*shoves a minigun up M's ass and asks him to giggle.

:P

then The bodyguard respawns again, shoots GIJOE and then ataches some grenades to M and lets him walk forward to the respawn point and just when gijoi respawns BOOOOOOEEEEEEEMM

*M respawns.*
*M takes gi.joe loads him with clusters and throws him at sativa.*
*KABOOM TRATATATA.*
*M then sets C4's at the spawn place.*
*Sativa and gi.joe respawns.*
*M turn teh C4 on and:
KAMEHAAAAMEHAAA BAUMRATATATA PUFFF RUFFF KRSHHHHH.
*Large hole at the spawn palce plus spawn place destroyed so no one can't respawn isntead a spawn place 1000 Miles away from here.*
M: PWNED

*pokes head into door to see whats goin on in the room...
"HEEEYY, ANY1 GOT ANY DRINKS IN HERE? HERD THIS WAS A BAR!

[SERVER MESSAGE]Uh... M, how can you join the game if the server is DISCONNECTED!?
M has been kicked from console
[SERVER MESSAGE]M.n00binternet.org has been added to the bans list.
Server Disconnected.

*M bans FroG-BoY for typing spam in server.*

SERVER DISCONNECTED! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND! SERVER, OR DISCONNECTED!?

*M bans FroG-BoY Again and sets him to ignore on this thread.

Mr.t walks into the bar and leaves with 15 beautiful ladies!

*y0da attacks mr.t and...

The Bodyguard get's all the ladies ;)

*M then shoot the body guards and grabs the lady with helicopter.*
*M fly's away to Hawai*

mr.t picks himself up off the floor and urinates all over yoda face.
then he goes into the loo for a [:-censored]....

whyle the bodyguar respanws and shoots down M with a law

*M respawns.
*M sends the body guard to shoot sativa.
*Sative is shootn tehn body guard is wshooten by M.

sativa is the bodyguard u foo'(read signature)

sparks a doob..........[;)]

Admin Connected.
/ban M
M has been kicked by console.
/ban mr. t
mr. t has been kicked by console.
/ban sativa
sativa has been kicked by console.
/ban yoda
yoda has been kicked by console.
/ban DizzyTea
DizzyTea has been kicked by console.
/password **********

The Bodyguard connects as admin (with remote admin)
/password **********

kicks the former admin and changes the pasword

M
/password **********
Connects
M connects as remote admin.
M bans Frog-Boy
M unbans others
/Setpassword

qtR` kills M.

M kills qtR' and bans.

j0e~ twiddles his thumbs idly

M000

quote:Originally posted by M
M
/password **********
Connects
M connects as remote admin.
M bans Frog-Boy
M unbans others
/Setpassword


Shows how much you know about server commands...[:-banghead]

/adminlog **********
Stalky is added to remote admin list
/say M is gay
/adminpass ******
Stalky left the game

Pwned...[B)]

quote:Originally posted by M
*M then shoot the body guards and grabs the lady with helicopter.*
*M fly's away to Hawai*


*JaZzMaN was payin' attention, and he noticed that M just toke one lady, he takes the other 14 with him... To play Soldat 1.2 WITH FIX.*

bumbumbumb BUMb BUM BUM DADAD ADADAD CHeeessseeeemmmmmaaaannnn comes in
-all the girls go *look at him* i wanna fuk him
lalalalalala alalalalla
*cheeseman does sumthing*
alalalalalalalalalalalal hmmmmmm alalalallaalalallllllllala
SUPERMAN HAD A BROTHER>>>>he WAS DA CHEESEMAN bumbumbum
*cheeseman get drunk*

you prolly dreamed that :S

you were prolly in his dream

Ace bursts through the door with a dynomite pack strapped to his back and blows the whole place up...........

*RESPAWN*

Ace comes back into the room, sits down, and drinks a beer....alone.

*Passes gas and waves it towards Soldier-Ace*

~HEADSHOT!

*y0da is back*

wow i'm scared

yeah i wud be if i was you.. the gas from einsateafrdasf's ass is heading ur way ...

i'm immune to any sort of farting,smelly [:-censored], or poison..... i lost the nevers of my nouse long time ago

*i say:"make a CTF - not realistic"*
*bar made a CTF game*
*y0da is joining game*
*server full*

*Droopy walk's in the bar*
*look's around*
*Goes to the bartender and say's: "Bark Bark Woof Woof Bark"*
*Sit's down with a beer he just got*
*Drink's teh beer*
(The juebox is playing some cheasy country music)
*Walk's out of the bar*
(minutes later)
*Fire's a shot and hit's some guy in the bar from the jungle(yea the map) 2 miles away*
*His camping and barretard skillz make the bullet go trough the guy who just died and left the server(!), not brakeing the window and hitting the record that was playing without touching the juebox*
*After comeing back to the bar he changes the music to Rage Against the Machine - Bulls on Parade*
*The Bartender walk's to him and ask's: "Why the fux0r did u do that"*
*Droopy streches his hand almost hitting his face saying: "Talk to the hand!"*


(I hate country music)

Then Skatedevil walks in, nobody sees him because there all drunk,
then skatedevil puts Dynamite under a table and runs away, 2 mins later all blows up!


So now, nobody that already posted can post again because there all dead!

* CracK has joined #Soldat.Bar
CracK Smashes stuff cuz he finds chak dead.
CracK Notices all respawn with barret.
CracK and Chak eskapes.
CracK and Chak get shot.
<CracK> Back to the bar...
<Chak> :'(

*me comes in, takes down his pants, and starts [:-censored]ting in the bar, all the food and drinks turn brown coz he has a bad diarreah, everyone runs away, and he closes the bar forever.

*** Topic Locked***











































ROFL!

3 week's later...

Droopy, still shocked from Weed's behavior, crawls from benith teh table and notices that he's the only guy in the closed bar! He sits down thinks for a moment and figures out that he's going to stay in the bar forever since Weed nailed the windows down. Well at least there's a 16783742 botles of beer and Jager in the storage room, so there's no need to panic that he's going to dry himself up...

*M gets shocked from Weed and smokes some Weed.

*Kein comes in. Orders a glass of sterilisied milk. Gets an allergic reaction and chokes.*

*blan enters the bar, looks around and says: "oh fuk this Im not reading all this shiznit"*
*blan leaves*

*<<x Noobile x>> has joined Alpha team*
<<x Noobile x>> 'How are you gentlemen?'
<<x Noobile x>> 'All your base are belong to us!'
<<x Noobile x>> 'You are on the way to destruction!'
<<x Noobile x>> 'You have no chance to survive, Make your time'
<<x Noobile x>> 'HA HA HA'
*killed by barrettard*
*Boowow ( respawn noise.... )*
*stabs barrettard as he runs up to me*
*sits down with a snifter of cognac, and his pipe*
*waits for barrettard to respawn*

*Teh DeMoNic comes in... looks around... gets drunk... and as he is surfing in his alcoholic dreams, a sign appears above his head: www.vgreality.com/hammer.php *

*Ville Mk.2 walks in for first time. Looks around. Walks out for the first and last time.*

/me enters the bar
Alamo: Milk.
Everyone looks at Alamo as if he was an outcast.
Alamo looks around.
Alamo: In a dirty glass!
Everyone turns back to their things as if nothing happened.

*walks in the bar and gazes at all the ppl here he recognizes some of them but sees no women...Hes rather dissapointed as he sits down on a bar chair and order some hard sake to calm his nerves. He also whipes the blood off his face from a previous battle. He looks at his cup and it has a lol on it. Hmm he thinks to himself this gettin pretty popular..He takes a look at alamo drinking milk and shakes his head.*

*looks at Hiei*
Alamo: Y'know, Mr.T says milk is good. Even the famous MM drinks Milk, at least he says that.
... Would you mind taking that cup out? I want that at home :)

*looks at Alamo*
b0rg: you know retard? stop mentioning mr.t he is [:-censored]ing badass.

*BBG walks into the bar full of sweaty soldat mens.*
"mmmm so many man warriors in here."
before he can do anything else he takes a quick picture of NOOBLIE and WEED as they rush up to say hi.
[IMAGE]

*cup reminds BBG this aint a gay bar and tells him to go to the Leiro forum. Thats where you want to be*

aww cuppy, loosen up buddy.
*BBG buys cup o squirrels, WEED and NOOBILE A FEW ROUNDS. soon cuppy gets caught up in the vibe and is feelin good. cup o squirrels looks over at WEED.*

[IMAGE]

...and smashes him over the head with a chair! BAR FIGHT! BBG gets scared and runs away crying.

ooc: where the hell are you getting those pictures?!

*cup drinks, then wonders if he should introduce BBG to Omena*

*BAR FIGHT!!!! BBG runs to frogboy to help. frogboy(in white T-shirt) goes to stop the brawl!*

[IMAGE]

frogboy looks sober and handsome


{first post here}

yes the bar lives!

*i come in, and buy cheese on rye to eat*

*the cheese is moldy*

i kill the bartender and become the new one

*/me stands up, shoots bbg in the face with his spas*
*sits down*
"stop trying"
*continues drinking coffee*

/me cries

War is bad :(

*joins in*

*U13 walks into the bar for the first time. Trys to go up to the bartender, but everyones body stretches* "bloody lag" *walks through the big fight and gets lots of bullets through him*
*respawns outside the soldat bar*
*thinks that the fight looks fun and gets out a minimi* *BANG* *head blown off*
*respawns outside the soldat bar*
*avoids the fight and pisses in Noobiles coffee*

(Noobile decides the next move)

/me walks in to the bar and sits down on the one of the bar stools

Melba: One milk. i'm so thirsty i could lick the balls of an ox!
BBG is sitting in the back of the bar listening. suddenly he shouts out: " mOO mOO mOO "

*i hack the bar and shut it down, restarting it

BBG takes NOOBLIES SHOT right to the chin, no effect. "good thing i have my FLAMER GOD MODE on." trying? i was born sexy, i don't have to try. anyways, look at you. your sitting in the corner alone drinking coffee, talking talking to a FAG. come on you guys, lets cheer NOOBLIE up. cup of squirrels and Melba bro up with NOOBILE as i take this next shot.

[IMAGE]

*spidey sense tingles around coffee*
/me dumps u13's piss coffee all over bbg's flamer armor, and rusts it to his butt
/me laughs at bbg, cuz he can't get any from cr4ck,b0rg,or whatever his name is today.
/ignore bbg
votekick bbg
*invokes admin*
/kick bbg
*bbg has left the bar*
*chuckles mightliy at u13 and buy's him a round of whatever his poison is*

*Thanks Noobile for the drink* *dies after getting shot again from the ongoing fight*
*RESPAWN*
*takes out the LAW and blows the crap out of the fighters, goes up to the bartender and buys a whole load of teqilla and starts singing "One tequilla, two tequilla" while drinking*

*NOOBLIE has his sexy gaze fixed on unlucky 13.*
WEED pipes up, "maybe your luck has at last changed buddy. you'll get some from NOOBLIE for sure tonight."
*while these two horny beasts trade manly jokes, tranny spears walks up. NOOBLIE in such a huff grabs BBG's camera and has to take a snap shot.*

[IMAGE]

*drinks his coffee at the bar (still...) wonders aloud to u13 what bbg is up to*
"prolly after that cr4ckhead again"



silly fag, [:-censored]s are for chicks.

*answers to noobile*"errrrrrrrrrrrrr.... umm..."*faints*

*shrugs, and continues drinking coffee*

Demoonic parks his Rofflesaurus next to the bar..comes in, forgeting that he is already here..checks out the situation..
-OMFUX-he starts to talk in 1337 language-This MUST stop!
He pulls out his trusty desert eagle-glock-grandmother hybrid gun, and aims at bbg...
-Any last words?-he asks, while taking up a Clint Eastwood fearless-position...

But then /me suddenly aims at DeMonIc's hand and shoots the gun out of it, but the gun has bounced on the floor witch caused it to fire at /me's left leg.

Come to think of it...I forgot to make a an entrance...oh well, my leg is bleedin bad. Aou!

/me slowly turns towards Darksider...
-U'll regret that little man...
*Jedi style gun-to hand trick*
Aims at Darksider's left eye....
-Dodge this...
*shoot whit dramatical slowage*

And then I said to him that...what?...we're on air?...(runs to his place)...sorry.

/me: I shall not be damaged again! Because I have a secret weapon in my hand what deflects any bullets, rock, asteroids and such. My secret weapon i...wea.....isaw...krsrsrsrsrsrsrsr...............

(I hate satelite broadcast!!!)

We interupt this program with an urgent message: Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

*wakes up, moans and vomits all over the floor. Then gets out a socom and blasts his head off*
*RESPAWNS*
*goes back into the bar. everyone stares at him* "what? suiside sobers me, you try!"*walks back to noobile and says*"bbg's camera looks nice, keep it! or can i have it? nvm"*goes to the bartender and orders a coffee*"i'm playing safe now..."

*y0da invites every1 to look at his new comic here*

Previously on Soldat bar:
An evil man named DemonChest or whatever shotted at DarkDude who's in big trouble, but has a secret thingy in his hand. The dramaticly slowed down bullet is heading to DarkGuy, but he has...

LightSider - "Take this! A picture of Avril Lavigne WITHOUT a makeup! "pampampaaaaaaaaaam!" + [URL] Not one bullet can pierce into this one! HAHAHA! + inser scream voice here


Ps.:Darksider is just [:-bigeyes2] at that comic because it's so [|)]

*Social Poison staggers back into the bar, clearly already drunk*

Hey peeps... you enjoyin' the bar?

*walks face first into the Jukebox*

Who put this crap on...?

*Changes it to NOFX - The War on Errorism"

*BBG leans back in his char and watches Social Poison(left) and Weed get jiggy.

[IMAGE]

* me joins in the dancing * YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

*walks in the bar*

"didnt I blow up this like 3 month's ago? Ah well"

*the bar blows up, Droopy ascapes and becomes the admin (yay)*

*social poison calls a bar respawn* :P

/restart

*Toumaz slaps Droopy* Thou shalst not be thy hounored bar admihn! Or i wilst pwn joo :)

*gun loads*

*Toumaz and Unlucky 13 wallop Droopy whit bullets*

"HAH!"

*me pwns droopy with ak-74 then stabs my knife in a no-no-part of his body*
*blood in the drinks & beers & the jukebox & over the whole fuking bar*
"HARRRRRRRR!"

*me uses Socom on his dead body and shoots til it is out of bullets. then uses a nade and blows droopy's body to the moon, him being the first dead man on the moon*

Heh!

/me grabs a sheet of paper and walks up to the guys who attack/ed Droopy (his revolutionary friend). /me takes the sheet and holds it in front of those guys eyes.
"Take this: a CC story!"
They see it, start to choke and become blue and then fall to the ground.

PWND!

*me respawns*
*me apologiese to droopy, who respawns and pwns me*
*me respawns*
*Killed By Droopy*
*me respawns*

*Killed By Droopy*
*me respawns*

*Killed By Droopy*
*me respawns*

*Killed By Droopy*
*me respawns*

*Killed By Droopy*
*me respawns*

"STOP IT"

*Killed By Droopy*

*me respawns*
"For [:-censored]S SAKE! STO..."

*Killed By Droopy*

/me sneaks up to Droopy, rips his head off with a knife and waits for Unlucky 13 to respawn.

*me orders a bottle of Coke*
*Droopy's head hits y0da*
*y0da spits out the Coke and gets a hiccup*
*y0da breaks "hic" the bottle on "hic" Alamo's head*

/me gets out his colts Minimi and challenges y0da for a duel that does not mean anything.

"Meet you at high noon at the main street!"

quote:"Meet you at high noon at the main street!""Yeah buddy, I'll be there" *John Kerry smile*

*/me respawns*
"what do you want now, milky?"

/me goes in front of Alamo
"Don't mess..."
/me whispers to Unlucky 13
"Let's pwn them all... come up with a plan."

Jack2 approaches the Soldat bar. Suddenly he hears a lot of shooting and dying voices inside. He keeps his weapon [AK-74] ready. He opens the door. He enters.

Jack2 says to himself:looks like this a place where is not good to get too much attention.

He sits and orders cold milk, when he finds out that there is no milk left in this bar.

He buys a cow from the nearby farm and gives it as a present to the owner. Now he can get his precious milk, yipii! [:D]

He whould drink the milk but there was too many dead bodies on the floor that he lost his appetite.[:-grumpy] Then he starts a conversation with Unlucky 13 about Soldat and Deus Ex.

/me joins in the conversation about Deus Ex and says that the second part was great but too simplified. And that the original Deus Ex is one of the best games he ever played.

/me wonders wtf Deus Ex is

/me comes up with a plan
"Toumaz! Psst! I have a plan! We walk away slowly and... BAM! we blow them all up with any gun"
Toumaz: "SHHH! Not so loud"
/me finds everyone looking at me and Toumaz
"eheheh...err...hello? heh..."

sorry guys, server is off for now.
/quit

*Bashs head on the bar table*

/me helps _Mancer_ bash his head on the table [:-banghead]

/me tells them: Quiet! There are others here than you 2.

Unlucky and Mancer still continue bashing Mancers head.

/me puts the bars jukebox on and plays in full volume: Let the bodys hit the floor. Now he cant hear the bashing sound.

[IMAGE]

/me bashes Jack2's head through the jukebox, then continues helping Mancer. Every one can hear the bashing :P

*Me resapwns after some time not being to teh bar.*
*Me is seeing that the bar thread has gone into a killing thread.*
*Me is going on a rampage with dual M79'erz.*

/me says "Holy flying [:-censored]s! its M!" and everyone goes up to m and crushes him... with huggles!

*Me chokes to death.*
*Me respawns.*
*Me is mad.*
*Me is making all of the lives in here miserable.*
Me: 4|-|4|-|4|-|4|-|4|-|4|-|4|-|4|-|4|-|4|-| `/00 4|23 P\/\/|\|3|)

*spawns*
Brings in compuer, sits, orders a beer, sets up wireless internet, sets up webcab, puts on bigscreen*
Soldat Bar is now an online webcam 24/7*
everything is set up in a secure room, but cameras in the bar*

Mossy, "so, wwaazzzupp!!!"

/Me looks at mossy, says "eh, like you dont know?" then continues bashing Mancers head on the table, which has come undone from the body and is covered in blood

/me pulls out a Minimi and frags all the cameras.

/me: Whips out a flyswatter and wacks Unlucky ont he face*

/me throws a dirty look at mancer's head, and stops bashing. instead, i throw it out the window...

/me Since my head is attached to my body, I fly out the window with it. In an act of rage I angrily kick the cement wall of the bar, busting my foot embarassingly. Then I just walk inside and sit down like this never happened.

/me laughs as if everything always happens

/me orders a coffee and instead of the lol on the cup there's an ugly w00t with small legs on it. Me is surprised and asks the bartender where the lols have gone.
Bartender: 'lols have become uncool'
/me whines bitterly

/me walks into bar



"Ouch!"

lol

/me goes up to bartender, shoots him, takes a can of spray paint and writes "LOL's are TOPS" on every place I see, and draw LOL's everywhere!!!

/me joins in and sprays everywhere

/me also joins, blasts Du Hast loudly, then goes insane with a pair of deagles.

/me turns to LazehBoi and tells him his appreciation for the music.
"New Rammstein records suck"

/me picks his nose

/me sprays sticky sh1t all over DT's face so his finger is stuck up his nose. Then me shoots the coffee mugs and brings in a new stack.
"LOL's FOR ALL!"
/everyone cheers!

/me Enters the bar which is full of Lol's
/Me takes a spray tank and sprays everything around in black.
The whole bar is black now even the peoples there.
Me: Rofl.
Rofl: What?
Me:WTF?
Wtf: What?
Me: OMG? WTF?
Omg: What
Wtf: OMFG WHAT?
OMFG: Someone called me.
me: What the crap is happening here?
Wtf: Dunno.
Dunno: What is it?
What: What???
/Me goes crazy and torns down the bar to pieces.

lol [:P]

/me likes the new black inside of the bar and feels at home... /me sighs and sits down after he put some metal in the cd-player

/me reminds Ala... I mean.. Number 2 about the EVUL plan.
*Alamo is now known as SheepySheepy
/me sits down and watches the people in the bar turning into SheepySheepy's(from 2 to 27)

/me blows up Alamo to stop SheepySheepy fever from spreading

/me respawns.
/me sits besides Droopy and watches the other SheepySheepys do their work.

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
/me turns into a SheepySheepy
"GROWL!"

this topic still goin? if you werent on the first page, you suck :P
and it's **'s, not "/me". noobs.
*ambles into bar*
''who-up fo sonoma coma?''
*busts out half ounce*
''enh?''
*goes to jukebox, plays 'see emily play' by pink floyd*
''snap''
*sits down, brings out pipe, drops it, it cracks*
''mother [:-censored].''
*sits there for 3 hours before realizing he's been arrested for selling dank*

*BBG leans forward in char*

"man i live in sonoma county, santa rosa CA."
"don't gimme dat dirt weed!"
don't you know weed makes you....
[IMAGE]

*M screams*
M: WTF?
Wtf: What?
M: Not you again.
*M shoots Wtf.*
*M then throws BBG on a BBQ.*
*Angry mob gathers around BBQ to eat BBG.*

holy [:-censored], me too fool. go to geurnville you [:-censored] :P

santa rosa is a [:-censored] town. but i lived in sonoma for hella long, so i know a thing or two bout [:-censored] towns ;P

ROFL...

OMG! DOUBLE POST! BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN!!!!! BAN i say!!!!
/me gathers some ppl to stone a non-forum noob for doubleposting.

*Angry mob gathers to throw rocks at peemonkey.*
*Peemonkey receaves stones and dies.*
*Angry mob turns to Alamo.*
Alamo: What? What?
What: What?
*Angry mob throws stones at What and Alamo.*
*They both die.*
M: Muhahaha. Why the hell you all lookin at me.
*M dies from a rock.*

lol
/me respawns.

*karmazon asks: "wtf just happened"*

*respawns*
*respawns*
*respawns*
"not this again!" (look at first page)

/me's head is still inside tha jukebox, altough im in sleep.

<buys the bar and permenantly close it>

dude! Guerneville is the HOMO H.Q. away form the H.Q.(san francisco)!!!!! cum stay at our 'get away' resort 'club fifes' just past safeway!!! we look forward to seeing you sexy peepeemonky!!!

[IMAGE]

i got friends in guernville dude. that place aint so bad 'cept for the tourists. it's that [:-censored]ing sonoma that should rot in hell... and sonoma blvd ;)

I can see a non hot chick there. So it ruins your gay partay.
Tehehehe.
(M opens the bar permamently and shoots Supah)

ever hear of lesbians M? we have them up here. hell, might even be a transexual. you'd like that, wouldnt you M? hmm? pfft, gnube to the world of homosexuals

I will never enter the gay world. Even if you bribe me.
*M sends Peemonkay to teh hot chicks world.*
Peemonkey: OMG NOOOO!!!!!!
*Peemonkay kills himself.*

*peemonkey grabs hot chick's butt on her way to work*
`pwnt

*Unlucky 13 sees that the bar is full of an angry mob*
"Ow"
*ReSPAWN*
"EEK!"
*ReSPAWN*
"Ohh!"
*ReSPAWN*
"What did I do to deserve this?"
Someone:"exist!"
"Good point"
*ReSPAWN*
"erk!
*ReSPAWN*

*M then realises what he has done.*
*M tries to go to hot chicks land.*
*Ends up in old womans land.*
M: NOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*M blows up himself before an old woman gets him.*

lol

*Unlucky 13 finds M's old laptops are still around and nicks one*
<whistles innocently>
*Unlucky 13 finds there is an online veiwing of Old Woman's Land and watches intently as M respawns and all teh old ladies rush up to him and give him hawtsechs*
"HAH! Look here guys!"
*Unlucky 13 gets a Plasma screen, hooks it up to the laptop and everyone laughs at M*
M:*Clears throat*
Me:*Uh-oh...*
*Takes 5 minutes to find the SUBMIT RePLY button, GODDAMN IT M!*
Teh yay! New page! No long searching for teh buttons

*M somehow gets back from the old woman ladies.*
*M taps Unlucky 13 who was confused where M did go.*
*Unlucky turns and M gives him a thing that teleports him to the hot old lady's world.*
*Unlucky can't kill himself.*
M: AHAHAHA
*All laughs at Unlucky as he is huged by 10 old womans.*
*M goes to hot chicks land.*
*M is happy.*

*Unlucky 13 types /kill*
...
/kill
...
/kill
...
/kill /kill /kill
... ... ...
/for [:-censored]s sakes kill!
...
~Back in hot chicks land~
*M explodes*
~Back at the Soldat Bar~
*everyone explodes*
~Back in Old Ladies Land~
*everyone spawns here*
everyone:"AHHHHHHHHHHH! /kill /kill /kill!"
...

*peemonkey lives in hot chick at white supremecist land, of which he is neither*

Lol.


*M destroys the world.*
*M starts a new world.*
*M starts MSDOS.*

c:>/createnewworld

Welcome to New World Creation. PLease state the name of your world:
M Land of Hotnnes

M Land of Hotnnes name created. Do you want to add sky, sun and moon.
Yes

Do you want to add clouds.
Yes

Do you want to add vegetation.
Yes

Do you want to add peoples.
No

Do you want a hot chick world
YES

Do you want a sunny beach for you only
HOLLY YES

Do you want to live in here.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Do you want all alchochols in here.
HOLLYY YESSS

Sorry that is not avaible in demo version. You will only get an not hot woman, two sandwiches and a [:-censored]ed up bar.
NOOOOOO.

*M throws the computer out.*

/me grabs a sandwich and eats it.

*Unlucky 13 grabs the other sandwich and eats it*

*karmazon laughs, because he pissed on the sandwich*

*Unlucky 13 vomits all over karama karma and laughs*

/me asks who's karama

Opps
*Unlucky 13 edits and fixes his post*

*Laughs at Karmazon*
Dude you look and smell much better this way. By the way M, did you create some kind of cliff in yer world so we can throw the woman down?

EDIT: Oh almost forgot, one dogg[:-censored]-taco for me please.

order a beer round the house... and run

/me is lucky karmazonpl pissed on his sandwich

phew!

*wonders why noone is fighting* *tries to knife pwn ppl, get murdered, gets drunk, knife pwns everyone*

/me Picks up barret.

/me Starts shooting birds out the window.

/me thinks that should be done faster
/me grabs my Steyr AUG
/me starts shooting birds

/me gets a Ruger and shoots squirrels

/me enters "the [:-censored]ty bar"
/me takes out an uzi
/me starts shooting some peeps while being hold by 3 guys
/me starts kicking aroung and shooting around like [:-censored]

/me Flips a blank coin over and over again.
/me Scratchs Alamo's name on it and flips it some more
/me Makes a chain out of the coin, and curses it.

I will never miss my target now!

/me Aims for the birds
/me Fires and the bullet warps back and pwns Alamos ruger

p00ned

*yawns*
"God save those in third term break with nothing to do.."
*yyawwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnssssss*
*takes out LAW and shoots the tree with all the birds in it*
*tree falls and birds fly away*
"FLY AWAY! RUN SQUIRRELS"
*chases squirrels away*
*mancer, rhombus and alamo are now sitting around with nothing to do...*

*fap fap fap fap*

/me Takes out Vash-Style shades and puts them on
/me Begins eyeing people without them knowing it.

/me glances at the two perverts and grills a squirrel over a small fire in the middle of the room.

/me hits unlucky 13 on the head with the back of my Steyr
/me runs off to the lake to shoot ducks
/me comes back (really satisfied) and starts cooking ducks next to alamo

Zero72 enters the bar. His clothing is tattered and is covered with dirt, grass and blood stains. Strapped to his back is a minigun, the barrels of which are still smoking slightly. He takes a seat at the bar. Several shotgun pellets fall out of his hair and pockets as he does.

He orders a drink and chugs the whole thing at once. He wipes his mouth on his sleeve, which deterioates under the force of such a movement, and looks at his watch.

"Crap, I'm missing Chopper Dave," he said. He then got up and left, leaving the cost of the drink on the bar, without really making eye contact with anybody.

/me follows Zero72 with his eyes and thinks 'What a weird guy' then asks the barkeeper if he has some ketchup
/me turns around to go back to his squirrels
/me steps on one of the shotgun shells which rolls away, sending him flying in the air.
/me cracks his head open on the counter.
/me respawns.
'Ow, now i've got a headache!'

/grabs a chair and walks out with it

*switches to an easier narrative style*

*walks back into bar* *gets a drink and takes a seat*

*some big guy in a black suit walks up to him*

Zero: Yes?
Some Big Guy In Black Suit: Mr. 72, you're being ping kicked.
Zero: Shiz. Not again.

*Big Guy in Black Suit hurls Zero out the window*

Zero: DAMN YOU CHILITECH! DAMN YOOUUUU! *crashing* *car alarms* *dogs barking*

/me trys to shoot zero but goes through him becuse of lag
/me jump kicks him but goes through him
/me plants nucular bomb and blows everything up!!! and zero survives becuse of lag

Yay, I win!

*is ping kicked again*

/me comes in
/me orders a coke
/me blows Alamo's squirrel with a nice spas shot
/me laughs

*After 10 day knock out from the Styer hit, Unlucky 13 wakes up*
"WHAT THE?"
*Unlucky 13 is very confused, 'cause he is in antartica after the Nuclear Bomb*
Eskimo: "Want a snow cone?"
"Hmm... how much?"
Eskimo: "$700"
"GET STUFFED!"
*takes out USSOCOM that is not there*
"Huh?"
*Eskimo takes out SOCOM and FN Minimi that was also Unlucky 13's*
"[:-censored]!!!"
*Killed by Eskimo*

/me jets myself over to antartica
/me takes out my M79
/me pwns eskimo
/me laughs

edak, who has been sitting quietly in the darkest corner, rises from his chair and walks over to the bar.
"Where be all the damn women?" edak asks the bartender, slamming his fist upon the counter.
"You've had too much..." replies the bartender.
edak raises his voice and there is a stir throughout the bar, "Too MUCH!? I'll give you too much!"
edak reaches for his Desert Eagles, but discovers they have been replaced by origami replicas.
"Damn the Japanese!" edak cries, "Damn them all to hell!"
the bartender politely asks edak to leave the bar down the barrel of his spaz.

/me unloads a hole clip into edak's head with my trusty AK
/me shouts:
"Stop complaining, no girls play Soldat, everyone knows that!"

*Unlucky 13 wonders how fast Toumaz's plane is*

*returns*

*breaks wind loudly*

*sits down and just kinda hangs around*

/me sings Frank Sinatra's "One for my baby"

/me starts sing about angels dieing

/me starts correcting DT on his spelling mistakes, then slaps Karmazon and makes his avatar make him a sandwich.

/me makes Angelina Jolie suck his [:-censored]

quote:Originally posted by LazehBoi
/me starts correcting DT on his spelling mistakes, then slaps Karmazon and makes his avatar make him a sandwich.


DOn'T YOAU DARE CORRECT MY SPELLING
/me slams him into a wall and bashes him with a toolbox

/me wonders why Unlucky thinks that Toumaz used his plane
/me used my jet boots, not my über expensive jet plane
/me starts singing some war songs across the whole room
/me tips the swedish users about http://mumintrollet.cjb.net that me has made

*speech gets slurred* *stumbles around* *vomits and passes out* *hasn't even had any drinks*

/looks at the fat banana thats drink alone and eats it

I walk into the bar..
and take one look around...at all you sorry..sad people.

and then i leave..

cuz this was lame...oh 2 years ago when i left??

ahh yes..

/me slams door..

/me reslams door, making sure LumpyFerret dont come back for another 2 years.

/me seals the door and makes sure he won't ever come back...stupid avatar...
/me goes outside through the window to get a sandwich from the mall.

/me takes his tazer gun at shocks the ground thus shocking everyone else

i burst into the room..kicking the doors off the hinges..
One half of the saloon door flys across the room..spinning like a saw blade in mid air..it comes to rest..with a meaty THWACk...in Rhombus's smelly ugly head..
Now with a door sticking out of his head..he is lying on the ground. pooping his pants as he slowly dies..
I come storming in after..and point at him..
"He is nothing but a big girly man!" I say..
And i look around the room..
I say.
"you are all big...Big girly men.."
I laugh
"ha ha ha"
You are all pooping your pants...some in fear...some in sheer extacy from the very sound of my voice..

"you sit in bar..play soldat and play grabass...You are all..big..BIG girly men"

I gather up some saliva in my mouth..
soon i have a big mouthfull..with chunks of phlegm and everything..

I take a big breath...and then spray the foul mess all over the bar..and its sorry inhabitants.

I wipe my mouth with an american dollar..

and leave..

Laughing to myself..

"haha the big girlymen"

/me shoots lumpyferret with my law and blows him to pieces

/me enters the bar, wondering where everyone is... then a mass respawn and guys with guns aiming at me all around.
...[:-censored]!!

dude you kicked the bar door to my head? didnt you see i went to the mall[:O]

/me m79-jumps and kills every1 below me

*sits there dripping with drool and blood and glaven knows what else*

Riiight, I think I'm gonna go home or something now.

*goes home*

*throws empty beer can after him*

/uses bullet time and grabs the can and throws it back

it wasnt even aimed at you :(

/me walks over to lumpyferret
/me takes out his Deagles and empties the clip in his head.
/kill
/me takes out his MP5 and empties the clip in his head.
/kill
/me takes out his AK and empties the clip in his head.
/kill
/me takes out his Steyr and empties the clip in his head.
/kill
/me takes out his Spas and empties the clip in his head.
/kill
/me takes out his Ruger and empties the clip in his head.
/kill
/me takes out his M79 and blasts the muddy head to pieces.
/kill
/me takes out his Barret and empties the clip into his smelly body.
/kill
/me takes out his Minimi and blasts the corpse with the whole clip.
/kill
/Me takes out his Minigun and hovers over the corpse with 100 bullets spraying out into lumpyferret.
/kill
/me takes out his LAW and shoots one rocket right into the stomach of the bleeding remains.
/kill
/me takes out his Knife and stabs lumpyferret like mad.
/kill
/me takes out his chainsaw and saws the remaining pieces.
/kill
/me takes out a SOCOM and empties the clip in the pile of lumpyferrets remains.

[:-censored]ING DIE YOU [:-censored]


[aaaaah what a stress relief; no hate for this, i'm just kidding]

lumpy ferret lies on the ground for a second..


Then he SPRINGS UP>>>> BRUCE LEE.FLip UP TO FEET THING FROM DA mooviess mother [:-censored]

Alamo tries to shoot as lumpy slowly walks over to him..
Click..
No ammo..
Lumpy Kicks you square in da Nutz..

YoSemaDEEEEZnuts!

etcetera,,

Lumpyferret.
wins?
yeah..i think so..

whats that?
i hear you trying to say something?

No..

you no speak..

(Alamo no speak)

Me don't even bother to read all the posts.
Me sit in bar with nuclear bomb.
Everyone see's me and grabs their guns.
Everyone too slow.
Me too dumb.
Me detonate nuclear bomb.
Soldat Bar blows up....forever...

Okay..i've have my fun on this thread!

Ye, maybe a restaurant would be better, a bar causes soooooo much violence. violent ppl wont come to a restaurant...

But if violent people DO come to a resturaunt, then it would be a violent resturaunt :)

that must be the most intelligent thing I ever heard

and if you ate there...
You would become violently ill.

/me calls the immigration woman
*immigration woman sends lumpy back to australia*
HA!!!!!!!111111111

*bar respawns*
/me enters the bar
/me goes behind the counter and starts giving beer to everyone
"Free beer, because we shall celebrate that lumpy is gone!"
/me wonders were the hell i got that sh!t from

you know i met an immigration person yesterday..
I got arrested n [:-censored]..
and have had to go to court heaps ..
so im [:-censored]n stuck in canada...

SO..this bird comes up and flashes her badge at me..

and im like...freaked and [:-censored]...maby alittle turned on..PHWOAAR>.

but yeah...She said that if i "leave canada, all my charges will be dropped"
so yeah....so long Canada..

*returns with a pet Metroid Prime on a leash*

Down, Bobo!

*is drained of his life force* *turns to dust*

*respawns in Bolivia*

What the hell?

*opens a chili dog stand*

/me jets over to Bolivia
"One chili dog, please."
/me eats teh über hot'n'spicy dog
"..."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!!!!"

/me orders a milk in back in the soldat bar..

*sip* ahhhh, this's the life...

*jump kicks steelix

/me jets back to teh soldat bar
"WAAAAAAAAAAATERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"
/me drinks 1031 glasses of water
"Hmm... I WANT ANOTER DOGGEH!"

/me goes behind the counter and hits the barman that wants to stop him
/me slurs 'You dunno howda mix mah drink'
/me mixes himself a bloody mary with some special ingredients.

/me bites DT
"DONT YOU DARE KICK ME, YOU AMOEBA!"
/me grabs his milk in midair and takes another sip...

ahhh, life's great :D

I enter the bar..

/bullet time!!!!!

I hock up a big loogie..and spit it into your milk.
Right as you are about to take a sip..It all happens so fast..that by the time the glass touches your lips and you start to drink, that sucker has already made its way into your mouth..BYATCHH!

I max payne..dive roll...along the ground..Searching for some spit ammo.
I find flour and eggs,
I take 3 eggs in my mouth and bite into them...then i take some flour and spill it into my mouth..

Soon my mouth is all chunky!!!!!!

yeah!! my head starts spinning around...and i spit that eggy spitty floury stuff all over!!!!!!!!

I walk up to the bar...It is covered in stuff..all white and eggy and floury..
I lean over..and take a big LICK of it from the bar..

I spit at each and every one of you..one more time..

"haha GIRLYMEN!!" i laugh to myself as i leave..

/me throws an empty milk can after lumpy

I turn around and kick it..
It flys back and smashes you in the face..
I pull my neck back..

and hock a super long range loogie right into your eyeball..

/me is dead
*respawns*


...
bartender, another milk please...

/me sits drunk on the counter and pours tomato juice, vodka and tabasco into his throat instead of mixing it before.

dont forget the spit..

/me starts drinking beer
*five seconds later*
/me is drunk
/me starts singing
/me can't sing

/me knifes toumaz

*sip*

*returns to bar covered in chili after a cataclysmic accident that doomed his chili dog business*

*sits down* *orders a drink* *passes out before he drinks it*

I unleash a box of rabid hungry ferrets into the bar..

All hell breaks loose.

I quietly slip away..

*is mauled by rabid hungry ferrets* *gets dead*

*respawns*

Interesting. *orders a drink* *passes out before he drinks it*

and then all of a sudden..

I got really angry..

ANGRY at FORUM!!!!!!

so i come into the bar..

and i start kicking you all...

kicking you in the nuts.

and i come around..and I KICK!..POW...right in your nutsaq..

I move around the bar..spitting and kicking and biting and swearing..
and pretty much just going ape..and having a good time at it too..

so there i am...kicking and spitting..and biting...AND having a good time.

when i realise..that you are all noob..

and probably homo..

so i get worried..about being so close to you people..

and I leave to go get a burger..

but all the while..I AM ANGRY!

/me holds his kicked balls and goes for a sign and some paint.
/me paints 'We don't serve LumpyFerret here' on it and hangs it to the door.
/me pulls out a mobile and phones a security service to get a thugh that secures the door.

*wakes up with some really sore man-berries for some odd reason*

/me is sober
/me got teh über headache
/me orders a big coffee
/me falls asleep on teh bar counter

/me respawns after (yet another) a nade exploded in my mouth *WHO PUT THAT NADE IN MY MILK??*

*hides bottle of Trick Exploding Milk*

/me sets bar on fire

/me eats a banana and drops the peel on the floor
/me waits for all hell to break loose

/me slips on Flatline

/me is slipped on??
/me stands up and eats a hot dog

/me walks into bar, looks around, sees an empty corner and sits in it

/me fusilates Will

Sich heil!

/me fusilates back (dont ask lol)

/me EATS WILL, HAHAHAHA!

/me self nades inside Flatline

/me is self naded on the inside by Will
/me takes some Pepto Bismol

/me starts to extinguish the fire lumpy started
/me tells lumpy playing with fire is dangerous, me then walks toward the bar and orders a beer.
/me takes a chair a starts to easily drink my beer.

/me pokes dutch so he spills his beer

MILK IS THE SOLUTION!!
*sip*

/me respawns and pokes steelix so he spills his milk.

NOOOOOOOOOO000000000000000000ooooooooooooooooooooo

*smashes the beer bottle on steelix head then stabs him in the stumach with the broken bottle*
"you [IMAGE]!"
*pulls out deagles and starts to pull the triggers*
"click" "click" "ow [IMAGE]"

MY MILK!!

Alamo walks around in the bar while he looks at the mess inside. He slips on the milk, stumbles around, trips on the banana and is sent flying through the air. Trying to get hold of anything, Alamo grabs a shelf with grenades, falls to the ground and is buried by a huge pile of nades that roll all over the bar.

lumpyferret spits on the pile of grenades..

the whole pile suddenly bursts into flames!!!!!

THats a spicy meatball! haha!

A few seconds later, on a camera on the moon:
[IMAGE]

/me enters the bar.
/wonders why life exists.
/me orders a beer with swedish meatballs to make me happeh again
/me throws a knife into lumpy's head

*respawns*
*walks inside and shoots Steelix*
*orders another beer*

/me haunts dutchy as a ghost

boooooooooooooo

/me smacks Steelix with an ectoplasmic porpoise

/me somehow survived the massive explosion.
/me builds a pc from the things on the floor, downloads soldat and begins to play.

*thanks flatline*
*accidently, ahem, spills some beer on will's pc*
"oops sorry"

*goes and makes a bomb*
*finishes and puts in backpack comes back*
*and makes a eletric chair and puts lumpy in it and turns it on*