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Santa Claus?
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mak89gt
November 13, 2003, 8:21 pm
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
Consider the following:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist
children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5
children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at
least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical).

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each
Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to
park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,
distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have
been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to
the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around
the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our
calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per
household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do
what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made
vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the
sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even
granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the
normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the
weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four
times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the
reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times
greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would
be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's
dead now.

b00stA
November 13, 2003, 8:44 pm
[IMAGE]

M
November 13, 2003, 8:49 pm
Lol. So much writing for nothing. Lol i can't read that. It will take my whole night.

Kirby_106
November 13, 2003, 8:53 pm
HAHA!!! that was VERY interesting. AHHAHAAHHA. I believed in santa when i was a kid but one year when we were going on a trip to florida my mom had to run inside (we had a florida trip every year and i was beguinning to wonder why EVERY time we went she had to quikly run inside) Anyways i asked my dad (i still believed in santa) why mom had to go inside and he said "because she has to put the presents under the tree" (sopposedly when we got back from our vacation santa would leave us some presents) so i said "why is mom doing santas job dad??" then my dad said "because she IS santa" then i said "but santa is a boy and mom is a girl....how is she santa??" my dad respownds "no no no son....there is no REAL santa..Mom is just doing this to make you believe in santa" that was the worst vacation i EVER had because i knew there was no santa. Thats how i was "told" about santa. How did your folks break the bad news to you???

Cookie.
November 13, 2003, 9:23 pm
uhh i think i figured it out on my own lol uh like when i was 3 for example lol :D but besides taht... think about it how many kids are "good" today lol ya lol

y0da
November 13, 2003, 10:17 pm
This whole story whit Santa is fake... There was a kid, that haved a lot of toys, becouse he lived in a rich family. His name was Mikolaj (Nicolaus). And he gift all his toys to other poor children... [:(]

THE END

This is the real story about Santa...

But whats this???

[IMAGE]

kkazican
November 13, 2003, 10:59 pm
THERE IS NO SANTA!?!?!?!?!?!?





hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm then who has been recieving my letters?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Weed
November 13, 2003, 11:07 pm
im jewish...
so i dont care, he can be real if he wants (yeah right)
so i say, if i play the christian for one day (xmas day) and he comes to my place... ill steal the toys and give them to ppl who need it. and than ill piss on him, stupid fatso!

BMF
November 13, 2003, 11:48 pm
mak where are teh funnies?

?
November 14, 2003, 12:09 am
please sir i want some funnies

frogboy
November 14, 2003, 5:54 am
I saw Santa spawn camping on the roof of my house once, with a plastic bow.

n00bface
November 14, 2003, 7:35 am
You are an idiot! Santa freezes time to deliver presents. It really takes him like equal to 3 years to deliver presents, but since... time is frozen... yeah. SANTA EXISTS AND I WILL NEVER STOP BELIEVING!

frogboy
November 14, 2003, 7:49 am
But I pushed him off the roof! He died half way down of a heart attack. Sorry to tell you this, but Santa is no more.

R0L4ND
November 14, 2003, 12:25 pm
Go [:-censored] yourself if you dont believe in Santa. No more presents for you. Mo more presents to me.

Dark_Noddy
November 15, 2003, 1:35 pm
Santa is a pimp !!! he says "ho ho ho" :D

bLaStEr
November 15, 2003, 2:15 pm
Santa was really an village idiot, who gave candy for children & took 'em to the forest... ho ho ho...

Essentle
November 15, 2003, 7:45 pm
ahahaha [:D]

3rd_account
November 15, 2003, 9:48 pm
Horny, old, fat, fetisch man who can't get a biatch makes children sit on his lap and ask what they like. That sickens me!
Religion ain't nothing for me tnx...

CardBoardWarrior
November 16, 2003, 1:47 am
lmao. He obviously didn't write all that sh!t himself.

NightCabbage
November 16, 2003, 5:33 am
mak - i think they liked ur topic! ^_^

... LOL

juice _ box
November 16, 2003, 10:34 am
My parents thought the concept of santa claus was extreme bull[:-censored], but still gave me gifts.

LiL_FuKa
November 16, 2003, 12:42 pm
Santa's my father.

Souza
November 16, 2003, 1:09 pm
dark_noddy: i laughed to tears with that LOLOLOL!

but if u think as Santa as a concept of the person who is kind and gives presents to children in 24th December then our parents ARE santa and so will we be (fek, im inspired today, must be the flu) SANTA!!
So let's all believe in SANTA and play soldat and receive presents and laugh and laugh and sleep and everything else
christmas is time for joy and peace and love and joy and peace and love :D though it is still one month away o.O
Merry Christmas everybody :DD

LumpyFerret
November 17, 2003, 5:42 am
you know why santa wears a red suit?

because of coca cola..
bringing out an add ages ago..when coke had drugs in it..
and santa was wearing red..meaning that he enjoyed the refreshing taste of cola and cocaine..(or opuim or some crazy 30's drug..)

?
November 17, 2003, 9:27 pm
quote:Religion ain't nothing for me tnx
umm last time i checked there was no santaclausism idiot, its not a religion its a lie parents tell their children to add cheer to the holidays and a way to bribe their kids into acting good

gi.joe
November 19, 2003, 4:10 am
last time i checked... santa claus did have something to do with religion.. HE IS A SAINT!~
hence "saint nick" not a religion but he is part of the christian one...
just thought id point that out
:)

frogboy
November 19, 2003, 5:12 am
quote:Originally posted by ?
there was no santaclausism

You mean I've been following the wrong religion for 5 years?

villekallio
November 19, 2003, 3:59 pm
There is santaclausism! And the is Starwarsism too. And btw Santa Claus lives in Finland not in north pole. :P

R0L4ND
November 19, 2003, 5:12 pm
HAN BOR I SVERIGE, DIN FINSKE JÄVEL!!! DU SKA INTE SNO TOMTEN!!!


(j/k) Internal joke, between national neighbours.

ClanKwH
November 26, 2003, 2:48 pm
NO ONE MESSES WITH SANTA!!!! [:(!]


And Btw He is from Denmark [;)]

?
November 26, 2003, 3:31 pm
Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus on christmas, not santa.

Liber_Lupus
November 26, 2003, 3:55 pm
BULL[:-censored]! mak havent u got anything better to do just to write som crap about santa, every1 knows santa is made from sand...

?
November 26, 2003, 3:56 pm
No thats glass

gi.joe
November 28, 2003, 5:34 am
lol Liber ure about as stupid as my shoelace

Sangre Maldita
November 28, 2003, 8:05 am
Santa rapes kids when they r sleeping, fortunately I'm always alert of him.

frogboy
November 28, 2003, 8:39 am
Pfft, go ruin a children's story why don't you. Now the 5 year olds will be scared of Santa (who was from Australian, he was raised by kangaroos, btw) and Christmas.

mak89gt
November 29, 2003, 2:28 am
quote:Originally posted by Liber_Lupus
BULL[:-censored]! mak havent u got anything better to do just to write som crap about santa, every1 knows santa is made from sand...


no, he is made from bull[:-censored]

gi.joe
December 4, 2003, 4:56 am
straight clowning.,..